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Is dating a picky eater a dealbreaker for anyone?!
Oh, my. I do a whole routine on this. Lovely man, but just not An Eater. And as the relationship was winding down, one night a man showed up at my front door with a couple of lobsters under one arm and a copy of MFK Fisher under the other. And that, my friends, was Mr. Meatloaf.
In the midst of the earlier relationship, I had the opportunity to write Mrs. Fisher and thank her for all the pleasure she'd given me with her writing. And then I asked her if she'd consider getting involved with a man who didn't like to eat. She replied, "I would no sooner get involved with a man who didn't like to eat than a man who didn't like Mozart."
I rest my case. Tapioca is right.
Fried potato question
Well, my general ratio of potato to onion is about 2/1 - about one onion for every two potatoes. I'd start off with that. And I start with raw potatoes - and add the onion when they're not quite half done, so the onion flavor cooks into the potato. So I'd start with rethinking the amount of onion. I like the idea of chorizo, myself.
It's Over - What candy is left, and what will you do with it?
Y'know you don't have to scrape the insides of oreos off to make the crust unless you just want to.... Smaller here than usual, numerous groups of middle-school kids, more than average. We hadn't planned on being here at all, so I had to grab some stuff very quickly. Ended up with some 100-calorie bags of microwave popcorn at the end of giving it out, which puzzled some of the little ones but mostly pleased.
And how on earth did that bowl get stolen? Mine never leaves my hand when I open the door.
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Dal Bukhara recipe?
I can't imagine why you'd need a PC for lentils; they cook so quickly. And if these are already cooked lentils, you certainly wouldn't need one. No recipe, sorry, but don't worry about the PC .
Is dating a picky eater a dealbreaker for anyone?!
Oh, my. I do a whole routine on this. Lovely man, but just not An Eater. And as the relationship was winding down, one night a man showed up at my front door with a couple of lobsters under one arm and a copy of MFK Fisher under the other. And that, my friends, was Mr. Meatloaf.
In the midst of the earlier relationship, I had the opportunity to write Mrs. Fisher and thank her for all the pleasure she'd given me with her writing. And then I asked her if she'd consider getting involved with a man who didn't like to eat. She replied, "I would no sooner get involved with a man who didn't like to eat than a man who didn't like Mozart."
I rest my case. Tapioca is right.
Fried potato question
Well, my general ratio of potato to onion is about 2/1 - about one onion for every two potatoes. I'd start off with that. And I start with raw potatoes - and add the onion when they're not quite half done, so the onion flavor cooks into the potato. So I'd start with rethinking the amount of onion. I like the idea of chorizo, myself.
It's Over - What candy is left, and what will you do with it?
Y'know you don't have to scrape the insides of oreos off to make the crust unless you just want to.... Smaller here than usual, numerous groups of middle-school kids, more than average. We hadn't planned on being here at all, so I had to grab some stuff very quickly. Ended up with some 100-calorie bags of microwave popcorn at the end of giving it out, which puzzled some of the little ones but mostly pleased.
And how on earth did that bowl get stolen? Mine never leaves my hand when I open the door.
Pumpkin Pie Ideas Needed
My goodness, the sweetened condensed stuff? Regular condensed milk, yes; it's what many of us grew up with. But one of my favorite tweaks is this crust, and a killer ginger-butterscotch sauce that is to die for. I blogged about it a couple of years ago: http://stlouiseats.typepad.com/st_louis_eats_and_drinks_/2006/11/tweaking_the_pu.html
Take a look, especially if you're not wild about making pie crust.
100 (okay, 50) Things Restaurant Staffers Should Never Do
Well, you know, this clearly is not a list of rules for, uh...some sit-down hamburger chain like Red Robin, say. I wouldn't call it uptight, I'd call it a little more formal. And there are places where that's much more appropriate. When I'm paying $30 or more for an entree, I expect a certain decorum from servers. To quote Mr. Meatloaf, "Restaurants set their own standards by the way they price themselves."
And a particular gripe from me: DON"T call me "young lady". I am an adult with adult children. Being addressed that way sounds sarcastic or condescending.
Embarrassing food question. Need help with foods I love.
Pasta? Just plain pasta? That's very unusual in combination with the other items you list. If bread doesn't cause problems, pasta shouldn't either. Have you seen a gastroenterologist, not just an internist or family practitioner?
Cereal with Water and Other Cereal Compulsions
I am reminded of a friend of Mr. Meatloaf who has a scoop of ice cream on his a.m. oatmeal - milk and sugar, he says, cools the oatmeal and saves time!
