Check out the new Bacon-Avocado In-N-Out Burger! is what I would say if this were really a new menu item.
As wonderful as In-N-Out is with the simplicity of its toppings, don't you sometimes wish you could just jack it up a bit? Is it wrong to want a slice of avocado on my In-N-Out Double Double? Apparently I'm not the only one who feels that way. A few weeks back a reader tweeted at me that he brings his own bacon and avocado to In-N-Out to add to his burgers.
I may not be the world's smartest man, but I recognize genius when I see it, and this was genius staring me right in the face like an Animal-Style Double Double fresh off the griddle.
So yesterday, just before I left to pick up Leandra and Jim from the airport (they were visiting me in SF from New York for some Serious Business), I picked up an avocado, cooked a few strips of bacon until fully crisp, and packed them up into a brown paper bag with a little cutting board and a paring knife in tow.
We drove over to the Millbrae location of In-N-Out* and ordered ourselves a Double Double Animal-Style, some well-done fries, and some drinks, then waited for our order to be cooked. (P.S. For those of you who are a bit hazy on the terminology, here's a guide to every single thing on the secret menu at In-N-Out.)
*Pro-tip: This is the closest location to SFO, for when you need your In-N-Out fix as soon as you land.
Meanwhile I vigorously ignored the stares of fellow happy customers as I pulled out my mini cutting board, de-bagged my bacon strips, and sliced open my avocado. The only thing I forgot was a spoon to get the avocado out of its skin. I asked the friendly lady at the counter for an extra spoon and she happily obliged.
It snapped into three pieces as I tried to get it out of its plastic packaging.
"Oh, I'm sorry—our spoons are really weak," she said. "I don't know why we even have them."
She handed me another and I very carefully slit the plastic package open with my knife before trying to use it to remove the avocado from the skin. It promptly snapped into a half dozen pieces, embedding itself in my avocado.
Note to self: Pre-slice the avocado or bring my own spoon next time.
I scooped out the avocado as best I could with bare fingers and prepared everything.
Once the burger arrived I started laying on the toppings maintained a moment of respectful silence to consider its beauty, then opened it up to start laying on the toppings.
Since the top bun on a Double Double Animal-Style is already fused to the top patty with cheese, the best place for the bacon and avocado is between the two patties, all comfortable-like with the caramelized onions.
...then the avocado...
...then the reassembly.
We slipped the sandwich back into its original wrapping for a fully authentic experience. This should also prevent the now-massive sandwich from backsliding and spilling toppings out all over your freshly pressed jeans.
The verdict? Worth it. If you're in the mood for bacon and avocado, that is. Granted, it does throw off the balance of a supremely balanced sandwich, but sometimes you're just in the mood for excess, right?
Don't have an In-N-Out near you? Never fear: I painstakingly deconstructed the burger so that you can make it for yourself at home.