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I would not be the least put out by going to a chain for a first date, as long it was at least somewhat classy. However, my most recent flame cooked our first meal together for me all by himself in his own kitchen, and we are now engaged. :]

This reminds me of one of my favorite Seinfeld moments:

Elaine: I met this lawyer, we went out to dinner, I had the lobster bisque, we went back to my place, yada yada yada, I never heard from him again.

Jerry: But you yada yada'd over the best part.

Elaine: No, I mentioned the bisque.

Speaking from quirky Portland Oregon - if i were on a first date with a girl, and she chose TGIF, or something equally annoying - i would be highly suspicious.

1st thought : this girl eats factory food from FSA and Sysco - are you kidding me? that shit sucks!!! serious black mark

2nd thought: for a factory chain like this to even be an option tells me she probably lives out in the burbs surrounded by strip malls
(as opposed to all the urban dwellers of Portland that walk & ride bikes everywhere, and every neighborhood corner has wonderful food and bar options)

3rd thought: the likes of TGIF ship their goods by truck all over the damn country just to make sure that every menu is the same
(see point 1 - factory food) which tells me that anyone today who thinks this is responsible or sustainable is not paying attention - black mark.

she would have to be incredibly hot, I would have to be desperate, and/or she would be seeking to move into Portland and seriously make a life change for me to seek a 2nd date.

Good quality food is serious business!!

I really want to read through all the comments. Here are my thoughts though (and this goes for "Would I say yes to a proposal when I hate the ring" as well - the answer is no) - especially at this stage in my life, I am very vocal and it is very obvious how much food means to me, how important it is. If a guy hopes to have a shot with me, he should have talked to me enough before asking me on a date that he would realize this. There are two options here: he defers the decision to me (which is actually a negative but that's because of something else, and is better than suggesting PF Chang's), or he goes out of his way to research something interesting for us to do/eat. A guy who suggests TGI Friday's knowing that I am very into food seems like he just has no regard for my taste whatsoever - like suggesting a steakhouse if I am a vegetarian.

Having said that, I do note that I was not as vocal about my love of food just 6 years ago, and yet, on my first date with my boyfriend, he chose a place that he said, "I bet you've never heard of it/never been there, but the food is excellent, I'd be really surprised if you didn't like it." This, despite his being a picky eater who, at the time, ate to live, while I lived to eat. And I appreciated the gesture, the thought, and yes, the restaurant lived up to the standards (and we've been back a fair amount in the past 6 years). Kind of makes you think, right?

Of course, a few dates later, he told me he knew where to get really good Japanese food, then took me to a hibachi place in his neighborhood owned by a Chinese man (in fact, "Szechuan" appears in the name of the restaurant!), and then was flabbergasted when I got sick and didn't like the food... But it's a fun memory now. :)

Honestly, though, I think if I really liked a guy, it probably wouldn't matter. I do hope that I wouldn't go on a date with a guy who didn't even take the time to find out what kind of food I like, though.

I've gone on a slew of first dates in the past year since I became single again. I don't go to chain restaurants generally anyway, and I've only had one guy take me to a TGI Fridays on a first date. I didn't see him again. It wasn't because of his choice in restaurant (and strangely enough the guy was a chef) but it didn't really help.

I live in Albany NY and my favorite place to introduce people to is Crisan Bakery & Edible Art Gallery on Lark Street. It's this little place that has all kinds of cutesy baked goods to eat, and art made of rice paper & sugar in various forms.... and yummy gelato for $1. I would highly recommend this to any guys in the Albany area looking to impress a gal. The Capital District is pretty good in terms of restaurant selection. I think I dislike chains because they tend to be crowded, loud and obnoxious. It's more about the atmosphere than anything else. Just pick a place that's not too noisy, and if it's pretty that helps too. :-)

Growing up in a tiny, rural town, driving about 30 minutes & going to a chain restaurant was really our only option for 'dating'. I wouldn't fault a guy for it, necessarily, particularly back when I was younger.

Now, however, I live in St. Paul, and if you need to choose a chain, you're really not trying at all. There are SO many fabulous little 'hole in the wall' places. First date with the current boyfriend was at a chain - morning date at Starbucks. Totally redeemed through a meet up at a total beer bar later that evening (we're both craft beer freaks), followed by a late-night bite at a local (infamous) diner.

Summary: I wouldn't fault if that's kind of the only option, but I would if it's a ridiculously clear indication someone isn't even trying to put thought into the date.

There are good chain restaurants and there are bad ones. However, I think that going to a chain restaurant on a first date is probably a bad idea, barring the possibility that you live in the country and that's your only choice. If at all possible, a casual, relatively inexpensive local place with good food is always a safe bet. Lunch is also good, as it takes a lot of pressure off. My first date with my boyfriend was at a tiny steakhouse out in the middle of nowhere. It wasn't much to look at, but I remember the food was delicious and I had a great time.

Now, what really bothers me is blatantly cheap guys. My ex boyfriend and I always alternated who payed when we went out to eat. (Poor college students.) Whenever it was my turn to pay, we always mysteriously ended up at some fancy place. His turn? "Hey, does Whataburger sound good?" UGH. Once I caught on, that ended pretty fast.

Dealbreaker definitely, since the bond I'd want with my date, is through food. Taking me to a chain, would just show no imagination, unless ie. he can come up with some witty story about the place....
But indeed, it depends on the chain..the consensus is somewhere like Red Lobster (horrors!) or TGIF, then I'd call it off asap...
call me a snob, whatever...that's my take :)

I recall that Amanda Hesser's first date with her now husband happened at a chain-type place . . . the company is what really matters.

Very well said, mttkauffman.

I also agree with Shamefree - I think ag3208 hit the nail on the head with "Once we get to know one another better, than we can figure out what kind of restaurants we both like or want to try and go from there."

I get where you chain-averse people are coming from. But completely discounting someone for picking a chain just seems like a crap judgmental thing to do.

When you get to the end of your life, are you really going to rehash all the restaurants you ate at with someone? Or are you going to remember THEM?

@Jengraf: I deleted a part of my post on being taken to fine dining restaurants on the first date. I rolled my eyes when my date ordered oysters and nudged me to get the lobster (he knew I love lobster). When I got a plate of salad, he reminded me that he had money. I HATE feeling obligated to "repay." I don't even want to be touched on the first date.

I laughed when I heard the story of my stepmother being so LIVID she walked out of a restaurant when my father took her -- not on a first date, but a couple weeks before they got married -- to a hole in the wall a few years ago. She was raised on white tablecloth, formal dining, no television during meals, being served, etc.

He took her to a place where you could see the meat hanging, and watch them chop the stuff up, and cook it behind an acrylic barrier, seated on wooden stools, served in paper plates and disposable chopsticks.

My stepmother is fine with eating at more casual restaurants now, as long as they are spotless and unusual - service or food.

I don't mind some chains. One guy, almost 15 years ago, took me to a pho place (which was part of a very small chain) on a first date - I had no problem trying Vietnamese food for the first time, no problem with it being a chain, but being a pho newbie, I did wonder to myself, WTF, why is this guy taking me out for SOUP? Hehehehehe! Now I get it.

My guy and I went to a small local chain for our first date. We've also gone to chains like Chili's when we can't think of anything else. I really think it's perception. You can have great first dates bonding over crappy food at a big chain, or you can have horrible first dates at your favorite local place, or anything in between.