Profile

Pavlov

You ever seen Brad Pitt? Yeah... nothing like him. I blog about all things food, sometimes positive, sometimes not....but always no bullshit.

  • Website
  • Location: Portsmouth, NH
  • Favorite foods: That's like asking which of your kids you like better! Most anything really...NO, SERIOUSLY most anything.
  • Last bite on earth: Some kind of meat washed down with some kind of liquor...or if there's no meat...more liquor.

Manner Matters: Hands off My Cake

An immediate shanking between the 4th and 5th rib...preferably with the end of a toothbrush thats been sharpened to a fine point on concrete. Shy of that I suppose a table knife would also work...but please do not attempt this action with a demitasse spoon.

Onions and digestive issues.

This distress is probably due to an imbalance of bodily humors and probably caused by a small toad or gnome living in your stomach. What I suggest is a good bleeding followed by 4 intense sessions of bi-weekly leechings...and maybe a good shave.

Sincerely,
Theodoric of York ~ MB (Midieval Barber)

Ideas for egglant puree other than baba ghanoush

toothpaste?! yeah... probably not... I'll keep thinking on that one...

What food would you miss most as a vegan?

stuff with a face.

I'm quitting the site

Don't let the door hit ya where the good lord split ya.

Headed Cross Country, Need Suggestions!

You'd be doing yourself a disservice if you didn't stop in the #Lou #StL... too many serious places to eat to mention... but if you have thoughts on what you'd be eating or time I can give you a ton of food for thought.

What won't you allow in your kitchen/pantry?

The only thing I wouldn't allow in my pantry is a person who believes there's something that doesn't belong in a pantry.

Gone-but-not-forgotten local joints of your youth

@CandiRisk.... are you still in the Portsmouth NH area? I wish there was a place in the area now that did a good chopped liver! I do know of some good paté!

Pre-cooked bacon: Where's the fat gone?

The bacon fat from pre-cooked bacon goes to hell...and it drags the bacon and the people who eat it to hell with it. Don't use pre-cooked bacon. 18-22 minutes for thick cut bacon on a sheet pan in the oven at 400 F is not hard... unless you're just trying to make burgers juuuuuuuust barely as good as everyone else. If that's the case then why bother?! I'm with @MeatGuy... you have to die of something... I'm just hoping mine is sex related, and topped with bacon and/or bacon fat.

Best Kept Secret Steak

Is spam a steak?!

British foods to bring to US friends?

Definitely chocolate bars, biscuits and crisps. I'd say Tea but most stores now carry PG Tips or Lyon Gold Blend. World Market has cured my craving for Coleman's mustard, and you can also find tinned puddings as well as spotted dick.

Dear Local Pizzeria: Ranch is NOT Tuscan.

Ranch, or as I like to call it... "Southern Ketchup" is finding it's way into everything. When I lived in Alabama I saw it used for everything from baked potatoes to wing sauce.

Let not your heart be troubled @Kenji, I truly believe this is just a reminder of how insulated we (by we I mean people who care about the food industry and quality food products.) are. We surround ourselves with like minded people, then when we stumble upon "Tuscan Ranch Pizza" we're shocked. We shouldn't be, because places like Taco Bell are pumping out shit-tastic dorito taco's by the millions and people recognize this as "Mexican" food.

So much so that actual Mexican restaurants run and owned by actual Mexicans don't have something as simple as maybe roast pork, white onion, lime juice and cilantro on a charred corn tortilla, (what few people would recognize as a taco) but rather smother a flour tortilla with orange colored ground mystery meat, smother it with salsa, iceberg lettuce, yellow cheddar and FFS...sour cream!

So a pizzaria taking liberties with fried chicken, bacon and ranch on pizza hardly seems like a stretch. It's all about keeping up with the "dollar menus" and "Value Meal Mentality" that perpetuates this kind of food horror.

So just when you think things are going in the right direction because you saw rock tripe and pine candles on a menu, look out....cause some asshole's looking to double down with a ketchup, funyon and peep pizza.

How To Make Real Barbecue at Home with Hill Country Chef Elizabeth Karmel

I love all BBQ regardless of origin if it's done well. That being said, now that I've experienced the Ribalizer, I rearely go out anymore.... before that I thought a puppy and a jar of Skippy were the shit.

This Week at Serious Eats World Headquarters

@Teachertalk... I'm not sure how you misconstrued what I wrote? I'm with you guys... MORE ANIMALS! Just cute fluffy animals all the time.... I hate it when food gets in the way. And seriously if we could just make the site one XXXL slideshow, that would be awesome too....Have it so the visitors have to click through 20 puppy pictures to see anything food related.

