my girlfriend has all but given up on cooking or baking anything with me, says in the kitchen i'm a little territorial (she's right). she'll tease me or make jokes from the sidelines and encourages me to do what she calls feng shui cooking - meaning i should clean things as i go so she doesn't have to when i'm done.

great article! i grow anywhere from 15-20 different varieties of chili peppers every summer and always freeze a bunch so i can feel a little bit of heat and maybe a little endorphin rush in the dead of winter. this makes me want to open up the freezer and get a little something going when i get in from work.

that's an excellent question for one of those advice columns. they would be able to give you some advice on doing it tactfully. i'm not so sure i have much tact when it comes to people being cheapskates..

here's what i have done: said "well, i don't know if you want to come back here one day, but since i'd like to return i'm going to throw in some more for the tip"

i've also gone a different route with a person that i actually cared about whether i was offending or not: found a way over the course of the next week to bring the conversation to servers and how they get generally get paid less than minimum wage and get taxed on 15% whether they even get that much in tips or not, and isn't that crazy? and maybe i'll mention that i think most people think the standard is around 18-20% now, but for excellent service, more, etc.

baha: you're absolutely right, i mixed up the names between the essex cheese and saxelby's. i feel bad about that, because they're so nice at saxelby's.

addendum to the original post: the last time i posted a list of specialty markets i was thinking about cheese. today i'm thinking about chocolate.

it's no secret that people are opinionated about their chocolate and there are too many places i enjoy on a semi-regular basis to name here, so i'll mention my favorite chocolatier: kee ling tong. (www.keeschocolate.com).

if you are looking for a comprehensive list of chocolate shops in nyc, i happened across this list in my online 'travels' this would be the best i've found: http://www.tenementcity.com/map_chocolate_ny.html

people who are too conservative in what they'll try / order.

or if i'm developing a recipe that seems a *little* out there and the person flat out won't even try it. carrot cake ice cream may not be your first choice, but it's not that weird! (right?)

i find it flattering when people ask me for a recipe and i always give them out when asked. i'm pretty specific about the ingredients (for instance, i list what brand of chocolate i'm using for that particular recipe or i'll note that it might make a difference to use muscovado sugar instead of regular dark brown) and this has resulted in a few jokied from friends about having 'ocd' but that's okay.

it puts me off when someone won't share a recipe with others without good reason. offhand the only good reason i can think of might be if your business depended on it.

does the person plan on using it for baking or for eating out of hand? if it's the latter, i'd like to suggest a couple of different options. one easy to find option is green and black's organic chocolate bars. the "maya gold", flavored with orange and spices is a favorite of mine.

you also have the option of heading to soho to vosges chocolate. if you can get over the pretentiousness of her silly "how to eat a vosges chocolate bar" written on the side of the package you will be rewarded with some chocolate bars with interesting flavors and spices. my favorite is the oaxaca bar with gaujillo and pasilla chilis. it's not "hot" just a little bit spicy (in the best possible way) my second favorite is the red fire exotic candy bar, flavored with mexican ancho, chipotle chili and cinnamon.

if it's for baking, here's what i rely on almost exclusively: valrhona for bitter and semisweet, and for unsweetened, i always use scharffen berger.

hope this helps. have a nice holiday!