Serious Eats - seriouseats.com

My mom says I used to love Spaghetti-Os as a kid, but I've apparently blocked it entirely from my memory. I want to barf just thinking about it.

I've never tried a Home Run pie, but oh man do I miss Woodman's. I used to say stuff like "So and so market is nice, but it's no Woodman's" and he would just uh-huh me. Until I actually took him to one back home. Now he knows why it's the shop I measure all supermarkets by.

I loved Reese's Peanut Butter Cups and Kit Kats as a kid. Always ate those first out of the Halloween goodies.

Now I buy Newman's Dark Chocolate Peanut Butter Cups by the case, and try every exotic Kit Kat flavor I can find in our local Japanese markets.

Nose to tail, nut to butt--I'd try duck testicles, yum!

cold scrambled eggs, cooked lox (a crime), deadened with a glob of melted cream cheese.

looks pretty, but I'll take my eggs on the side of my bagel with cc & lox.

Give me a choice:
Scratch Biscuits with store bought sausage meat

or

Bisquick biscuits with home made sausage meat

?

I'll take the homemade sausage!

All you really need is a quality hunk of pork belly, salt, water, pepper, and a food processor. You can add sage, a little sweetener, maybe red pepper of some sort if you want. Don't grind it too fine.

The fat in the pan after cooking fresh quality pork sausage is so clean and fresh tasting, you will be shocked.

I'll go kidnap a cow if I could get a butter burger. Maybe I'll sneak out for one when I next fly back home to Wisconsin.

...you refuse to vacation anywhere not known for its cuisine (i.e., Orlando) despite your family's tearful pleas.

I'm a simple girl--Dove Promises, dark chocolate, are my daily go-to for chocolate cravings. But if I'm talking last-day-on-earth kinda stuff, I loved Bissinger's blackberry creams though I haven't had them in several years now.

89%. Missed the last, haven't been down in NO in over a decade now. I'd cheerfully strangle someone for hot beignets and coffee from Cafe Du Monde!

Realistically, no "just cut out the meat" suggestions? Forget the tofu, forget the organic (unless it's on sale cheaper than the regular).

Hillbilly Housewife's $45 Emergency Menu for 4 to 6

It includes staples like flour, oil, sugar etc in the price. EVERYTHING is included, no freebies. Bare cupboards.

The first time my husband made homemade sausage. Madre de Dios, I had no idea breakfast sausage could be so delicious. No old off flavor, just sweet fresh porkiness with salt and a hint of sage and red pepper. Not good for my diet, but awesome to cure food-deprivation depression.

Or skip the picnic, eat the crumb cake, and have a portable defibrillator standing by just in case. (But for full disclosure, I should mention I am a crumb-cakeaholic in dietary rehab)