And can I just say thank heavens we've gotten rid of the last of the great writers this site once had. Now we can focus on Puppies, ignoring social media and stepping up the lackluster writing efforts. Now if only we could get rid of talk and the community altogether, we might just have something.

This Week at Serious Eats World Headquarters

You should take out the ugly food pictures and pictures of awful people and maybe throw in a vine video of purring kittens...The dogs are nice, but I'm starting to think there's a cat hater amongst you. It would go well with the "we pander to animal lovers" theme and would get you more pageviews.

While you're at it maybe change the site's name to seriouslycuteanimals.com, and then bring in baby ferrets, bunnies, hamsters (in a ball or on a wheel of course)etc...This would serve two purposes, 1 you could bring in things like carrots, and herbs for animal food filling the whole "sure there's food in this site for all the dimwits who come for that narrow minded sort of thing" and 2... they're cute as hell FFS!

Also, could someone please explain to me why there aren't more articles on baking/cooking for our pets? I mean damn, what kind of heartless bastards are you to constantly push food for humans and completely ignore our cute furry friend's needs? I mean honestly, animals are people too.

Cocktail 101: How to Cut Citrus Wedges

@Michael Dietsch ... Thanks for the congrats, but in fairness I wrote 659 words regarding the silly subject. I wrote 483 words in response to another comment. I am however flattered that you took the time to not only read my thoughts, but you also went the extra mile to count "about" the number of words I used.

Unfortunately you're incorrect with regard to my writing 659 words for free as I wrote it over the course of my work day. So not only did I get paid for writing my thoughts on the expository piece, but I also got paid to write a response to the "unappreciative" commenter.

In the "for what it's worth" file... I'd like to say that I enjoy your writing and your style. My thoughts on citrus wedges are not in any way reflective of my thoughts on your writing specifically, but rather on the subject matter itself. I find your writing to be informative, interesting and I apologize if you took my thoughts as a personal affront.

There... now we can be friends again.

Sincerely,
Pavlov

A Serious Eater vs. college food.

College is what you're supposed to look back on and lament about all the awful food you ate. @Double_J probably said it best "Hack your ramen". Back in the day we called it "cooking funk" but didn't know the joys of Sriracha or fish sauce. The craziest thing you could get in the Asian food aisle of the grocery store in rural NH was La Choy chow mein in a can!

I have eaten everything from egg shells to a dead lobster and drank beer out of someone's barn boot. Were these all good experinces? No, but it's preferable to telling your grandchildren about an excellent steak tartare you had as a Freshman.

You should instead be telling them stories out of earshot of "grandma" about pizza you had of questionable provinance you got from a convenience store at 3 am before going home with a woman of even more questionable moral fiber. Then upon awaking a day and a half later, leaning on the grace and mercy of friends and aquaintences to help you piece the events of the previous adventure together. What was up with the goat, and where did the prosthetic eye come from?

Trust me you'll get to know the good pizza joints and hell maybe even educate your fellow classmates on the virtues of good pizza. Good pizza being what it is tends to come at a premium so you'll get to start using your education in real world situations. Chances are you will be learning about such things as economies of scale and the thought process will go thusly.

If we all chip in and get the good pizza and the good beer we will all get one slice of pizza and maybe 2 beers. If we all chip in and get the broke-assed pizza and the broke-assed beer...we will all have full stomachs plus breakfast. As an ancillary benefit to having plenty of beer, you will have stories to tell the grandkids about "how I tried to fight all my dorm mates", "was a gentleman and held a girls hair while she took the toilet for a spin", and "nearly got grandma's best friend pregnant."

Don't worry, you'll have plenty of time to focus on great food... probably when your about 70 after having paid off your student loans, your mortgage, put 4 kids through that same damned college, Well 31/2 kids, because Junior thinks he's a rock star and quit his junior year to run off to CA to become the next Dave Matthews (or insert whatever awful singer you want here), bought more throw pillows throw rugs and window treatments (that's the expensive way your wife will say shades) than you care to think about, gym memberships, insurance premiums, and Car Payments.

By then however, you're just going to want some peace and quiet. You'll be on your way to the grocery store across town because it's 15 minutes of extra silence. On the way there you're going to see that sausage stand you used to eat at in college and smell those peppers and onions mixed with wonderful spiced charred sausage and you're going to realize you didn't miss out on the "good food", because sometimes food is as much about the experience and the company as it is about the actual food.

Enjoy your freshman year!

