Editor's note: Welcome back to Cereal Eats, the column in which Jamelle Bouie offers an on-camera review of an oddball cereal of his choice—the odder the better. If you missed the last column, check it out here. And if you have any oddball breakfast cereal tips, suggestions, or other pressing cereal intel, drop a note in the comments or email us!
I have never had a good brand-themed cereal. As of this review, that hasn't changed.
For today’s video, I tried Kellogg’s Minecraft Creeper Crunch cereal. Not only am I old enough to have never played Minecraft, but I had no idea there was this much Minecraft merchandise and branded content. It appears, however, that kids are still crazy about the property, enough so that they’ll want to have a little Minecraft iconography with their breakfast.
The problem is that this cereal, cinnamon-flavored with marshmallows, is not good. It barely tastes like cinnamon, and the marshmallows are flavorless. If Minecraft is a video game about building with digital blocks, then this cereal is like eating those blocks except, I imagine, far less satisfying. These aren’t good as a snack, and the milk isn’t particularly good either. They are, as far as cereal goes, a total failure.
That said, this isn’t the worst thing I’ve ever eaten, and for that alone I don’t think I could give them the lowest possible score. Still, there’s no reason you should ever eat this.
Verdict: 1.5 out of 5 spoons
The opinions expressed are the author's own and do not necessarily reflect those of the Serious Eats staff.
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