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Sweet Ticket Giveaway, Week 2: What's Your Favorite Childhood Dessert Memory?
It would have to be my Grandmother Nellie's date bars. Where as many children didn't like them when we were kids, I loved the balance of sweet and tart mixed with the oatmeal. Perfect. I'm the one in the family that makes them these days. Hot from the oven with a good homemade ice cream? YUM!
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Recent Comments | Response to Comments
Paying for someone else's party?
I don't find it unforgivable. You either pay or don't go.
Were you to take the person out yourself (as a couple), 3 people would cost you well over $40 for a nice meal. ($40 for 3 people wouldn't come close to a nice meal here in NYC.)
In this economy I guess I'd rather be asked to share the cost than not have celebrations at all. $20 a head? Is this really what you're complaining about?
Sweet Ticket Giveaway, Week 2: What's Your Favorite Childhood Dessert Memory?
It would have to be my Grandmother Nellie's date bars. Where as many children didn't like them when we were kids, I loved the balance of sweet and tart mixed with the oatmeal. Perfect. I'm the one in the family that makes them these days. Hot from the oven with a good homemade ice cream? YUM!
Paying for someone else's party?
I think tacky hardly begin to describe what this charge to the guest could be called. It sounds like someone is trying to make a buck on this affair. I honestly believe the "guest of honor" should be told. I know if someone were giving a party for me and a friend or associate did this, I'd be so embarassed I wouldn't know what to do. Then I'd get mad! I think this person would want to know. What's going to happen is that people eventually are going to hold resentment against the person the party was held for, they're not going to to believe they didn't know about it. I wonder if the honoree finds out about this just how STUPID the hosts are going to feel? I really hope someone tells them off about this, I also hope they have VERY few people show up. Of course they'll wonder why, they appear to be a very dense type.
Paying for someone else's party?
We know a couple who regularly order pay-per-view events (mixed martial arts primarily) and then invite people over to watch. When you get there, they have a jar out for "donations" toward the refreshments and the cost of the pay-per-view. I find this so tacky, I refuse to go with my boyfriend. I agree with others -- if you can't afford to host a party, make it pot luck, or don't host a party.
Paying for someone else's party?
I've got one for you, I was invited to a wedding and dinner afterward. The next line was if you want to bring a date he/she is not invited to dinner but feel free to invite them for dancing after dinner...Now how do you tell a date
meet me at the reception around 10pm., and be sure to dress up!..I did not attend.
Paying for someone else's party?
Definitely should have been hosted as a potluck and BYOB. This is the second time that I've heard of this happening and both times that I've thought it was tacky.
The principal at my mom's work hosted a retirement party for a co-worker and it was a potluck, BYOB (no alcoholic beverages allowed) & a charge of $10.00 per person. If you did not bring anything it would be a $20.00 per person charge. This woman lives by me and we live in an area where homes start at around a million dollars... PLEASE!!!! How cheap can you be?! And as a side note: No entrance to the home was allowed - porta potties were brought in for the event...
Paying for someone else's party?
I think the party ought to be a get together where everyone can bring a dish and maybe some booze. It's very inconsiderate to think that everyone can afford this sort of thing. If the people, who you don't know anyway, want to have a party, I think they should foot the bill.
Paying for someone else's party?
Simply stated - gross - classless. nothing more to be said. surrah
Paying for someone else's party?
I think this is better than getting invited by the birthday person him/herself to celebrate their own birthday at a restaurant and then be expected to share the cost of his or her meal at the end. That's VERY tacky.
I have contributed substantially to a big birthday bash once beforehand because I knew the person organizing it was going way beyond her means to do it. I got a call from a common friend suggesting contributions from close friends. I thought it was fair. And then you get a nice Thank You from the birthday person. That's your birthday gift, and that's it.
Paying for someone else's party?
Last year, I threw a huge and quite expensive party for my partner's 60th birthday. About 60 people from in town and out of town came and enjoyed a sit-down soup-to-nuts formal catered dinner under an enormous tent in our garden. I provided full bar service and a trio of musicians to entertain our guests. The invitations specified no gifts, although a few people brought flowers or a bottle of wine. It would never have occurred to me to ask anyone to help pay for the party; it was my gift to my beloved partner. All of our guests had a marvelous time.