Pav

Cocktail 101: How to Cut Citrus Wedges

@Salaranth ... it's because I went too far with the stickers bit wasn't it... dammit I knew that would be too much.

Also, you were fascinated to learn a slit could be cut into the end of a lemon and then that slit could be utilized to stand a lemon on its end?! Really?!

Well my friend, allow me to enlighten you on some other uses for our friend the lemon:

Lemon juice added to water can keep thinks like apple slices or artichokes from turning brown.

A lemon wedge thrown into the garbage disposal will help keep it smelling fresh.

Using duct tape and lemons you can fashion a fairly inexpensive helmet that will protect your head should you accidentally walk into a wall or go head first into the top half of a Dutch door.

Adding a lemon to the inside of each shoe will act as a lift if your date is taller than you. It's not a great lift but at least it's better than being really short and having smelly feet.

In a pinch lemon curd could be utilized as an impromptu under-arm deodorant.

Lemon juice added to a mixed drink laced with cyanide will cover up that tell-tale almond smell, and the wife will finally be able to run away with her tennis instructor Estaban.

Lemons are great for keeping the neighbors kids out of your yard. Don't believe me?! A child won't soon forget a Nolan Ryan Expressed lemon to the side of their squash. The downside to this elephant like memory will be seen on Halloween and you're stomping out a flaming bag of dog shit on your porch.

Lemons are great for babies...actually I don't know if that's true... but have a video camera and a youtube channel available because I don't give a damn who you are, nothing is funnier than watching a baby suck on a lemon for the first time... (Pro Tip: Have a kitten walking around in the background and that video is going more viral than herpes)

Just so we're clear using lemon in an actual drink you're going to serve humans should be avoided at all costs as it tends to mask the alcohol taste that reminds us of what the hell we're drinking it for in the first place...to get drunk!

We get drunk so we can forget how much we need to shell out for Timmy's braces, the Great Dane's nerve pills cause it turns out a dog larger than some small horses is afraid of loud noises, or for the Visa bills we're getting now showing us that the next time we get "In the Christmas Spirit" maybe we should just go ahead and tell Burl Ives to stick Holly Jolly Christmas up his arse!

Lastly @Salanth... lighten up... I wasn't attacking anyone, I was just having fun with a silly subject. Toodles! XXOO

Pav

Cocktail 101: How to Cut Citrus Wedges

Bravo... thanks so much for doing this SE! This would have seemed out of reach or even impossible before this tutorial. I do however have a few questions:

What if I don't own a knife? Can I do this with say, a laser pointer or a grapefruit spoon?

I noticed you didn't show a lime cut into 64 pieces (just an observation). I'm guessing my hopes of pulling off even the "24" maneuver thing is as unatainable as bagging a 12 point unicorn.

I'd say the benefits of having a lime cut into 24 pieces would be so the barkeep could maintain a nice clean tumb from the acid in the cirtus, and you'd get the benefit of getting a taste of whatever that finger touched last... essence of Marlboro, whatever was on that nasty POS screen and nose sqeezins.

Can this same technique be applied to other things such as a potato or an onion?

Where would one purchase something as exotic as a lime or a lemon?

I haven't seen these in the circle K down the street... must be a New York thing with all your "fancy foods".

If I do find these would it be a good garnish for say, zucchini milk?

I noticed you used a cutting board...can this be done on something less flat like perhaps a Zebra's hind quarters?

Is a jaunty angle the opposite of a right angle? I was never very good with geometry...it's all good, I was probably out the day they taught jaunty angles anyway.

I noticed you took the stickers off... if you're going to throw those away I'd like to have them as I collect stickers in a bag next to my bag of toenail clippings. It'd be quite the coup to get something as exotic as lemon or lime stickers.

I'm so glad you washed the fruit well before peeling the stickers off, I like a clean sticker as much as the next person...

Did you get a chance to clean the underside of the sticker or will I have to clean that myself?

What about the peel under the sticker, did that get washed or was it sterilized before they put the sticker on it?

If you are lucky enough to have a knife and you peel that nasty sticker off with it...do you have to throw the knife away?

You had an experience with a sticker being on the fruit in your drink not once, but twice in Providence?! Damn I thought the bartender knocking a 3" cockroach off the side of my beer glass in Houston was a horrifying experience... good thing I take my beer sans fruit.

I'm not sure if you know this but if you take the seeds away there will be nothing left to clog up the end of the straw if it goes into a diet coke...I think this could be fixed however by not putting a lemon in a diet coke. Although I'm positive Lemons probably have no flavor and don't make a diet coke taste... oh I don't know.... lemony. So keep throwing them in there anyway, this probably never pisses a customer off that would rather have an additional straw in the drink as opposed to fruit.

