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I canNOT stand a picky eater. His attitude will have a negative effect on your love of food and cooking, and might (ohGod) produce picky offspring as well. Life is to be enjoyed in full - to me, especially if you love cooking and eating and have an adventurous outlook on it. Damn right you need someone to fight with over the last piece of cheesecake. Keep looking - somewhere out there is your soulmate who will give you joy in your life.

I don't usually make any cranberry sauce, but this recipe sounds so good that I am going to try it this year.

My first wife hated eggs, bananas, mustard, my watermelon fruit salad, my top secret recipe 6 grain pancakes, didn't like breakfast in general. Of course, I'm more of a breakfast cook, but her idea of cooking is heating up canned soup (mac and cheese was a highlight of her cooking skills). In fact, when we first got together, the only thing she ate was McDonald's cheeseburgers and fries. (I did get her to eat fresh cut up strawberries.) So when we split, I vowed that I would avoid dating picky eaters.

So of course, my last (I'm planning it that way, anyhow) wife is a great cook - an amateur chef IMHO, but she's vegan (and I'm allergic to the entire legume family). We have great fun trying to create dishes that we can both eat (the entree is always veggies, the protein ends up a side dish for each of us), and she has decided that fried rice with eggs is ok (she is having trouble getting enough protein in her diet). And as a bonus, she loves my pancakes (which I modify by substituting coconut or almond milk for sour milk and/or yogurt), and never complains about my potatoes.

So, as to your problem, drag the bum into the kitchen now and again and make cooking a shared activity - fun-shared, not chore-shared. If he is a good kitchen companion (maybe not entirely his cup-o-tea, but as a special activity), then it will lessen the anti-everything you seem to interpret from him right now, and some of his ideas might end up being useful in figuring out how to feed him when you are cooking without him. If you two can't get along in the kitchen, I'd have to vote for a quick exit strategy.

I think if you were really crazy about this person, his food habits wouldn't bother you as much.

It would eventually chip away at her patience, no matter how much she cares for him. You can only overlook something for so long before it ends up being part of an argument that goes, "Yeah, and another thing..."

I married a picky eater-- not quite as picky as yours, but some of my faves are the things he hates. Over the last 4 years, it's been easy to "cook around him": to use ingredients he likes, or just make sure the stuff he hates is in large chunks so he can pick it out and give it to me. I kind of like have double the mushrooms in my coq au vin! The thing is, for me, there was no consideration of not getting married to him because of his pickiness-- because it was SO obvious that we were meant to be together in every other way. So now I have artichokes when I go out, not at home, and I make a side of kale for just myself, and it's no big deal.

I have another friend who passionately loves her hubbie of 20 years, but they eat separate meals-- hers are gourmet feasts, and his are pizza, hot dogs, and pancakes (he has a severe food issues).

So it can be done! But it sounds like there are many other things that make you unsure... trust your instinct on this!

This year is my first vegan Thanksgiving and my aunt, whose house I'm going to for the meal, is sort of put-off by it, I can tell. But, her sides are always amazing and delicious, and I am going to bring some mushroom gravy and maybe some Field Roast for my main dish. She makes an incredible apple pie - made with vegetable shortening and Earth Balance margarine - that is the best I have ever tasted, and I'm not a pie person so that's a saying something.

I'm sorta torn. To some extent I do agree with tapioca. If food is your passion then there is no real way it's going to work out (and you kinda knew that). I am sorta dealing with the same thing, but the exception is that it's only a couple of things and of those things the problem is that he has eaten canned versions and not fresh versions. So I am slowly converting him. I'm still working on cucumbers and pickles - he's German can you imagine him not liking pickles, isn't there some rule about pickled food and Germans. Anyway - if it were a few things then I'd work around it but he seems pickey like a child and for me that's a big red flag.
Years ago someone told me that you can tell everything about a person by what they eat...she was so right

At this stage of a relationship, I dump this guy faster than a hot potato. For anyone who is a subscriber to Serious Eats, food is important (along with wine and other stuff). So connect with someone that shares this passion not someone who is going to disparage or pick at everything you love about food. Get to the core of the issue and stop fretting about symptoms.

Chef Wannabee

@WannabeTVchef - Food allergies are hardly rare. According to the American Academy of Allergy Asthma and Immunology, approximately 12 million people (or about 1 in 25) have food allergies. And that's allergies alone, not sensitivities or intolerances (like lactose intolerance). While a list of 8 foods cause about 90% of food allergies, who are you to judge what is a 'real' allergy. Obviously not a medical professional with the training to diagnose someone's immune disorder.

I've seen someone swell up like a balloon when a server didn't know the correct answer to if there was garlic in a dish. And personally, I'd love to eat raw tomatoes, but paying for that fantastic salsa with a blistered tongue is not a price I'm ok with.

It depends of course on just how picky someone is but for the most part, yes it is a deal breaker. I mean someone with acid reflux is one thing or extreme lactose intolerence but when they are the type to special order everything every time they eat out I have no patience. Also I have no patience with "food alergy" person who seems to have an alergy to everything an adult should eat like mushrooms or spinach. Food alergies are very, VERY rare and some of the ones I've heard (garlic allergy, onion allergy) just do not exist. Nut allergies, shellfish allergies, these are real and they are dangerous but please don't tell me that you are allergic to tomatoes and then soak your fries in ketchup.

I'm going to have to agree with other comments that sides and pie are enough for me! 101cookbooks has a great olive oil mashed potato recipe with kale that could be vegan but still omni-friendly.

@nitsuj If I eat meat/chicken stock/etc. I get sick. I don't think it's polite of me to ruin Thanksgiving by getting violently ill just to avoid putting them out and having my host make a different recipe when they are already cooking and have invited me over to eat. Often I will bring a dish, suggest a recipe so they don't have to find one, or offer to cook. Would you think a Jewish guest should eat bacon because they are inconveniencing you by voluntarily keeping kosher?

The Silver Palate's Corn Bread-Sausage Stuffing With Apples, it just looks as if it is something that would be delicious even if there wasn't a 25 pound bird sitting next to it (not that anybody would dare get rid of the bird)

I married the world's pickiest eater. His family does not own a single condiment. Pickles, please, mustard, ugh, ketchup, ok maybe. But I married him anyway. Me with my 37 pie and cake pans. 53 pieces of cookware, 5 food processors and every gadget on the market. Of course I needed that ebleskiver pan! I could open a restaurant. Getting the pic. We solved the problem but two ways. Rule #1 - I would cook and not tell him what was in it. By the way he didn't know about rule #1. So - rule #2 - he would try one new item per month. Surprise, surprise, he has found many things he actually enjoys. And sometimes he actually tries 2 or 3 things per month. He still can't abide mushrooms and it's been a long process but he has been worth the time and effort. Make sure this is the only thing bothering you. It should be somewhere down toward the bottom of the list.