Serious Eats - seriouseats.com

it sounds as if the problem is as much how his pickiness presents itself Vs the actual fact of the pickiness.
you need to negotiate how he goes about tasting and reacting. instead of filling his plate hiding the uneaten, he should take a bite only, then only take more of what he will actually eat. He also must accept that if he rejects what's for dinner, he makes his own substitute.

You, OTOH, have to deal with adjusting your daily cooking to reflect some of his opinions. Cooking can be fun, but the day in day out feeding of your partner & family isn't so much about the fun for you as about the fact that people need to eat. Plus, if he rejects your food in favor or cornflakes or PBJ for days on end, you can't be hurt.

if you someday are having kids, he needs to have learned to reject in a low-key fashion so as not to 'teach' his pickiness to them. I won't go so far as to expect him to sometimes noticeable eat something he is known to dislike, to model polite behaviour. But it would be handy.

PS I was in a relationship in which we had very different food cultures. our inability to appreciate each others standards was but one of many problems. But 3 times a day one or both of of us being annoyed or mad or disappointed sure didn't help. If you cant fine some way to enjoy meals together, some compromises, then hang it up now.

I have lived in Missouri (St. Louis) all my life. We always called the second meal of the day "Lunch", and the last meal of the day, "Supper". Although Dinner and Supper could be used interchangeably My husband's family did the same thing.. I notice my older siblings are now calling it "dinner" when they invite us over. I have always used the word Supper unless we are going out to a formal meal, then I will call it Dinner.

We have always used the word soda. My uncle used to call it sodie.

My first wife hated eggs, bananas, mustard, my watermelon fruit salad, my top secret recipe 6 grain pancakes, didn't like breakfast in general. Of course, I'm more of a breakfast cook, but her idea of cooking is heating up canned soup (mac and cheese was a highlight of her cooking skills). In fact, when we first got together, the only thing she ate was McDonald's cheeseburgers and fries. (I did get her to eat fresh cut up strawberries.) So when we split, I vowed that I would avoid dating picky eaters.

So of course, my last (I'm planning it that way, anyhow) wife is a great cook - an amateur chef IMHO, but she's vegan (and I'm allergic to the entire legume family). We have great fun trying to create dishes that we can both eat (the entree is always veggies, the protein ends up a side dish for each of us), and she has decided that fried rice with eggs is ok (she is having trouble getting enough protein in her diet). And as a bonus, she loves my pancakes (which I modify by substituting coconut or almond milk for sour milk and/or yogurt), and never complains about my potatoes.

So, as to your problem, drag the bum into the kitchen now and again and make cooking a shared activity - fun-shared, not chore-shared. If he is a good kitchen companion (maybe not entirely his cup-o-tea, but as a special activity), then it will lessen the anti-everything you seem to interpret from him right now, and some of his ideas might end up being useful in figuring out how to feed him when you are cooking without him. If you two can't get along in the kitchen, I'd have to vote for a quick exit strategy.

I think if you were really crazy about this person, his food habits wouldn't bother you as much.

It would eventually chip away at her patience, no matter how much she cares for him. You can only overlook something for so long before it ends up being part of an argument that goes, "Yeah, and another thing..."

I married a picky eater-- not quite as picky as yours, but some of my faves are the things he hates. Over the last 4 years, it's been easy to "cook around him": to use ingredients he likes, or just make sure the stuff he hates is in large chunks so he can pick it out and give it to me. I kind of like have double the mushrooms in my coq au vin! The thing is, for me, there was no consideration of not getting married to him because of his pickiness-- because it was SO obvious that we were meant to be together in every other way. So now I have artichokes when I go out, not at home, and I make a side of kale for just myself, and it's no big deal.

I have another friend who passionately loves her hubbie of 20 years, but they eat separate meals-- hers are gourmet feasts, and his are pizza, hot dogs, and pancakes (he has a severe food issues).

So it can be done! But it sounds like there are many other things that make you unsure... trust your instinct on this!

Wow, what a thread! And what a smorgasbord of advice! This guy must have really swept you off your feet in every other way for you to have endured his food fetishes for a year. Or, you are selling yourself short that there isn't someone out there who is perfect for you. And someone else perfect for him.

Being with someone who starts out a picky eater but eventually decides to expand his horizons is not the same as being with someone unwilling to budge. One is a victory that opens up a whole new world of flavors - the other is a huge pain in the ass.

Canadian Sunshine could end up with a chronically frustrating life with this picky eater. In considering a long-term or even a lifetime relationship, you need to identify the features and characteristics in the other person and in your interactions which will eventually drive you nuts. In several areas of our life together that could describe my 45 years of marriage but he loves my cooking, most of which involves a big bowl or plate of homemade glop du jour. He is enthusiastic about every vegetable except brussels sprouts and turnips, both of which hit his "too-bitter button." I love to shop for food, cook food, share food with others, and eat it myself. Without a welcoming audience at home for my cooking, my life, which is rich in so many ways, would be much poorer. Canadian Sunshine should not settle for this picky eater. They are not compatible.

I have been in a 10 year relationship with a picky eater. When we first started dating, he said he ate everything and enjoyed going to restaurants. He wined and dined me until I moved in, then I found out the truth... It affected my cooking and dining until last year when I said ENOUGH IS ENOUGH! I cook what I want when I want and if I want to go to a restaurant that doesn't appeal to him, I go with friends or alone. So if you can tolerate this type of lifestyle then continue dating him, if not DUMP him! But trust me, it is hard to live with someone like this when your a foodie and some days you just want to scream...

I married the world's pickiest eater. His family does not own a single condiment. Pickles, please, mustard, ugh, ketchup, ok maybe. But I married him anyway. Me with my 37 pie and cake pans. 53 pieces of cookware, 5 food processors and every gadget on the market. Of course I needed that ebleskiver pan! I could open a restaurant. Getting the pic. We solved the problem but two ways. Rule #1 - I would cook and not tell him what was in it. By the way he didn't know about rule #1. So - rule #2 - he would try one new item per month. Surprise, surprise, he has found many things he actually enjoys. And sometimes he actually tries 2 or 3 things per month. He still can't abide mushrooms and it's been a long process but he has been worth the time and effort. Make sure this is the only thing bothering you. It should be somewhere down toward the bottom of the list.

I dated a guy who would dump copious amounts of ketchup or bbq sauce on anything I'd cook for him. Before tasting the food! It was totally disrespectful and showed a complete lack of flexibility (or taste).

You need to be able to communicate about this. Is he really just that picky, or does he have food allergies/diet restrictions that he is too embarrassed to bring up? If there is a specific health restriction involved here, then that is not his fault, but it is his job to communicate this to you. If this is just pickiness, and YOU are a foodie, then as my mother would say NEXT. Move along honey.

Good luck my dear.

Just cut out the middleman and look for someone whose eating habits are not so astronomically different than yours. "Compromising" every so often and having pizza when you want ribs is one thing. Having food habits that are polar opposites is a big thing to overcome. The person who cooks is never afforded the pleasure of watching a significant other enjoy a meal without dissecting it. (I hate this and anyone who does it is not likely to be invited to my home again for food.) The picky eater wants a house full of ramen or some other food over which they obsess, and this will drive the cook crazy. A visit to a "favorite" restaurant turns into a war. It's a big world with lots of people and there is no need to hammer a square peg into a round hole.