Shuna Fish Lydon, on Jewish Comfort Food: "It is my ultimate opinion that there are no real bagels in the Bay Area. I have tried and retried them all. I've been cajoled by hopeful and starry eyed non-Jews as well as other deperate New York Jews. Nope, they do not exist here. Just because bread is round does not mean it's a bagel. When a bagel is a bagel, every gram of your being knows it. It's taste and texture, the smell of your grandmother's kitchen. It's whipped butter, freshly sliced red onions, and too much cream cheese."
(A friend of mine who grew up in the Bay Area but lives in Brooklyn brings a sack of bagels home for his parents every time he flies home, per their standing request. They're not Jewish either, they just really like New York bagels!)