Carrots and Celery
I chop them and freeze before sauteeing - just makes life easier, and I can measure out specific amounts. I spread them on a wax-paper covered baking sheet, freeze til rigid and dump them in a plastic bag (marked!).
What's your spice aversion?
You may want to see if it's turmeric or fenugreek that's making you feel bad about curry. For years - decades, even - I thought I didn't like curry. Any curry. Then I found out specifically what I didn't like was fenugreek, which also is something they use in fake maple flavoring. Do a little sniffing at a spice store. Turmeric is often called more for its color than its actual flavor - much of the color of most ballpark-style mustards are from turmeric.
I am still not crazy about it, but can manage it, have come to like cilantro, and am working on rosemary.
Cabrito Roasting a Goat in Mad. Sq. Mark't Right Now, No Kidding
Sorry to hear about djzouke's experience. But I will see about catching a plane to get there ASAP
Book Giveaway: Mike Colameco's Food Lover's Guide to NYC
Well, I was thinking more off the metaphorical map, not so much in the boroughs. Mr. Meatloaf is a Brooklyn guy, but his holes-in-the-wall are long gone. (There is consideration being given to making the first place where he ate Chinese food a national historical site, however.) The place that hardly anyone has heard of outside New York and where we send our friends is Gabriel's near Lincoln Center and ABC. Northern Italian, great way with game, and for years it was our traditional first-night dinner when we stayed at the much-missed Mayflower Hotel.
Why Fish and Red Wine Don't Mix
So what does that say about pinot noir and salmon, one of the classic combinations?
Eggplant for Dessert?
French fried eggplant is traditionallyserved with powdered sugar at Galatoire's in New Orleans, and other places, althoug it is considered an appetizer rather than a dessert. And if we can have torte de blette, which is a dessert with Swiss chard in Provence and the Riviera , why not eggplant?
Feeding Christmas Cakes
I just do it whenever I think of it, maybe every two weeks or so. I haven't found a big difference in the frequently-watered and the nearly-forgotten years, to tell the truth. But if I were planning stuff to be fed to families with kids, I would probably go lightly.
Cook the Book: Paula Deen's Pumpkin Gooey Butter Cakes
That's 16 ounces by weight, for the powdered sugar.
Seriously Asian: Burmese Chicken-Coconut Soup
Let's talk about the chickpea-fava bean flour. Is the mixture something you can buy? What's the name for it that I'm apt to see on the package? Or do I have to buy the two flours separately and mix them? What else can I use it for?
Gadgets: Rival Crock Pot
You gonna put some meat in that rump roast, or is it vegetarian?
What's your favorite cake?
A really dark chocolate cake with a flulffy white frosting - basically a Swiss meringue, very marshmallowy.
Fruit Loops served at Best Western...
I was at a Holiday Inn Express night before last - hold the expert jokes, please - and there were Froot Loops, 3 other cereals, sausage, bacon, gravy, biscuits, HB eggs, omelets, yogurt, their signature cinnamon rolls, and a few other carb-type things like bagels and bread. This was Oxford, MS.
We travel a fair amount and I don't find that the sweetened cereals are region-specific and neither are the waffles (which are not bad, BTW) or HB eggs or anything else. It's corporate-think, believing that travelers want a consistent experience. I'm not crazy about the whole idea, preferring some little local spot, but Mr. Meatloaf points out we've paid for this, so we sometimes succumb.
Yes, I've indeed had vile swill put before me in such spots, but that means it's time for some milk and a piece of toast unless it's margarine instead of bread. (I can do ten minutes on those awful mini-muffins....)
Goat shoulder
You can treat it the same way you treat a lamb shoulder, in terms of roasting it. You might consider doing the same sort of a marinade you would pork, lots of garlic and sour oranges and oregano, and a slow roast.
Cook the Book: Paula Deen's Pumpkin Gooey Butter Cakes
Gooey butter cake is an old St. Louis standard, almost never made at home. We've got a couple of new places doing it in multiple flavors, including one with the wonderful name of Gooey Louie's. Basically, it was always something that came from the many little German bakeries that once existed in residential neighborhoods. For me, I preferred the variation that put the topping on a yeast dough rather than a cakey bottom; it seemed to cut the richness. You will never hear me use the words "It's too rich for me", to be sure, but GBC is not one of my big faves. We never had it in restaurants until the last few years, but now you can occasionally find it. One serves it with a tall, slim glass of very cold milk, the proper accompaniment.
Cook the Book: Pumpkin Baking
Larry Forgione's Pumpkin Pudding. Good warm from the oven or cold from the fridge.
