At a buffet, a couple was commenting on the beautiful garde manger display of vegetables carved into flowers. The lady said, louder than I am sure she intended, "I once saw a chef take a leek...." The whole buffet line cracked up before she could finish her sentence.
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"Can I have the eggplant Parmesan with eggplant instead of veal? I mean! Chicken? And the eggplant?"
It was actually pretty adorable, because it seemed the high-school-age couple was on a first date, and then even funnier was when the young man tried to order wine-- and not just any wine, but white Zin.
Overheard in a fancy restaurant:
"This Wilted Salad just isn't as fresh as I had expected."
While working at a fast food hot dog restaurant in my high school years:
Customer: "So do fries come with the chili cheese fries?"
My date on his first experience with sashimi: Mine was undercooked and a little cold. Do you think we should say something?
Diner at Nobu when asked how his Wagyu beef was: It's alright but could use a little ketchup or something.
Overheard at a chinese place in Houston: Just what exactly is a tofu?
I once overheard a couple arguing over what foie gras actually was. The wife had it right, but the husband INSISTED that the delicacy was the brain of a duck, to which the wife replied, "This is exactly why the kids don't eat out with you!"
When I was a teenager I worked at a fast food place. We were short people one night so the drive-through speaker volume was turned up high so everyone in the kitchen area could hear it since we were all working on both drive-through and dining room orders at once. This unfortunately also meant the people in the dining room could hear it.
Guy drove through and was obviously drunk, ordering very slowly and said he wanted a "bunch" of cheeseburgers. After clarifying that "a bunch" was three, he was asked what he wanted on them. He was mumbling but it was really loud, so everyone in the dining room was listening too, "I dunno, ketchup, mustard..." (pause) "Oh, and PICKLES. A *SHITLOAD* OF PICKLES!" Everyone in the kitchen guffawed and the people in the dining room all either laughed or looked horrified.
"What do you mean they fry the bacon? It's called BAKE-ON. That doesn't make sense!"
I waitressed at a local pizza parlor, and had a customer ask me once if I could have the pizza made with fat-free cheese and fat-free pepperoni.
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Favorite foods: Italian, Sweets, Barbecue,
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