Also, if I had a knife I'm not sure how comfortable I'd be cutting off the ends... that seems rather cruel. I'll bet there's a special place in hell for you "Citrus Aesthetic" types.

Thanks again for all your help in the mysterious world of fruit wedging...I'm breathlessly waiting for what will come next, how to stem cherries, cocktail onions: to spoon or not to spoon, "Ice: The lost recipe", Our friend grenadine, The coasters aren't just a 50's R&B group, Pouring Beer: Up yours baristas!, Water with Lemon-a.k.a.-This is gonna be a huge tip...

I was going to go practice on a turnip, but the damned Cat stole the laser pointer. OH LOOK... A RED DOT!

In Our Community Corner: Meet Michael Therieau (aka: 'Pavlov')

@Teachertalk you're so very kind, thank you very much. No I was saying I'd like to cook with my father... we watched "The French Chef" on TV before he would go to work in the afternoon when I was a kid. I think it was what motivated me to cook, and one cooking experience begat another until it snowballed into me finally making it to culinary school. So I'd say my father was instrumental (read: to blame) for me getting involved in such a crazy industry. I rarely come here anymore but feel free to follow the link under my mugshot and you can read my food rants anytime you'd like. http://pavlovscorner.wordpress.com/ My latest bit is on Route 11 Potato Chips. I'm glad you enjoyed my musings:-)

Where (oh where) has my fake BFF Will Gordon gone?

@bobcatsteph3 your first three words said it all. "This is Tragic." I now have zero reason to come to this site. Now I can go write my "Fare Thee Well" letter to SE. C'iao.

I would like info on the snap of a hot dog in reviews

for me personally, I need to know A) Does it have a casing or not and B) method of cooking... I'm just afraid a "Snap-O-Meter" is just too subjective... but what the heck do I know?! LOL

WFO Dream Job--I'm in mine finally, what's yours?

Knee jerk, taking inventory for a blind liquor store owner would be my dream job... seriously, writing about where food comes from and from behind the scenes in a restaurants showing people how it's prepared... so I'm half way there.

Will it melt?

DOH! and that should have read "particular viscosity" in the second to last paragraph.... I don't want to confuse anyone! Although calculating a "particular velocity" can be done....

Will it melt?

Can you calculate the surface to mass ratio, the R-value of the container, the air temperature of the following... the inside of the ice cream freezer, the regular average air temp of the grocery store, (a mean average would be fine) The air temp of the outside, the air temp of the bus and average time spent and distance traveled in each.

I need the core temperature of the ice cream, it's density and viscosity as well as the sugar content represented as a percentage. Was it plain ice cream (i.e. vanilla or were there chunks or swirls) If there are chunks I need to know what they were along with the density/size/temperature of each.

I need to know what it was carried in and a rough r-value assigned to the carrying device as well as the volume of said device and relative air temp. I also need to know if the device has a handle or was it carried with your hand underneath it... if we are talking about a bag this will make a difference and also did you set it in your lap or hug it close to your body, if so what kind of clothing (type of fabric) was it and how thick as this will need to assigned and R-value as well.

Also, what was your estimated body temperature at the time (i.e. if you had a cold it may have been elevated), had you been touching anything cold? What was put in your carrying device and what were the insulating properties/Density/relative internal temperatures/surface to mass ratio of each item? (For instance an item such as a newspaper would have an insulating property to it as opposed to canned goods or heaven forbid a rotisserie chicken.)

The last information to determine how long your ice cream will last before melting will be, how windy was it? (if I can get this in kph it would be preferrable to mph)What kind of surfaces were you walking on? (concrete, asphalt and tile all have different emissivity ratings and reflective properties.)

Would you say it was sunny outside? If it was sunny, please give the amount of sun represented as a percentage. (i.e. 50% representing partly sunny) With this information I'd say I could give you a reasonable time before the inner core of ice cream reached a particular velocity.

You'll probably notice I didn't ask what color the tile was in the grocery store, but I didn't want you to think I was getting crazy with details. I think if you can get me this information I can give you a reasonable amount of time your ice cream would last. Should any of the variables change however... you're shit outta luck.

Animal Slaughter...Have you?! Would you?!

Have you ever slaughtered an animal? Have you ever witnessed the slaughter of an animal? If you have done neither of the aforementioned...would you be willing to do one or the other?

I see people all the time cringing at the sight of such things as Fish served whole, Ducks with their heads still attached, roast suckling pig, pig's feet, etc...

