Lactose-free Thanksgiving etiquette tips/dessert ideas please!

I have a 3 yr old, lactose intolerant, picky eater coming to Thanksgiving this year.

My etiquette question is this: The adults involved were not thrilled with the idea of everything being made with lactose-free spread in place of butter. So instead I plan to make separate sides (the same as the rest of the menu - mashed potatoes, squash, stuffing, brussels sprouts and beets) for the little one without butter. Maybe just a half cup of each put out on the table in ramekins as his own little serving dishes. Does that sound like a good idea or a bad idea? On the one hand, he'll definitely be able to eat everything like everyone else and I'm sure his parents will appreciate the extra effort, but on the other hand I don't want to alienate the little guy! What do you think?

My dessert question is: What dessert can one make for a lactose intolerant three year old who hates fruit, doesn't like cake (but will eat the frosting off the top - if it's lactose free) and only wants to eat candy??? I plan to do a pecan pie, but that will have butter, so I need an alternative.


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