sugar ,salt and fat from fast and over proscessed foods make me tired.
the good news is those things in home cooked meals do not. even when you feel like you're adding way to much of these things when you're cooking ,the amounts don't come close to what is added to the crap passed off as food today. watch out for high fructose corn syrup it's in freakin' everything including some health food bars
my dad's 2nd wife cooked thanksgiving dinner and wanted to impress my grandmother. she overcooked the turkey so much it actually split in half!
she cried, we all felt bad , my dad got divorced.
a friend once baked several apple pies for my freshman dorm-mates... his recipe consisted of dumping a bag of white flour, a bag of sugar, and a quart of milk into a stock pot, stirring to mix, and then dumping the lumpy mess into several pie plates. he topped each "crust" (about 1" thick, each of them) with raw sliced apples and more of his dough...they were each about 3 inches thick, completely solid. he baked them for probably an hour and half, patting them down with water throughout the baking time to get them to crisp up... needless to say, i passed on taking a slice.
I was in Hong Kong and the woman had stopped off at the market to get dinner...which was rice and a bucket full of meat. Meat on the bone. Meat that I had no idea what to call. I think it was parts of a pig. Anyhow, I speared the only piece I could see that wasn't clinging to a bone (that would have to be spit back onto the table), I pulled it up to my face...and it was a whole pigs tongue. Gross, right? The creepiest part was, if you've ever bit your tongue, I had to make VERY sure which tongue I was chewing! The texture was the same as my own tongue. The flavor wasn't too bad, though.
Well, two stories. One more MIL story. Sometimes my in-laws seem impressed by my cooking/baking skills and interest in food, and other times a little put off by it. But it seems to make my MIL kind of competitive, and too often, she tries to cook something when we visit. Sadly, this is not a good idea. One meal that I really had to choke down was her incredibly tough beef stew cooked with quantities of parsnips and apples. Weird, and basically inedible. I carry lots of chocolate in my bag when we visit, since I know I'll be hungry in the middle of the night -- and I always hope we're going to either go out for dinner or they'll let us do the cooking...
Story #2: recently, we all flew out to my husband's grandmother's funeral in a small town in Indiana. The kind ladies of the church prepared lunch for the family and friends of the bereaved. It was, of course, that midwestern favorite, *hotdish*. This particular version (also known simply as "casserole") had chicken, rice, celery, cheese, onions, water chestnuts (which came in for lots of "mmmms") -- none of which are bad things, necessary -- but they were bound together with masses of the main ingredient, canned cream soup. It was definitely more canned cream soup than anything else. The side was canned flat green beans with some kind of ham that had been cooked together for a very, very long time. And then there was a selection of box cakes and pies for dessert, all served up with instant lemonade and instant iced tea.
But it was such a kind gesture, I cleaned my plate. I had to, albeit VERY slowly, since the church ladies kept walking around trying to give everyone seconds...
While not an entirely bad meal, it was a strange ending. Dinner was over, and I was helping to clear the table and being generally helpful so I could scope out the impending dessert. This particular hostesss was known for making not-so-good desserts, and I wanted to be there when it was dished out so that I could ask for a small piece or beg off entirely. Or, if it was something other than the usual mystery cake, I might be brave.
She unveiled the cake, and there was a serving sized piece missing from a corner, and she pointed to it and said, "I tried some of this earlier and it isn't too good. It's a new recipe, but I won't make it again. Something was missing."
She said all of this while she was cutting ginormous pieces and plating them up for everyone. I took the opportunity to say that I was completely stuffed from dinner and couldn't eat another bite. I didn't want to find out what she considered "not good" based on how her usual cakes tasted.
But as usual, she didn't ask anyone else if they wanted any, they just got the pieces -- and the sizes -- that she determined each person should have. And yes, she portioned them differently for the different people at the table. Without asking them their preferences.
Greetings:
I have spent the last hour reading posts about the worst meal ever...thx for the great belly laughs. Have not laughed that hard in awhile. Kudos to all
Much like misseditor, it was the mother-in-law's turkey. The poor bird's flesh flaked apart like sawdust. The "stuffing?" came from a box, the potatoes were instant (with no butter, sour cream, salt, or pepper added). Everything (including the veggies) was a tannish-yellow shade of its original color.
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