If you're a vegetarian/vegan I would understand a "no thank you" to all three questions and what you might find cringe-worthy about seeing the aforementioned dishes.

The problem I have is that most of the people I see, who are finding this "disturbing" are omnivores. I guess they must think meat magically happens with meat seeds, a little water, styrofoam and plastic wrap. How have we managed to become so far removed?

It's time to remove our heads from our collective three point contacts. Understand animal slaughter happens and understand the process. If you did you'd most likely be more selective about where your meat comes from, the amount you buy and the cuts you select.

If you find this depressing or disturbing I'm sorry to be a buzzkill.... please, feel free to continue with your cranial rectal inversion.

A LITTLE LOVE?

I couldn't help notice community members promote SE twitter articles a lot, and yet at the same time....I don't know if I can recall ever seeing SE Retweet or #FF for anyone in the community.

Other sites do a great job promoting their members, and it would seem to make sense. The more you promote the ones who promote you...means more Kool-Aid being drunk. I'm not asking for just my self, but for all community members.

One Love!

SUSHI BLUES

Sushi, if it is of the highest quality and fresh it should be amazing, a treat for the eyes and mouth, delicious, colorful, it offers a great variety of fish and styles, so it's versatile and yet...I just don't get it.

The fact is I've never disliked sushi. I'm even quite positive I've had good sushi, which is to say fresh and doesn't smell like a chum bucket or a bag of arse.

I have had sushi many times both as an appetizer, and as an entire meal. I have never had "bad" sushi, as eating raw fish is something I take pretty seriously. Well seriously enough that bargain sushi has always seemed a bit dubious to me.

I'd rather spend a few bucks extra for a place with a good reputation for sushi instead of a few dozen hours sweating, delirious and in a conundrum as to which end of my body I should be pointing at a commode.

Sushi tastes really good... but as an entire meal it just tastes of roughly the same textures and roughly the same flavors bite after bite. So to me it translates to palate fatigue...a term I had heard since culinary school but never really thought applied to anything until eating sushi.

So like I said it's not that I don't like sushi, I guess I just don't know sushi. No, I didn't have California rolls, and no I didn't have anything with cream cheese in it for all you naysayers out there. (Although I have before at one of "the best" sushi restaurants in Knoxville, TN...a proverbial hotbed of great sushi restaurants)

This was legitimate sushi from a legitimate sushi place where the people preparing it weren't named Kip or Ned. I can eat it fine, and it tastes fine... I just don't want it for an entire meal.

I'll be the first one to admit that I don't know all there is to know about sushi, and would be open to going for sushi with my Asian friends given the opportunity...as long as they're open to me being a bit ignorant and out of my depth with regards to Asian cuisine...and aren't afraid to pass the sake!

Thoughts, favorite styles, favorite fish?

YELP NO!

I ate at a sandwich shop in Parsippany, NJ this week that I liked so much I decided to write about it. I was asking the owner a few questions and afterwards told him I would be writing a piece about his establishment. He said, "hey that's great... you mean on yelp?!" I asked if he liked yelp, and he said it sometimes brings additional business so it's pretty good. Well here's what I think...

I think for the most part, Yelp is a collection of self-important self-obsessed ego maniacal pinheads....with a few exceptions. Ok maybe that's a bit on the rough side. Let's say it's fifty-fifty. I once had the app thinking it would be handy to have and use in different cities. I would try it here and there but noticed recurring themes...

"I've decided to upgrade them from 2 to 3 stars as they fixed the ice machine this week." Or "The salsa seemed a bit less chunky and as a result I'm going to give 3 instead of 4 stars." Um, Yelpers...shut your Yaps!

When I'm looking for a good fried chicken joint in say, Nashville... the last thing I want to have to do is decide what kind of day Buffy T. was having when she gave 2 stars to the place I was thinking of going to, only to find at the end of her tirade she wasn't given enough wet naps, and thus the rating! Buffy, take a valium wrap it in a wet nap and stick it up....oh never mind.

Half of the folks on there seem fairly even keeled, but the others may have advanced delusionary schizophrenia with involuntary fits of narcissistic rage a la "Me Myself and Irene". Either way it skews the ratings to the point it's more trouble than it's worth and left me with less than a confident feeling. Why is this place rating 4 stars... did Tiny T. have a good week at the plant, Judy G. finally kick the painkillers?

Regardless, I'd probably do just as well walking around with two bent coat hangers trying to divine which places were worth going to than using this awful app. Why do some of these folks take themselves so seriously? Why is Yelp so Yawful?

