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The Ten Most Recent Posts By therealchiffonade

From Talk

Turoxenasaurus Rexurky...

I got this in a T-Giving myspace bulletin by a "comedic" band called The Stick Martin Show. They are actually better-than-average musicians but they sprinkle their songs with comedic lyrics.

The leader prefaced this remark by saying he was a vegetarian and that Turducken sounded gross. Here is his idea:

Next year I'm going to put a Turkey in side of a goose which I will wedge inside of two oxen, which will then be ground up and fed to a dinosaur. Then I wait for dinosaurs to become extinct, and set my oven to 350. I then take the dinosaur fossils and fed them to an Albino Boy from Cleveland, jam that whole mess back into another Turkey and serve it up to my friends and family because I love them.

I call it Turoxenasaurus Rexurky, you'll call it delicious.

I thought this was hysterical (as I do most food-related humor) and hope it gave you a chuckle as well. Happy Major T-Giving Prep Day!

The Ten Most Recent Comments By therealchiffonade

From Talk

Heinous processed foods

@izatryt - Sorry you have bronchitis... Here is some tea (_)? and don't forget the honey! And some brandy if you have it!

@Madelyn - I have a generic name I use for the chemicals in foods like cheese powder (and anything used by Sandra Lee): Polypseudosomethingorother.

From Talk

cooking sites

Meant to say - Be very wary of user-contributed recipe websites. (i.e. Allrecipes and Zaar.) Unless otherwise indicated, the recipes are not tested. When you go on a magazine site or Epicurious, the recipes are tested. I've had some disasters with user-contributed sites.

From Talk

cooking sites

I generally check out Martha Stewart's site because if you can't find something in Living mag, you will probably find it in Everyday Food or from a show featuring a chef who made it.

Epicurious.com is also one of my defaults.

From Talk

Heinous processed foods

There are a few I really detest.

Kool Whip. And here's the best use of it.

Peanut Butter Slices because you simply can't make this stuff up.

These because like the advertising says, "Every diet needs a little wiggle room," but I don't thnk this is what dieticians had in mind.

If I may include a beverage... But no country I ever visited thought it was time for this.

This because if you eat it, you're certainly going to h*ll.

From Talk

what's your sure-fire beat the heat tips?

Rita's Italian Ice. Tangerine if they have it. Bring down your core temp and the rest of you will follow.

From Required Eating

Does Activia Yogurt Offer Any Health Benefits?

I remember not long ago seeing a piece on the news about this yogurt. There are some questions about the validity (or even the existence) of the "clinical studies."

I've eaten Activia in the hopes of having it... work its magic. It really didn't make much difference from a digestive standpoint. After I read the label and discovered the enormous amount of sugar in each container, I bailed on it.

Eventually I began buying Fage Total 0% Greek yogurt and I've never looked back.

From Talk

Pennsylvania Dutch cuisine

Any flour or baking grain that's been locally milled. That's incredible stuff.

From Talk

10 things I learned from food media (and not from momma)

What about people who put oil in pasta cooking water? That's a big no-no. Forgot all about that one!

From Talk

Roasting Green Coffee at Home

Here's a link on the subject.

Actually, here's the entire google search. There seems to be some issue with the design of certain poppers. Be aware of the dos and don'ts if you're going to try this. Good luck!

From Talk

already tired of pasta salad

I use orzo or farfalle almost exclusively for pasta salads.

@brooke - spot on. The more fresh ingredients you add like chopped parsley, cilantro, dill and aromatics like raw garlic and raw onions, the livelier the salad. I add a lot of pitted kalamata or gaeta olives which seem to be a hit. I generally don't do mayonnaisy salads but instead opt for vinaigrettes featuring sherry vinegar or rice wine vinegar. I found another tasty vinegar which I'm going to put into an IV drip.

Sharp, bright flavors will liven up pasta salads.

Responses to Comments by therealchiffonade

From Talk

what's your sure-fire beat the heat tips?

I eat about 3 pounds of grapes a day, in addition to iced coffee and salad for both lunch and dinner

From Talk

Anne Burrell's show: I hate to bring this up again but...

I've been in the industry for 40+ years and I have worked for some pretty big heavyweights and never saw that much salt being used....