Problems with baking/roasting in a gas oven
I've worked with mostly gas ovens, some electric, and haven't found much difference. But what specific differences are you talking about? Length of time to heat? Browning? (And were/are both ovens accurate as to their temperatures?)
Is dating a picky eater a dealbreaker for anyone?!
oh and- marriage is hard work. There is PLENTY to fight about without adding a daily struggle of what his highness will eat.
Is dating a picky eater a dealbreaker for anyone?!
Sorry but it would be a deal breaker for me. Food (for me anyway) is an expression of love, passion, and joy. Move on.
Is dating a picky eater a dealbreaker for anyone?!
also, ocarol had the best comment on this entire thread. listen to her.
Is dating a picky eater a dealbreaker for anyone?!
you love cooking; i will dare to say that he hates eating. For him, it's an activity full of anxiety, barriers and neuroses.
You have an open mind about food; he's stubborn and narrow. I don't know what other dimensions you two click on, but food is something you eat every day. this one conflict may presage other problems.
And food is love. my girlfriend doesn't particularly like mushy food or sour cream, but if i cook something for her, mushy or not, she will eat it. It should be that way. Love should trump fear. especially if that fear is of mustard.
There are millions of guys out there. don't settle for somebody who will turn up their nose at your expressions of care and nurturing.
Is dating a picky eater a dealbreaker for anyone?!
His attitude about what he doesn't eat would be more important to me than what he doesn't eat. As far as I'm concerned, adults should be allowed to not eat things they don't like. But at the same time, he shouldn't make me give up what I want to eat. There are ways to work that out, if you really want to.
Is dating a picky eater a dealbreaker for anyone?!
My husband was born and raised in the midwest on a steady diet of meat, potatoes and overcooked vegetables. He thinks he turned out OK, but I am forced to point out that something went terribly wrong because he eats raw seafood regularly. It is one of the things I like best about him.
That said, my impatience with pickiness is my problem. I struggle daily to overcome it, but I'm not sure if I could overcome it in a partner. A lot of what we share is the joy of discovering a new hole in the wall, a high end meal, purchasing a dol sot and so on.
Is dating a picky eater a dealbreaker for anyone?!
I will admit I do appreciate how very unpicky my boyfriend is. I would be livid if he threw things I made out. But it's worth talking about it before ending things.
Is dating a picky eater a dealbreaker for anyone?!
With you on this one AliceBlue. Mine has a (relatively short) list of things he can't eat - and each comes accompanied by a horror story of childhood food massacres. I have cooked each thing for him since and he keeps trying to get over it with delicious versions of the listed items to no avail. But he juts LOVES everything else I cook and brags about me to his friends.
If he defined himself by what he doesn't eat (and I know people who do - unbearable) then I would have found it difficult to enjoy my life with him. Instead I don't even think about it any more as there are so many other foods out there and we have a great time with food (I cook it, he eats it, he does the dishes). I also have a friend who has serious food allergies but loves food and comes over regularly for friendly feasts.
So really it is about how it fits with the rest of your lives together and it seems that his proclivities are a limitation rather than a challenge...sad, but I couldn't live like that :p
Is dating a picky eater a dealbreaker for anyone?!
Seriously, you want advice on this? Okay: Chill. If he's a nice guy and treats you well, what's wrong with him treating himself well enough to not eat what he does not like? If he's a jerk about it, then he's a jerk, period, and that's a reason to not move forward. Don't search for excuses, if you want to end it, do. Don't expect him to change. Be willing to meet halfway if he is. That's my advice, but only because you asked. (My authority here is that my husband does NOT eat cheese. Why did I marry him despite this atrocity of taste? Because he wouldn't dream of asking me to forgo cheese, and even encourages me to buy it when we shop. He's a good guy, he just has a different palate. Not a deal breaker.)
Is dating a picky eater a dealbreaker for anyone?!
I actually have a friend who married a guy with weird food issues. She LOVES food. He has an odd set of food criteria that make it challenging for us when we have them over and for himself, but he does not force his food issues on anyone. She has different issues of her own. After all, no one is perfect. WE ALL HAVE OUR ISSUES.
They've been married 10 years, have a gorgeous and hilariously independent four year old daughter, a beautiful home, loving family and friends, they are both accomplished, gorgeous, and truly wonderful people. If they had a Golden Retriever, they'd be pushed into a Stepford version of the perfect family. The reality is that during the course of the 10 years, the food issue was the least of the problems they overcame. Their problems are pretty universal to all marriages--worries over money, worries over job security, where to live (he was working for NASA, she was working for Capital One, both workplaces were in different cities), buying a house, selling a house, buying another house, worried that the other house isn't selling, moving, the economy, why can't he scrub the toilet for a change, not enough sex, too much sex, let's renovate omigod why'd we renovate, etc.
