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My DH is such a meat-and-potatoes guy that exotic fanciness is entirely lost on him. His idea of food sex appeal is anything with melted cheese on it. I could get away with serving an old boot covered with it.

To answer your question...maybe eggplant or veal parm, some wine and then after-dinner, um, treats.

I forgot to make menu suggestions. Last weekend I did a lemon-roasted whole chicken, risotto and a spinach-and-raspberry salad. Simple, clean and elegant. DIL loved the fruit and was grateful for the simplicity. Sorbet and cookies for dessert as her pregnant state seems not to want dairy right now. To jazz up a menu like that you can add wonderful wine, crusty artisinal bread and herb butters, a unique salad dressing, and maybe a lemony sauce for the chicken. All of these extras can be personalized by your guests and yet still the basic meal is impressive.

Cold lasagna practically CALLS out at midnight. I swear I can hear it all the way upstairs. So I go down, cut off a series of demure little slices, one after the other, until I can sleep again.

Years ago I walked into a local antiques shop and saw a massive, venerable old rosemary plant in a commandingly beautiful urn. In February. It was the most inspiring thing I'd ever seen. I stood there gaping and awestruck, and promised myself that I, who has no luck with houseplants, would at least TRY to put some effort into this.

It seems to be the only herb I can convince to stay around through the winter. It spends summers out of its pot, in the dirt, in the garden, but in fall I dig it up and stick it in a large pot, set it on the kitchen table in a south window, and sprinkle it with holy water. (Kidding. Sort of.)

I do use it through the winter months more than in summer anyway, and the cheapo in me hates to pay $3 for those impossibly tiny plastic herb cases in the grocery store. So it's worth it to me to do what I can to make the rosemary tolerate living through an upstate winter. It rewards my ignorance and slight negligence with steady but quiet growth, and even when bone dry can still be clipped for a quick roast.

I can't eat her food, but hey - she's human and subject to the same annoying health issues the rest of us are. She's also an opportunist, and is going to turn her trials into gold at some point. No problem with that. I don't watch her show, but it will be interesting to see whether there's an acknowledgment of the effects of her past advocacy of heavy use of fats-sugars-salts.

DH brings in some home-grown lettuce from his garden and makes up a quick salad for dinner. I trust that he has washed it. As I'm eating I notice this little round grey sac about the size of a large pea. I fork it over to the side and have no idea what it is. Suddenly I lift a lettuce leaf and there, all curled up, is this huge brown spider.

Now I know what the sac is. I haven't let him prep salad since.

Oh yeah...big time. I'd turn the oven on only to smell that distinctive mouse poop odor, and be furious that they got in again. My husband has pulled the stove out and filled every opening in the back wall with steel wool, done the foam thing and even screwed in steel plates against the wall and back of the stove. It keeps them at bay for a while, but the above posters are right that they can squeeze into the tiniest of openings.

Every now and then I borrow my son's cat for an overnight search-and-destroy mission. I think a multi-pronged approach is best. As for your pizza stone, maybe keep it covered with foil all the way around as a deterrent for contamination. Storing it upside down, too, might be good, so the top surface (assuming the bottom has those little raised ridges) isn't, um, violated.

Stop eating.

So much, I mean.

Forgot to say we eat before opening the gifts. Stockings before church, then after we come home we have breakfast, then we clear the table and start tearing open the goods.

Snack or trail mixes are more intuitive than anything. Choose an inexpensive basic filler, like peanuts or dried cereal (if you like) - let's say for example it's 3 cups' worth. Then add your higher-end specialty items in 1/2 cup amounts - fancy nuts, dried fruits, and so on. Go heavier on the things that you most want to find in your random handful. (for me, it's M & M Peanuts, baby.)

Here's a recipe for a trail mix that's really terrific. I read it in an Adirondack Life magazine a few years' back. It's a bit labor-intensive and certainly not your average gorp recipe but it provides the proteins and nutrition you want when you're hiking or otherwise seriously recreating. Here 'tis:

John Thaxton's Gourmet Gorp

3/4 lb tamari almonds
1/3 lb Thompson raisins
1/4 lb each: roasted usalted peanuts
shelled unsalted sunflower seeds
roasted unsalted cashews
pine nuts

Combine in large bowl: almonds, raisins, peanuts and cashews.

Toast sunflower seeds over medium flame in dry skillet. Stir constantly til golden brown. As soon as they're done, add to bowl, stirring thoroughly. Cover with a plate to infuse flavors.

Toast and add pine nuts in same manner. After about 10 minutes of cooling time, dump into ziploc bags and store in fridge.

I like scalloped potatoes, green beans with balsamic and shallots (or some other green side veggie - roasted asparagus sprinkled with fresh grated parm is great), and homemade applesauce. (Has to be homemade and still warm. No substitutions.) Rye or pumpernickel rolls if you can get them.

I don't like bread so dry it doesn't hold well to the insides. It needs some kind of glue, and a tomato isn't it. That's what mayo/dressing/mustard is for.