WHITE PLAINS/ NEW HYDE PARK , LONG ISLAND...RECS.

I'll be in both White Plains and New Hyde Park the next 1.5-2 weeks.... anybody near for a meet up/ tutoring session on where to eat in either? I'm also planning on getting into the city one or two weekends.

Looking for ethnic markets, cheap eats, ethnic food of all kinds, street food..... just one or two favs, or a must see would be greatly appreciated.....Thanks!

FATHERS DAY FOOD MEMORIES...

On Fathers Day every year before going to play golf with Dad... we would always have a simple lunch. Our favorite thing to have was grilling the living hell out of Hot Dogs (I'm talking good n charred here people) and then eating them plain in a new england style roll that had been grilled lightly.

What food memories do you have with your Dad?

KNOXVILLE TN...I'M COMIN, TO YOUR CITY!

I am done with my chefs job in NH and will be taking a job in Knoxville, TN that will last two years. I have been trying to find everything foodwise that is good and decent about the town, but have not found a lot.

Does anybody here know a thing or three about Knoxville, TN... restaurants, grocery stores, farmers markets, farms, etc...?

I am aware Benton Hams/Bacon is in Madisonville...Can I get an Amen!

I have heard good things About Soccer Taco (except for the name)

Aside from that it seems a bit empty for such a large town....HELP!

Oh, almost forgot...I'm SHOUTING in the title...so sorry, to those with sensitive eyes.

I GOT YOUR CARD...RIGHT HERE!

I was at a grocery store today I rarely visit to pick up a few things on the way home. I get to the checkout and got the standard "Did you find everything you were looking for?"...to which I always reply, "This was all the free stuff I could find" *fake laugh* Then I hear "Do you have our super duper savings card?" or whatever it's called....Then I remember why I stopped going to this grocery store. ...Am I not as valuable a customer?

I used to have enough grocery, frequent flyer, credit, debit, hotel, video rental, coffee, restaurant, valued customer cards to make a credit card walkway from New Hampshire to Duluth!

I know "Sheeple" (thanks for that word @Monkii), I can hear you all now, "just fill out the card", "everybody's doin it", "You can save a lot of money that way"....F#$k them, and you (If you're one of them), in the ear!

I go to several grocery stores on a regular basis and none of them have, or ask for a card...they give me the same pricing as anybody else who patronizes their store. When I go to the store that requires a card, I feel I need to:
A) Wear a tinfoil hat.
B) Watch my purchases...alcohol 6 times this week Mr. Pavlov?

Besides, whenever they ask me if I have the card, I always tell them I left it at home and they just swipe theirs...Really?!... What was the point of asking me in the first point...

How do you feel about using "Value Cards" at the grocery store? Are you like me.... or will you die of dehydration because the drinking fountain went dry?

CINCY STYLE CHILI, WHAT'S IT GOOD FOR?!

I have a good friend from Cincy bringing me a half gallon of his home made Cincinnati style chili...aside from the obvious 3-5 way spaghetti and perhaps on a Mettwurst (Love the Metts!) or hot dog.... What else can I put this liquid love on?!

I was thinking Burrito's or maybe as a pizza sauce.... Holla!...Errr... HOLLA!

"KATE THE GREAT" IS BACK...PRETTY STOUT!

I don't know where the time goes, but it's that time of year again at the Portsmouth Brewery, Portsmouth NH when they do a limited release of their Russian Imperial Stout "Kate the Great". What's the big deal?

Kate the Great was named the #2 beer on the planet, and #1 in the USA...that's right...Portsmouth in the HOUSE!!!

As far as good beers go...Which breweries are making heros and which are making zeros, and what are they?

HELA CURRY GEWURZ KETCHUP SCHARF...HEILIG SCHEIßE!!

I just know I may be way late to the party on this one, and in truth, there are probably some German folks reading this and laughing as this may be a product in Germany akin to Velveeta here in the U.S.A.

I want to shout to the world in wonderment and extol the miracle that is curried ketchup. I found this while on a shopping excursion to Karl's Sausage Kitchen in Saugus MA yesterday. Well, I didn't find it so much as a I ... remembered it. A friend of mine whose wife was born in Germany always had this product in their pantry and I never thought to ask about it or even taste it. So I figured I'd pick up a bottle to check out.... now I wished I had gotten 6!

I had some with the Brats I had bought and also on some fresh Kielbasa I picked up while I was there.... In a word, Delicious!

I had tried the Heinz version before, but was not impressed. Have any of you tried this before? I know there are other brands out there, so what are your favorites? More importantly, what can't you eat this stuff with?

