From J&D's, the people who brought you Bacon Salt and Baconnaise (among other bacon-flavored products), come bacon-flavored envelopes. Yeah, instead of tasting like paste, you can now dream of breakfast as you pay your bills.
As with Bacon Salt and Baconnaise, there's no real bacon in Mmmvelopes, so they're as vegetarian- or vegan-friendly as a pork-flavored stationery item can be. As such, the website says you don't need to refrigerate them. Available at mmmvelopes.com, $6.99 for 25 envelopes