Serious Eats - seriouseats.com

Crusty baguette style bread, sliced lengthwise
Over-ripe tomato squished up and down
So the insides are slathered over the bread
Olive oil generously drizzled over all.
Salt. Pepper.

Wow, I can't believe the date of the original thread and I just signed on to this today! @fatcat is right-it's all relative and I also agree that @hefloats should not be called names and diminished for wondering and asking advice (what is it about this site????).

As it seems this is a very subjective issue. Chairs-my potluck at Christmas has me begging for them ( have 12 and need more for my 25-30 friends-aren't lucky to have so many-friends, that is). I would have a hard time asking for everyone to bring everything from the plates to the ice and then their own main, but that is my age and my income bracket.

However, I would imagine if there are people that never contribute or host and always have their hands out that I would separate myself from them. It is always better to have people think of you as a doer/contributer than as a taker. It is hard to be a giver and never have someone to reciprocate. Toxic relationships and hard feelings. I am lucky that when I have a dinner party or bbq that someone will appreciate that and I will be invited to their homes and have an opportunity to bring my side/beer/wine/chair. I hear you @ tdl1501.

I think that as time passes you will find out who really wants your company at their events and not just your chair. It may take some time to find those people who truly cherish you. Until that time try to be open to as much as you can...serendipity.

We're in a fully-furnished townhome on a short-term basis and left 99% of our stuff in storage 1,500 miles away. If we have a few neighbors over to get to know them better, I've no problem asking them to bring chairs. Normally, I might ask a few close friends for chairs/tables but I prefer small gatherings.

I also prefer to plan the menu and do the prep, cooking and cleanup myself. If there's a great dessert cook coming who wants to bring something, whatever it is will certainly trump my vanilla ice cream with fresh fruit. If I don't know someone well and they offer, I might ask them to bring a salad. Most people show up with something, flowers or a bottle of wine.

One thing I believe is rude is to require each guest to bring their entire meal. Then it truly is a bunch of strangers getting together to use a grill. Where's MY chicken? I need to cook MY veggie burger before any meat is placed on the grill! Ask if your guests have any food allergies. If you've vegeterians add a main or make sure your veggie sides are substantial.

Anyone under two years of age should ask his/her parents to bring the perfect meal for the little darling. As for college and just post-grad, I don't see the harm in budgeting for burgers, dogs, buns and sides, throw in a keg and pay for some of it but perhaps ask guests for $5 per person or so to cut down on the damage. They'll be happy for the party!

That said these are guests entering into a "social contract." If I make a four-course Tuscan meal for eight guests and no-one reciprocates by inviting my husband and I over/out to dinner in six months, those folks aren't on another guest list, period. I don't care if they brought a bottle of Chianti.

Well, the responses to this thread have made obvious that there is no normal and people have different ideas of how things should be done. As someone who recently transitioned from "young and broke" to "30 and still broke" - my ideal situation is this:
- Host provides basics (meat, buns, a side, some drinks i.e., cheaper beers)
- Guests should always ask if they can bring anything, even if they think/know the host will say no.
- If the host does say no, it is still a good idea to bring a 6-pack or bottle of wine or something (for parties thrown by younger people) or a hostess gift (for parties thrown by older people)
- Hosts should be appreciative and almost deferential when accepting the offer of help. I'd have no problem bringing my own lawn chair as long as I were asked nicely (and as long as I actually had one!).
- Anyone with dietary restrictions should be willing to bring something they can eat (i.e., I'm vegetarian, and always will offer to bring the veg burgers because I don't want to pressure the host into fretting over a detail for just one person)

Here's what shouldn't happen:
-The host should never ask for food in the invite (unless you make it clear that it is a potluck)
- The host should never ask guests for money to cover expenses. (Unless you're young and you have a keg. I was always totally cool with throwing in a few dollars towards the community keg in my post-college years.)

And if you find yourself in a jam, it is of course okay to ask for help as long as you do it nicely "We're actually in a bit of a jam and would love it if you could bring a side to help round out the meal" and not "I need you to bring a side." Your guests would rather feel as though they were generous in helping as opposed to feeling as though they were required to bring something.

IF SOMEONE WANTS TO BRING SOMETHING. I SAY BRING IT. IT DOESN'T HURT ANYONE IF SOMEONE WANTS TO BRING SOMETHING ELSE TO EAT OR DRINK. THE MORE THE MERRIER I SAY. IT'S JUST NICER TO HELP OUT. BUT ALOT OF PEOPLE DON'T EVEN BOTHER TO ASK IF IT'S OK TO BRING SOMETHING BUT COME AN EAT AND DRINK EVERYTHING THEY CAN. AND SOMETIMES WHEN IT'S TIME TO GO BUY SOMEMORE STUFF, SOME PEOPLE STEP UP TO HELP WHILE OTHERS JUST SIT BACK AN DO NOTING. IT FIGURES

We lived in L.A. from 1975 til 1987. My wife and I formed an over 35, co-ed softball league. (4 teams) and got a field from the park commission every Friday night and we played 2 games every Friday. We formed some great friendships and had many, many parties. Many of the parties were at our house (we had a pool and a bumper pool table in the garage). Everyone brought what they wanted to drink and a dish of some kind. These get-to-gethers would just happen on the spur of the moment. These were some of the best of times. Dave

Sugarbrown you are toooooooooooo funny...............ditto on Homer!

mmmmmm i love tomatoes on all sandwiches.
I make mine with love :D

Two or three slices of tomato, LOTS of coarsely-ground black pepper, miracle whip on white or wheat bread, not toasted!

1. Milton's Multi-grain bread (companionable flavor + excellent absorbency)
2. Hellman's mayo
3. salt
4. thick slices of zipper-skinned tomatoes (chilled? room temp? meh, doesn't matter to me)

Yeah, this is going to be my dinner tonight....

Toasted pumpernickle, sliced tomatoes, provelone, aoili and romaine lettuce.
Whole grain or crusty/rustic bread, thin layer of dijon mustard, tomato slices sandwiched between thin layers of cheddar and then grilled with a small amount of butter. Also good as an open faced sanwich when broiled with tomato slices on top of the cheese.
BLT. Must have iceberg lettuce.
Caprese style.

Mine's like an Italian hoagie without the meat and cheese: a good crusty sub roll with mayo, lettuce, tomato, thinly sliced onion, oil and vinegar, salt, pepper and oregano. It was back in my vegetarian days that I discovered that I like this sandwich just as well as the meat and cheese version.

I also like an everything bagel with cream cheese, tomato and red onion, but I don't think of that so much as a "tomato sandwich." Delicious, though.

If I had to get all minimalist, I'd just do white toast, mayo and tomato.