Danke für deine Zeit!

HOW OFTEN DO YOU GO, AND HOW LONG DO YOU STAY IN THERE?!

HEHE... NOPE, But I know exactly what you were thinking.... dirty bastages....

The Grocery Store... I go there almost every day and am there for a minimum of 30 minutes, if it's a grocery store I am not familiar with and they have nice produce or seafood/meat counters etc... I'll stay for an hour or better....

So how about you? How often do you do it, and how long can you go for?

I know, I know... you just can't help yourselves...

A LITTLE OR A LOTTA HELP?

I love...no...LOOOOVE, going to the grocery store. I go almost daily and know most of the staff by name. They in turn know my culinary background and my love of all things food.

When stumped for an answer to a specific food application the staff often send folks my way if I'm seen in the store to help them with their conundrum.

I love this sort of interaction with people and food and after 5, 10, 15 minutes of educating them on specific uses for the ingredient, historical significance of the item, websites they might find useful, books on the subject etc... I see the eyes glaze over and then the 1000 yard stare comes up. Incidentally, 1000 yards is almost exactly how far away anyone is that I went to the store with in the first place, and looking to hang themselves in the magazine isle!

I wished I could help myself limit the information, but I have resigned myself to the fact that it is hopeless... I get so excited whenever I see someone take an interest in food and I want to fan the flames.

How much information do you give in these situations? Is there a funny story about anyone asking for advice on a product? Did you ever give advice on a product or item then realise you F*!#ed up?

P.S. Not looking for a 12 step program here... I'm gonna keep on dumping knowledge on poor unsuspecting people whether they like it or not... just want to see if I'm alone here...Now where in blue blazes did that damned cat go?

AAAARRRRRGGGGGHHHHHH!!!!!!!

SWEET JESUS IN SATIN PANTS! The comments are not posting, I have made comments on several different topics... some of my comments were even clean and informative! So where are they?! I know the wonderful staff at SE are working on several related things and for that, I thank you. I guess I don't understand why the need for "Page breaking" the comments or futzing with something that didn't seem broken.

Are you being held captive while people mess the site up while forcing you to eat vienna sausages and twinkies?... Blink once for yes and twice for no....I'll wait...

WHERE THE HELL DID _ _ _ _ _ _ _ GO?!

It was rolling up on New Years Eve and I have this tradition of just eating junk food from years past. After doing all the regular favorites (pizza rolls, frozen pot stickers, chicken wings etc...) I added what I figured to be a nice little something from my childhood that I hadn't eaten in probably 10 odd years.

CLAM DIP, yep... anyone over 30 who grew up in New England can tell you the wonders of clam dip. It was at every family event from weddings to funerals and everything else in between. So I went to where the pre made dips are, and to my horror, no clam dip! They had all the also ran dips, French Onion, Bacon Horseradish... even had one I don't remember, Ranch flavored dip?! WTF, the Ketchup of the south is also in dip form?!

Anyways, Where the hell is the Clam Dip, and what else can't you find anymore?!

SERIOUS EATS CHATS?

I took a survey the other day regarding SE and they asked for feedback on what I'd like to see happen in the future with SE's site and it got me to thinking about other things I love to see regarding interactivity here...

When I see someone post something that makes me think, "Hey I need to know more" Or "I need to speak just to that person", wouldn't it be nice to be able to send that person some sort of message to a mailbox/message center?

Also...

Sometimes it's nice to have a bit of time to think about a response, or to get peoples feedback as it relates to that dinner you're going to have in 3 weeks.... But what about that roast that is looking funky now, for tonight's dinner?! Wouldn't some sort of chat dialogue area be nice?

I'm not a fan of IM's so much, but having info faster or more timely may make for broader appeal to SE as opposed to the old bulletin board postings...

@AK, is this something that has been discussed?

What does everyone else think?!

HAM BANANA...MMMMMM...SO BANHAMALICIOUS!

I never have posted a recipe before, but I was over my mother's the other day and was looking through her cookbook "Standard Family Cookbook, De Luxe Edition" I believe the 1959 edition but the page is missing.

This cookbook was a wedding present to my mother and I have flipped through it from time to time since I was a child. I hadn't done this in a while so I deceided to give it a go while visiting last week and stumbled across what may be the oddest recipe I personally have ever seen...

CLUELESS ON A SIMPLE SIDE FOR ASIAN PORK DUMPLINGS.

In culinary school I had the benefit of 2 whole weeks of Asian cooking and cuisine. WOW, 2 whole weeks for little ole Asia?! Yep, from Vietnam, China, Thailand, to Japan in just 2 weeks... crazy I know, but they were more about French technique and cuisine.