What I'm trying to say is that a relationship is more than what he won't eat. It is what WILL he eat? How will WE handle issues, big and small? If you're ready to throw in the towel, then be honest. But if he's a keeper in every other way--you know he'll be there in a crisis, he's honest, he's motivated, he makes your heart skip, he makes you laugh, you make him laugh. Oh! FLASH of inspiration! Do you read The Pioneer Woman?! If you don't, you must. Her husband is Meat and Potatoes. She is sushi and starbucks (well, not together). The thing is, she says he makes her hiney tingle or her skirt fly up or her ovaries leap or something like that (she's pretty funny). She's a food blogger--food's important to her, but she fell in love with a man who want's steak and baked potato and a wedge of iceberg with ranch dressing (I think that's right). AND they made it work!
Is dating a picky eater a dealbreaker for anyone?!
I'm married to a woman who won't ever ever eat a piece of tomato in a dish. A smooth coulis is fine, but no "chunks." She also won't eat anything that has a discernible piece of onion in it. Same as tomato, she loves the flavor, just not the texture.
And that carries on to bell peppers, zucchini (squash in general, really), any greens that are cooked, capers, olives, feta cheese. it really goes on for a long time, and it limits how I can cook at home.
I made some candied fennel a week or so ago and I tried giving her some. She looked at it, disgusted, and said, "What is that?" I told her it was candied fennel. Then she said she hated fennel. I then explained that it was cooked in wine and honey, and now pretty much tastes and has the texture of those Sunkist candies (which I know she likes). Then she told me she didn't like honey. 7 years and I'm now finding out that she doesn't like honey.
But despite all of this, we make it work. I adjust recipes for her, or I'll add my extra stuff to a saute pan after pulling her food out. something like being a picky eater is only a deal breaker if the rest of the relationship doesn't work very well.
Is dating a picky eater a dealbreaker for anyone?!
Since you are asking a bunch of strangers for marital advice, you obviously already have doubts about the relationship. And, since everyone here loves food, we all think your boyfriend is a jerk.
Seriously, people that have aversions to many different common foods have deeper neurosis and insecurities that make them difficult to live with. Get out now.
Is dating a picky eater a dealbreaker for anyone?!
Blah blah blah..
DMFA.
ps- one of my best friends is a canadian named sunshine. Weird.
Is dating a picky eater a dealbreaker for anyone?!
if he doesnt like what i am making i can make some adjustments (like asking what spread he prefers on sandwiches), and he can make some adjustments (like trying things and judging them on this time rather than bad memories).... if he cant adjust, then he can make his own food and the fight ends.
Is dating a picky eater a dealbreaker for anyone?!
If it is important to you that he at least politely eat (and not waste) the food you have cooked, then this is only going to continue to bother you. Especially if you've already talked about it. His pickiness sounds, frankly, like spoiled, controlling behavior. One can be perfectly pleasant in some ways and a big jerk in other ways. Life is too short to put up with it. Dump him.
Is dating a picky eater a dealbreaker for anyone?!
Oh young one how you learn that not everything in heaven and earth is complicated but is easy. In matters of the heart you have to love yourself enough to know your limitations. Today your heart will flutter and tomorrow you will call him every name in the book after a hard day and the inevitable dinner time showdown. Never hide your light under a bushel. If you are foodie, YOU ARE A FOODIE, and if he doesn't appreciate that aspect of you or the significance it means to you that is the sign. As time goes by and as you develop and grow together it is a flourish or flounder principle.
The relationship is based on whom you are. That is not going to change for you OR for him.
Is dating a picky eater a dealbreaker for anyone?!
urgh maybe not lol... everything else is so compatible with us... Is it fair to let someone slip away because of this. Its so simple but its a huge issue for me.. And i dont see it getting any better?!
Is dating a picky eater a dealbreaker for anyone?!
And my purpose every night is not to cook for him, or i would take his likes and dislikes into consideration, like if i was making him a special meal of course i would taylor it to his likes, but everyday should not be just about him... Food is too good to eat the same thing everyday lol.... Think i just answered my own question lol... Thanks everyone. Really put my thinking cap on
Is dating a picky eater a dealbreaker for anyone?!
to moibec.... I have over the last year tried to cook anything and everything he likes... But when that list consists of chicken with absolutley NO spice on them and ceaser salad.... Bagels... And Pasta with no flavor the list of things you can do when your cooking every night for him is pretty limited... When i am used to flavor and variety in what i eat... I'm all for chicken, i really am, but who wants to eat chicken every single night?! Its pretty east to perfect what he likes,but should it not be about give and take?! How can someone possibly be expected to eat the same thing every night just because they love a person?!
