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Is a Fancy-Pants Burger A Contradiction in Terms?
Mr. Cutlets is somewhat fanatical on the subject of buns. Yes, a basic, cheap-ass hamburger bun can be just right sometimes, but that doesn't mean it can't be improved on. Where a lot of fancy-pants burgers go wrong is in trying too hard. I take no pleasure in eating a burger that sits on a blimplike brioche so tall you need the detachable jaw of a python to bite into it. If a chef wants something fancier than a regular bun, fine, but they should keep in mind that it's not about the visuals. Eventually, somebody's going to have to eat the damn thing.
Eatability in general is my biggest issue with fancypants burgers. If the meat is too thick, again, it's hard to eat it without the aid of a knife and a fork. That silliness at db is Public Enemy Number One in this regard. It defies all the principles of eatability.
Why do most birthday cakes suck?
I don't know if I'm prepared to say that all birthday cakes suck, but without a doubt most of the layer cakes you can buy in NYC do. Some of them may LOOK great but they just do not deliver. The cake itself is either dry and crumbly or gummy; the frosting is all too often either a grainy sugary mess or a wad of wax that sticks to the roof of your mouth until your next birthday.
I agree completely about Two Little Red Hens; I served ten of their cakes at my wedding and people were very happy. Before we bought them, my wife and I ran all over New York sampling layer cakes (we didn't even get into the "wedding cake" scam) and we were depressed and disappointed over and over until we got to the Little Red Hens. Why do people support bakeries that turn out sub-par cakes? I can only speculate that because cake is now a once-or-twice-a-year occasion, people don't eat it often enough to be discerning. It's like the roast turkey at Thanksgiving--sure, everybody knows it's dry as sandpaper, but most of them have never know it any other way, and they can put up with it once a year.
The red velvet cake at Cakeman Raven in Fort Greene is a lovely thing but the employees there are, in my experience, flakey. I wouldn't want to rely on them if I absolutely needed a cake for a special occasion--which a birthday, by definition, is.
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Bux, I'm sure Bill Telepan, Geoffrey Zakarian, David Burke and Bobby Flay will be delighted to hear they're not first-class chefs!
I agree with you that the flavor of the db burger is its most successful aspect. But why did Boulud have to dress it up like a burger when it doesn't eat like a burger? It's not a successful dish. It's a press release on a plate.