I picked up some dumpling wrappers yesterday at a local Asian market which I mistakenly called round won ton wrappers and the lovely older woman nearly snapped... "NO, WON TONS ARE SQUARE WRAPPERS, NOT ROUND!" I just thought it was cute and quite telling of my limited experience

That being said, I'd love some ideas on a simple side that may go well with pork dumplings. I was hoping for a simple rice dish but I am open to anything. Oh yes, and to make it that much harder on you kind people, My wok is useless as I have only an induction topped electric stove at my apartment.

Thanks in advance!
Pav

STUFFING: TO CRUNCH, OR NOT TO CRUNCH?

I was reading the thread "Age Old Question", and I noticed a lot of folks out there are looking for pillowy soft, ultra moist stuffing.

Growing up in New Hampshire, Mom was always striving for the perfect Norman Rockwell Thanksgiving. So naturally she stuffed the bird. The one thing I remember about the stuffing aside from the fact it was good, was how it was a full on scrum to get the crunchy outer part and one or two were left with the inner stuffing.

I don't stuff my bird, but when I cook my stuffing (Cornbread with spicy sausage, dried cherries and apple. Butter and Mirepoix added of course) I finish it with the foil off to get a serious crust on the top.

Am I Alone?!

WHAT WOULD YOU DO FOR A ________?!

Stupid is as stupid does, goes the adage. I was in New Hampshire for an extended period of time on business about 2 years ago. Not bad, if you're looking to get your fill of Maple products, not so good if you're looking for Serious BBQ.

I had gone to a so-called "Famous" BBQ joint that just didn't do it for me. I wanted MY BBQ, Mike-n-Ed's in Phenix City, AL. I called them to have some shipped up, but they said at the time they didn't have a source for dry ice. Undaunted, I told them to go ahead and ship it with regular ice in a styrofoam cooler. Yes, I did pay a king's ransom...(next day shipping was about $175 bucks the BBQ was about $40) But more importantly, I GOT MY QUE!

What crazy price did you pay? What firey hoop did you jump through to get your food fix? What was it?

AHHH FOOD SCIENCE...*eh hem~ chuckle*

Reading the topic "Food Sensitive" and someone using the term "food science" made me think....

From the folks who brought you "Margarine is so much better for us than butter" and other such definitive statements.... What are we really learning today that will still hold true tomorrow?

Food science is good and valuable, but why are we willing to follow every new notion of "this is good, that is bad"?

HOLY S***, RAW?!

I was at a cookout with a group of close friends in Maine last weekend. There was the traditional July 4th cookout fare of hot dogs, burgers, wings etc...

A buddy of mine started throwing some nice natural casing hot dogs on the grill. Before he could get them all down, l I grabbed one and took a nice big bite and chomped away happily. He looked at me as though I had bitten the head off a fluffy kitten said, "HOLY S***, RAW?!"

Who else eats uncooked hot dogs? What other foods do you eat uncooked/raw that others might find odd?

WINEMAKERS ON CREATE... KISS MY @$$...

I Was watching The Winemakers on Create, and saw a buttload of pretentious asses talking about wine.

I enjoy a good glass of wine now and again. I also know what I like with different foods. These shitheels were acting as though the enjoyment of wine was a specific science with only one answer. I feel as though these are the type of folks who keep people from enjoying a nice glass of wine.

What are your thoughts on the show or about people who feel only they know wine, and you are an uneducated tool...

WINEMAKERS ON CREATE... KISS MY @$$...

I Was watching The Winemakers on Create, and saw a buttload of pretentious asses talking about wine.

I enjoy a good glass of wine now and again. I also know what I like with different foods. These shitheels were acting as though the enjoyment of wine was a specific science with only one answer. I feel as though these are the type of folks who keep people from enjoying a nice glass of wine.

What are your thoughts on the show or about people who feel only they know wine, and you are an uneducated tool...

Extra Crispy Duck Fat-Fried Fingerling Potatoes

There are three keys to getting extra crunchy fried potatoes: First, you've got to cook them for long enough to allow the gluey starch inside the cells to dissolve and work on the cell walls, gluing them into a thicker, more robust shape. Secondly, you've got to heat their surface in order to dehydrate and crisp them. Finally, you have to maximize the surface area, giving the potatoes more places to crisp up. More

You live where?

I've been a SE follower for a few months or so, and have gotten to know several of the regular posters by name. Is there a way to tell where everyone lives...not addresses, just by state or large city? I... More