And as for the whole hiding things in the garbage, its sweet he doesnt want to hurt my feelings... thats him very sweet, but he is not being true to himself... And i dont want that either. Guess its just a matter or not if i can live with it huh....
Is dating a picky eater a dealbreaker for anyone?!
The short answer is that no behavior that bothers you before marriage gets cuter after marriage.
Is dating a picky eater a dealbreaker for anyone?!
if you need to be with someone who eats and enjoys a wide variety of foods because food is very important to you, then you are cutting off a large chunk of who you are in order to be in the relationship. everyone does this to some extent, but it's knowing what you can live with in another person and what you can't that makes for wise choices in partners. can you spend the rest of your life with someone whose food idiosyncrasies will dictate how and what you eat and cook? if you think you can work around it, fine, but if you can't, better to choose someone whose tastes and habits mesh with yours.
personally, i would find it a deal breaker. for my partner, i require someone who loves food and cats, because cooking and my cat are at the center of my life and my heart. other things are more negotiable.
Is dating a picky eater a dealbreaker for anyone?!
Why do you insist he eats what you like? When I cook for others, I take their likes/dislikes/allergic sensitivities into consideration. I'ts not enabling - it's called being practical and considerate.
Why do you cook for others? Who are you trying to please when you cook "for others"? The question you need to ask yourself is this: marriage is comprised of doing for another out of love. If you love the beloved other, you will do what pleases him. (not in an oppressed way - don't freak out here) - so think long and hard about why his palate needs to be so tightly coordinated with yours.
On the other hand, this eating conflict may be a sign of deeper incompatibility and you're looking for a way out by focusing on something that's ultimately kind of unimportant. My suggestion is this: if you love him, really really love him, and if his other qualites are golden, then you will want to prepare the foods that he genuinely enjoys because you will want to make him happy.
If my husband, who loves runny fried eggs, had insisted while we were dating that my loathing for them was a deal-breaker, I would certainly interpret that as a sign that he was shallow, rude, and selfish. Ridiculous, too. After 26 years of marriage, he now seeks "texture" in his food, which drives me nuts, and makes me want to sprinkle his meal with gravel. But - butbutbut - his other qualites are golden, and I mean that sincerely, so I tolerate his fussiness about the texture thing.
Experiment with what he will eat and likes, and engage him in the preparation. If you truly enjoy cooking, then learn to cook what he likes and perfect that. If he's polite about communicating his preferences, fine - he's gracious, at least. If he acts like a jerk and makes faces and complains noisily and grandly about his likes, ditch him. But really, do think about why you cook, and who it is you're really doing it for.
Is dating a picky eater a dealbreaker for anyone?!
You have made a pro/con list and are asking *us* for advice? That does not bode well.
Is dating a picky eater a dealbreaker for anyone?!
Funny, but the first thing I thought when I read what you wrote was that if I was going to make a sandwich for someone, I would first ask them what they wanted on it. I know plenty of people who loathe condiments.
Then he went to make his own sandwich. Well, that's better than handing it back to you and saying, "Make it right this time!"
I think there's room for compromise on both sides of this relationship, if you both want it to work. You said that takes the food, but tries it, doesn't like it, and throws it away, and that makes you mad. Would it be better if he didn't try it? It sounds like he's attempting to do what he thinks you will like - by taking a decent helping of the food - and then he tries not to hurt your feelings by hiding it in the trash. So maybe you just need to tell him that if he doesn't think he'll like it, that you'd rather have him just try a little bit of it, because the waste bothers you more than the dislike of the food.
And he's willing to pick out the bits he doesn't like, and eat the rest. So, if you make a stew, he picks out the mushrooms, right? Sounds fine to me. I'll take all those mushrooms. So if you can still make the dish with the things you like, and he'll eat around them, it's not the worst thing in the world.
As far as the pickiness, I guess it depends on how picky he is, and whether you two are willing to work around it. He's probably just as bothered that after a year you keep feeding him foods that contain things that he doesn't like.
There are plenty of relationships where one person has a major food allergy (milk, gluten, etc) or aversion to specific foods. Or one is a vegetarian. And those folks can work things out.
Personally, I wouldn't like cooking for someone with a very limited range of what they would eat, but on the other hand, I'd be willing to work around their likes and dislikes, as long as they weren't banning me from cooking things just for me.
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I can't imagine why you'd need a PC for lentils; they cook so quickly. And if these are already cooked lentils, you certainly wouldn't need one. No recipe, sorry, but don't worry about the PC .