.I think after working with Mario and in Italy too she would have grasped that the true essence of Italian cooking in my mind is to use fresh local ingeredients and let them be the star of the dish and let their true flavors come thru!!! ..... I mean if you have to use that much salt what does that truly say about the rest of cooking flavor wise ????? Maybe something's missing ....

There are numerous oppurtunities to enhance flavor without the use of salt. I'm not saying you can eliminate it completely but use it to just bring out all the other flavors already there. Infusions with oils,herbs and seasonings,all kinds of citrus juices and zests,marinades and spice rubs and combos to just name a few can bring out flavor without any salt.......I think if used carefully and in moderation it can be a great asset It just has to be used in the right places....

Baking is one place where salt is unfortunately under used a lot. There are those who think there is no place for salt in baking . It is not just used for flavor...It truly does bring out the flavor of other ingredients without the consumer ever even knowing it was there in the right amounts.

I just get the shivers thinking about "Tuschbag" standing over in the corner of the studio with his arms folded....I'm dying also ....Is that where ROTFLMAO came from ????? lol I wonder if he has read any of this stuff......Hay Tusch ! If your listening ....I'd hold on to that open mike nite gig you have goin on !!!! lol And Anne tell him to go over in the corner and be quiet and behave ! lol

From Talk

what's your sure-fire beat the heat tips?

It's 90 here in Ohio, I'd say get to a movie theater or library and hang out for the day!

I'm also one for watermelon and fresh squeezed or frozen lemonade--both fruits with or without vodka!

*LunaPierCook I just spent the last half hour checking out cucumber salad recipes, yours is basically what I ended up with, adding some farmer's market tomatoes. Salad set for tomorrow night's menu! I also saw a cucumber watermelon salad that if I had watermelon here I would make, soon enough though!

From Talk

Anne Burrell's show: I hate to bring this up again but...

@PerkyMac: TuschBag. Oh my God, I'm dying here. Hilarious!

From Talk

Anne Burrell's show: I hate to bring this up again but...

She needs to drink some of that wine, relax a little and let the cooking do the talking. Too much chatter.

From Talk

Heinous processed foods

When I am under the weather (and currently am very much so!) I make Lipton noodle soup (with extra noodles). I use extra water to dilute the sodium. Then I eat the noodles with a bit of broth. I really have a difficult time with preservatives. Systemically. I understand the income limitations and lack of "food education" so many folks deal with. I can't be critical, but I can make the effort to educate and support whenever the opportunity presents itself.

@db - You are hereby "given a break"

From Talk

cooking sites

www.fineliving.com
www.cuisineathome.com

I second (or third or fourth!) the Cooking Light web site...you can't go wrong with them.

Good advice from therealchiffonade - take it from one who has been "burned" more than once by an awful recipe from those sites. I just avoid them now.

From Talk

what's your sure-fire beat the heat tips?

Tomorrow is going to be wicked humid (and hot) here in the east. My thing is tons of ice (and I mean ice) water, fruit and nothing heavy. I will start the day with a protein smoothie. No heating elements will be turned on, other than the coffee thing my husband does in the morning.

From Talk

Heinous processed foods

Erg, um...if I was a little, um, crazed, let's just say that it was a milk packed on top of the dozen eggs in the grocery bag kind of day. Really. It's not just an urban legend, there are people who work in stores who pack groceries like this. Dozen eggs, bottom of bag. Milk, on top. Nothing else in the bag, so if I hadn't noticed the peculiar packing order before I lifted the bag, the milk would have tipped sideways and smashed the eggs for sure. As it was, the eggs were a bit terrified.

That, and one too many phone calls clogging up the business line with stock tips, health care insurance, credit card machines and all sorts of things that I just NEED to run my business, TODAY. And not one call offering me chocolate covered almonds or walnut brownies. Odd, eh?

So if I was a bit, um, cranky, gimme a break, eh?

:-)

As far as evil packaged foods, I see no point in most of them, but when I'm sick, I crave Cheetos, mac n cheese from the blue box, Mrs Grass's Chicken Noodle Soup (do they still make that stuff?) and Goldfish. The crackers, not the swimmy kind. Oh, and Ritz crackers with butter along with tomato soup from a can.

Frozen burritos and things like that seem to be particularly not good. Chili from a can is just..ugh. not good. Enchiladas and tamales from a can have never passed my lips, and I hope they never do. The idea just seems so terribly wrong, somehow.

From Talk

Are We Eating Tomatoes Now?

What scare? Kidding. Never stopped.