Soon thereafter, my partner and I received an invitation to a large (more than 100 guests) out of town birthday party for one of our friends who had attended my partner's party. The situation was the same as the situation the OP posted: pay XX amount per person, contribute to an expensive group gift to the birthday boy, etc.
I was astonished and emailed the person who invited us about our thoughts. The email was gentle and understated, merely asking a question or two about the situation. The party planner was astonished that paying for our friend's party might have been a problem for us: going to the party would have entailed boarding our animals, paying for travel expenses, plus paying the rather hefty 'charges' for actually being at the party. The party was to be a surprise for the birthday boy and, as in the original poster's situation, I believe that he had no idea his 'guests' were required to pay for the privilege of attending.
We elected to miss the event. No matter how much we love our friend (and we do), being asked to pay to attend his birthday party was, as so many posters have said, tacky and in exceptionally bad taste.
Paying for someone else's party?
Many years ago I was invited to a birthday party that included a five dollar fee for the cost of the party. I was absolutely appalled. A host should carry the expense. People who were invited hummed and buzzed about the fee for weeks. Everyone wanted to celebrate the birthday, but everyone was insulted by the money issue. It was brought up to the hosts, all of whom kept pointing fingers at each other saying it way that person's idea, obviously embarrassed at what they had done. If it does not feel right, don't do it, is my motto. Clearly not theirs.
I have paid when invited to retirement parties, the price of a meal and the gift included in the cost. This practice seems natural and correct because no one person or couple is hosting the party. Rather it presents an opportunity for co-workers to celebrate the career of a colleague.
But individual parties, where hosts ask the guests to pay money are much more than tacky; they are degrading.
Paying for someone else's party?
@janaatwg you did nothing wrong. Miss Manners says showers are the ONLY party where you are actually expected to bring a gift since the main purpose of the party is to shower the bride or mother to be with gifts.
I do find the pay to come birthday party kind of tacky. What if the birthday person's best friend is out of work and can't afford the $20/person?
Paying for someone else's party?
Sorry, that should read "contribution is EXPECTED"...
Paying for someone else's party?
I believe that asking people to contribute more than their own bottle of wine is okay if (a) it is not a party specifically hosted by someone for someone or themselves, but rather a surprise or get-together co-planned by a group (b) everyone knows what contribution is accepted BEFORE they're asked to make up their minds about attending. We have, for instance, a private dining club where everyone pays a fixed amount to the host for the evening, and it was made clear to all who joined before they did so that this applied. If a person would like a get-together at, say, a restaurant with friends on her birthday but can't afford to pay for those she invites, I'd suggest she invites them while making clear that everyone pays their own way - but just call it an evening out, rather than a birthday celebration. Attendees should not feel pressured to bring gifts.
Paying for someone else's party?
I think a potluck 40th party would have been more interesting and more appropriate. On the invitation - please RSVP and let me know what you are bringing. Or is this tacky too? Otherwise if you cannot afford the party - don't give it.
Paying for someone else's party?
Asking guests to pay for their attendance at a party is in very bad taste (unless its a charity/fund raising event, of course!). If guests want to bring a dish, or a bottle of wine, that's great. It should never be expected. When I "invite" people to my home - or anywhere else - its on my bill, not theirs. Never ever. Save your money and buy the inviters a book on manners.
Paying for someone else's party?
You do not have to go if you find $20 per person to be a problem. They way I see it this person is doing everyone else a huge favor by taking all the planning on to their own shoulders. All you have to do is send $20 bucks, and you are free from figuring out how to contribute. Perhaps you are being the cheap one?
Sweet Ticket Giveaway, Week 2: What's Your Favorite Childhood Dessert Memory?
We have our randomnly drawn winners. They are BrooklynBrownie and jgiovengo. Congrats to them, and thanks to everyone who commented. We will contact winners by email for instructions on how to pick up tickets.
Sweet Ticket Giveaway, Week 2: What's Your Favorite Childhood Dessert Memory?
When I was a child, my mother and grandmother used to make Polish "babka". We loved it. There was a family story that when my Uncle Leo was a child, he used to like to steal the raisins out of the babka and replace them with crumpled up newspaper when no one was looking. (AND BOY WOULD HE GET IN TROUBLE!!!) (LOLOLOL) As this was many, many years ago and my mother, grandmother and Uncle Leo have all passed on, every time I smell a babka baking in a bakery or pastry shop, it always brings a smile to my face.
