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This is causing me the most awkward problem with my favorite bartender right now--I like to sit at the bar to eat and chat with him, and have a glass of wine, but I've been trying to cut down on the amount I drink. I literally just want that ONE glass, and he refills it when I'm not looking, despite direct protestations every time. I feel bad not drinking it, because I know the staff well enough to know that the owner has cut back on the amount of money budgeted for buybacks and it will just get poured out if I don't. What's the best way to tactfully tell him I'll be a regular as long as they have the duck rillette and some roast veggies on the menu, so he can save the free drink to butter up someone else?

Joseph Leonard! Ahh so good.

I think dumplings--so many ways to light them, so many pretty colors in the fillings, and so so delicious!

At what point could you hold this recipe if you wanted to do most of the work in advance and then, say, pop them in the oven just before breakfast the next morning?

Oh, Kenji, I'm so sorry! I saw you and Dumpling walking along the Christopher Street pier on Memorial Day weekend (and of course wanted to say hi, but am not in the habit of greeting internet strangers in a tiny black bikini) and he was just so obviously the happiest, friendliest little dog, trotting along with his little face turned towards the grass to people-watch. I've so enjoyed the slideshows; RIP Dumpling :(

I love little restaurants, and frequent many in my neighborhood. But I have to say that I could see having each menu item written as a story being incredibly annoying. I could see it working if the story explained how the dish was put together (i.e. "someone will first salt, then freeze, then sear that duck breast for optimal juiciness" is enticing, and at the end of the sentence, I know that I'll be getting a seared duck breast) but spare your diners more poetry about the idyllic lifestyle of your free-range proteins. It's the kind of idea that can seem fun for people who are wholly passionate about food, but ultimately, your servers will be answering the question, "So...what's in that?" dozens of times a night if that information isn't included on the menu.

His website recommends dusting the pan with cocoa powder after buttering, a trick I now now steal for every other chocolate cake that's likely to stick, and I skip the parchment paper. One of my favorites.

Did you read this--Tim and Nina Zagat on why you shouldn't open a restaurant? Because I think it addresses exactly the question you're pondering...if you don't have a WSJ subscription it's all over the web too.

http://online.wsj.com/article/SB10001424052748703806304576245032809751832.html

If you enjoy cooking, cook! If you have a lifetime membership to a cooking school, start learning technique. You sound like you're focusing entirely on the things you *could* do before you've even actually done them--reading a lot, taking online classes, and daydreaming are not solid foundations for a career or a business plan. You're putting the cart MILES before the horse--forget "putting away your chef's hat," you don't even have a prep cook's hairnet at this point. Start cooking in your home, for your friends, every night, meal after meal. Develop your palate, develop your techniques, decide if this is actually something you want to do for hours and hours a week by DOING it hours and hours a week. After that, when you've put in the time and are a seriously experienced amateur and qualified to be someone's personal chef or operating a food truck, then you can decide if you want to try to make a career out of it.

Best birthdays in NYC I've been to: reserved the back room at Freemans followed by a whole Magnolia cake; giant blow-out bash at the Spotted Pig; tasting menu at Masa; incredibly luxe dinner at Daniel. Are you going to be alone? In that situation I might try for a Batali restaurant and eat at the bar and be social, though they'll definitely treat you right at Le Bernardin, but frankly, my hands-down favorite restaurant in the city right now is Fedoras in the West Village. New, fun, young, delicious--if you tell them it's your 30th they'll make sure you enjoy yourself.

You lost me at "beer" while I lapsed into fond memories of too many nights up to our elbows in bar peanuts at the Moan and Dove. It's not any Pioneer Valley pilgrim's version of walking distance, but I do hope you're including it on your list.

This is a wonderful column. And you most certainly are building something--from the way the napkins are folded (and whether they're linen, cotton, or dishrags) and the candles lit in the bathroom to what's hanging on the walls and playing on the sound system, you're building an environment, an experience, an atmosphere. Any poetry lover knows that there is as much meaning in the spaces between as there are in the letters--to create a space is assuredly creating something. It's easy to lose track of that when you're buried in invoices, I know, but that's just the mise en place for your masterpiece! Be proud of your work--it's a good thing you do.

My brother used to refuse to eat any crackers, cookies, etc., that were broken--he said when they broke, "all the flavor fell out of them." What kind of kid turns down cookies, broken or otherwise?? But as it turns out, a lot of small children that I've babysat for or known since will refuse to eat "broken" foods if they know that's not how they're supposed to look.

I was more or less the picky eater, though--I survived on tuna fish and challah bread for about 10 straight years. Then one day I started eating and never looked back! My parents got the big "I told you so" on that one.

Do you ever feel like it's time to consult a professional other than your scale about gains you are making or could be making in other areas of your health? If you were to begin exercising more often, for instance, and started putting on muscle, you'd probably gain poundage but lose inches and body fat percentage. Your doctor or a trainer can measure that for you, and I found it helpful. The scale is useful for keeping yourself on track, but maybe having a different set of criteria to meet and different tools to meet it would give you renewed motivation and get you past the plateau you've been on.