I Want a Varsity Letter in Cheese Racing

20080513_CheeseRacing.jpgMaterials Involved: One barbecue, one individually-wrapped American cheese slice (Kraft brand preferred) per player.

Background Story: The plastic surrounding cheese singles does not melt when placed on a fired-up grill, contrary to popular belief. The heat-resistant cheese jacket doesn't even release a toxic, smelly fume. Instead, the cheese inside boils into a gaseous form, puffing up the plastic wrap like a hot-air balloon.

Goal: Be the first cheese slice owner to achieve full inflation!

The Rules: Absolutely no diet or low-fat cheese allowed. All players must throw their slice onto the grill at the same time, without overlap, and no blowing or fanning flames under each slice.

Uppie vs. Downie Technique: Much debate surrounds the merits of placing cheese seam-up (uppie) or seam-down (downie). Logic would say seam-down since a natural "seal" would form at the bottom, resulting in less gas loss and more puffing. Cheese racers claim that the uppie method works about the same.

Thank you, Presurfer, for introducing us to the world of professional Cheese Racing.