The contents of this post may suddenly disappear when they realize how much classified information it contains. Please read this quickly, before they find out. We don't have much time.
In 1985, Ed Levine worked on a top secret project to invent a new snack, the Reese's Cookie Dough Cups. But he couldn't stabilize the recipe and it failed. So he invented a transdimensional snack window that would allow him to observe an alternate culinary universe. He theorized if the Cookie Dough Cup existed in another universe and he could find it, he could then stabilize the recipe in our universe too.
He used the device to observe an alternate version of himself ("AlterEd") on the brink of inventing Cookie Dough Cups. But at the crucial moment, a distraction prevented AlterEd from realizing he had perfected the recipe and he gave up in defeat. Our Ed determined to travel to the alternate universe to save the recipe, lest both universes go on without it.
To do this, he created a device to bridge the two universes and used it to cross over. But instead of helping AlterEd, Ed ended up kidnapping the Cookie Dough Cups and keeping them for himself. Naturally, AlterEd was pissed! So he became the Secretary of Noms and sent an army of shapeshifting chefs over to our universe to get the Cookie Dough Cups back.
Long story short, a bunch of shenanigans happened, I joined Serious Eats Fringe Division to investigate some super freaky snacks and boom! After months of working together building up mutual respect and professional admiration, Cookie Dough Cups and I fell in love. Blah, blah, blah, I got kidnapped, learned how to use my super powers, swam out to the Statue of Liberty... Anyhoo, Cookie Dough Cups and I developed a plan to help unite both universes and restore the balance when suddenly—
What was I talking about? What am I doing here, anyway?
Have I ever told you about this recurring dream I have about a mysterious Reese's Cup? Except it's not like any Reese's Cup I've ever made before. Something's different about it. Somehow, I know I love it, even though I can't remember its name.
Oh, like I'm the only one excited about a new episode of Fringe tonight?