Sweet Ticket Giveaway, Week 2: What's Your Favorite Childhood Dessert Memory?
My favorite dessert memory didn't occur until I was 22 years old and opening a hotel. Because of my job in the banquet department, I was working 100 hours a week to open a brand new hotel outside of Washington DC. My staff didn't speak English, I was living in rooms that were not completed, undergoing physical therapy on a work-related back injury three times a week, and my fiance was deployed to the Persian Gulf. Needless to say, life could have been better.
One of these awful winter nights were it was thirty degrees outside and eighty inside we had over 1,000 high school kids in for an Inaugural Ball. They ate and drank us out of house and home and worked us until two am! Exhaused, hot, sweaty and sore and made my way into the kitchen for some quiet and a glass of water. The restaurant manager, chef and I all ended up with the remainder of a five gallon bucket of chocolate ice cream and spoons. It wasn't even the best ice cream I've ever had, but it was at that moment. Cold, rich and satisfying it soothed the long event behind us and fortified me for the rest of the night ahead...getting ready for breakfast.
To this day, when it gets really rough, I reach for some chocolate ice cream and a cold, stainless steel table to ease the stress of the day and give me the strength to keep going.
Sweet Ticket Giveaway, Week 2: What's Your Favorite Childhood Dessert Memory?
I have one single memory from childhood that trumps all others I have. My parents, sisters and I drove into Queens to pick up my grandparents for a long weekend back at our house on Long Island.
On the way back to LI, we randomly took a detour to see my great aunt who we hadn't seen in many years. She worked in an old Italian pastry shop. When we walked into the old shop (which smelled like heaven to an 11 year old Italian-American kid) she lite up when she recognized us - then the procession of hugging and kissing began.
We all admired the displays of cookies,pastries, and cakes. We got a big box of pastries that was tied with the red and white string that hung from the tin cylinder in the ceiling. As we walked out, Aunt Rae grabbed me by the arm and said, "come here". She brought me in the bake of the bakery and before me were racks and racks of freshly made cannoli shells. She grabbed another box and started filling the cannoli creme into the freshly made shells. When she was done filling the box with what appeared to be over a dozen freshly made cannoli's she topped it off with a generous dose of confectionary sugar and walked me out to the car.
They tasted like the most unbelievable cannoli I have ever had. They would have tasted better if I was allowed to eat it in the car however!
Sweet Ticket Giveaway, Week 2: What's Your Favorite Childhood Dessert Memory?
My grandmother's amazing chocolate chip cake used to, and actually still does, bring a smile to my face. It was tradition that for any special occasion there would be a chocolate chip cake. It was a yellow cake with chocolate chips and shaved dark chocolate pieces topped with more chocolate and powdered sugar. The top was almost a crust and it paired perfectly with the moist buttery sides and inside of the cake. A true crowd pleaser and a dessert I will never forget.
Sweet Ticket Giveaway, Week 2: What's Your Favorite Childhood Dessert Memory?
My favorite childhood dessert memory is apple pie a la mode. We would have contests with those great combo apple peeler/corers (that you can find everywhere now) to see who could make it the fastest. I am officially the record holder in my family with a preparation time of 8 minutes and 30 seconds. (That's six apples, two pre-made pie crusts and my unmeasured flour, sugar, salt, and cinnamon.) I'm a little proud. :)
Just the smell alone makes me feel like snuggling up to the fire with a good book and all of my family eating apple pie and fresh vanilla ice cream. (We even had apple pie at our wedding instead of cake - my husband is a big fan and loves this time of year.)
My second favorite (sorry about the book here, but desserts get me excited!) is definitely chocolate-covered strawberries. There is something so sensual and messy about them. They always steal my heart.
Okay, I've written too much already, but good luck to everyone!
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I don't find it unforgivable. You either pay or don't go.
Were you to take the person out yourself (as a couple), 3 people would cost you well over $40 for a nice meal. ($40 for 3 people wouldn't come close to a nice meal here in NYC.)
In this economy I guess I'd rather be asked to share the cost than not have celebrations at all. $20 a head? Is this really what you're complaining about?