Serious Eats - seriouseats.com

. . . in the real sense of that word.

Many years ago I was invited to a birthday party that included a five dollar fee for the cost of the party. I was absolutely appalled. A host should carry the expense. People who were invited hummed and buzzed about the fee for weeks. Everyone wanted to celebrate the birthday, but everyone was insulted by the money issue. It was brought up to the hosts, all of whom kept pointing fingers at each other saying it way that person's idea, obviously embarrassed at what they had done. If it does not feel right, don't do it, is my motto. Clearly not theirs.

I have paid when invited to retirement parties, the price of a meal and the gift included in the cost. This practice seems natural and correct because no one person or couple is hosting the party. Rather it presents an opportunity for co-workers to celebrate the career of a colleague.

But individual parties, where hosts ask the guests to pay money are much more than tacky; they are degrading.