Serious Eats - seriouseats.com

Hey, late to the party, but I have to say, the original of what J would say - "Hey, was everything okay?" (paraphrased) made me sit up and think of all the times I could have used that. What you wound up saying gives me pause if only because you directly say "Is this all you meant to leave?" which can put people on the defensive... otherwise, bravo!
PS Carding people made me uncomfortable initially as well. Eventually I got to know the signs of underage drinking fairly well, and if I did card you, it was a signal to the boss that there was an issue... We had to throw a guy out who seriously looked like he was going to reach over and punch me (!!!) for carding his - I SWEAR SHE LOOKED 12 and COULDN'T be more than 16 at most! - mistress. It was really disturbing because he was like 35 or 40 - not OLD, but uncomfortably old to be dating a girl who not only look to be just entering puberty but apparently was under 21 as she did not have ANY ID on her. Ick.

I think the time has come for waiters and waitresses to get paid a salary instead of having to 'beg' for tips. And don't tell me restaurant owners don't make enough money to support doing this. I know what the markups are. Instead of telling customers not to dine out if they cannot afford tipping, tell restaurant owners to close shop if they cannot afford to pay their staff!

Federally Mandated %10% WHAT??? I have been in the biz 30 years and have never heard of this. If that were true, half the country would be in jail. Any links?
IMHO, the risk of upsetting/embarassing/infuriating a customer is not worth the reward of an extra 3-5-7 bucks on one tip.
Regarding the folks who don't see asking for ID as a courageous thing, let me assure you it CAN be. 98% of everyone, even the just turned-21 crowd, is OK with an ID check. The other 2% can have a reaction ranging from open hostility to violence. I have witnessed shouting matches, threats and more over a simple ID check. Some people carry the attitude "I don't have to show my damned ID to anybody, now get me a drink!" Witness how many shootings occur because someone was denied entrance to a bar or restaurant. A guy I knew fairly well was killed here in Las Vegas in the mid-1980's who worked as a host for a bar/restaurant/nightclub place and it was over an ID check. One guy in a party of about 5 did not have an ID; his friends were going in anyhow. He gets mad, goes to the car, gets his 38 and kills the host. (Interesting this chap, who turned out to be 24, had his gun handy, but not his driver's license.) The point is when you ask for ID, some people get REALLY offended.

If the customers had made an error and tipped too much, would you have brought that to their attention as well?

@mh330 - out of all the mean-spirited and petty comments that this post has elicited, yours has to be the meanest and the pettiest. Sure, people in other lines of work work harder and more is asked of them in terms of physical effort or risk, and education or some other qualifier, but please recall that these other people are compensated fairly and receive benefits such as paid vacation, holidays and health insurance. Servers get none of this, and if they are to get any kind of decent wage, must rely on the whim of whoever they serve, sort of like a seller on ebay needing good feedback.

I don't really support what Hannah did, because she said herself, the big tips even out the loss of the small ones, and generally a server does not get that many poor tips. But your cold response, and your attitude toward servers, makes me cheer for her and all the others who have to serve people in order to make a living.

People like you make me glad I'm no longer a waitress. And I got great tips.

Leaving a tip of less than 10%, regardless of service, is criminal. Federal law mandates 10%, however, that same fereral law punishes the victim not the criminal. However, in some municipalities you can have a poor tipper charged with theft of services for leaving less than 10%. Where I live (South Alabama) is one of the worst tipping areas of the country, several of the small towns here will prosecute someone for leaving less than the federally mandated 10% gratuity.

To earn that 10% tip a server must bring you something. It doesn't have to be what you ordered just something and they don't have to be friendly.

I do not like this but to change it is in the hands of the voters. Tell your politicians to pay servers the same minimum wage as every other industry in the country and you can then tip whatever you want. Don't write/call your local law-makers and you should tip big every time.

If your service is truly poor speak to the manager. If you do not speak to the manager than your service wasn't truly poor. If you have ever rationalized why you left a bad tip, chances are you are just cheap.

Is this column actually real? I cannot believe someone gave you a column to write about the same job I have had for the last 3 years, albeit not in New York City.

I additionally cannot believe a 21 year old has a problem carding people. If I were younger than 21 (but legally allowed to serve alcohol with a proper permit), I may feel a bit awkward asking people for their ID; but as a person legally allowed to consume alcohol myself (Im only 22)....Its mor than over due to ask such a simple request...; I would say you were only a "1/2 ballsy waitress"...in the sense you basically asked for a larger tip, but were afraid to ask peers for their ID. I dont get it, I really dont.
My life at a Big 10 University in a midwest state is more exciting than this NYC column.

LIkeswords,
I hope you don't mind if I borrow "when bad systems happen to good people" because you nailed it!

I once went out for lunch with co-workers, and got carded by the hostess. Then her boss who was nearby explained that next time if she were to card anyone, it would have to apply to the entire group as to not single one person out. Pretty funny.

Hard to blame her as I look young ^_^, although I was probably older than her.

I wish people would remember that we are all in a recession. Including your waiter, who at my restaurant makes $2.13 an hour.

That, for those with the math issues (seriously?) is slightly over TWO DOLLARS AN HOUR. Half of minimum wage in like, 1998. Plus we get to take our tips and give a portion of that money to the support staff. So if you neglect to tip, the server is paying a portion of their money for you to eat there.

If you have problem with your service/food/whatevs, talk to a manager.

Years ago when I waited table I approached a customer only once about a payment issue but it was when he didn't even leave enough money for the bill much less the tip. He left cash on the table and when I discovered I'd been shorted he and his date were already out the door but as luck had it they were in his (brand new) Corvette waiting for the light to change by the restaurant entrance. I ran out, leaned across the hood (in front of his date) and asked hm if he was ready to pay his entire bill or if I should call the police to report a theft of services incident.

He paid up... was obviously caught in the act (never denied what he had done and also didn't apologize nor did he try to deny his actions)... and left. I'm thinking that his date was not impressed ;-)

i am really shocked and horrified at the idea of approaching a customer regarding their tip.