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Is dating a picky eater a dealbreaker for anyone?!
With you on this one AliceBlue. Mine has a (relatively short) list of things he can't eat - and each comes accompanied by a horror story of childhood food massacres. I have cooked each thing for him since and he keeps trying to get over it with delicious versions of the listed items to no avail. But he juts LOVES everything else I cook and brags about me to his friends.
If he defined himself by what he doesn't eat (and I know people who do - unbearable) then I would have found it difficult to enjoy my life with him. Instead I don't even think about it any more as there are so many other foods out there and we have a great time with food (I cook it, he eats it, he does the dishes). I also have a friend who has serious food allergies but loves food and comes over regularly for friendly feasts.
So really it is about how it fits with the rest of your lives together and it seems that his proclivities are a limitation rather than a challenge...sad, but I couldn't live like that :p
Cook the Book: 'New Classic Family Dinners'
When about 16, I'd make my little brother and sister chicken kiev with crunchy fried potatoes on a Saturday night while I babysat. They'd drool watching the chicken get rolled around the butter and help with the crumbing. Took us until Sunday afternoon to clean up the strewn crumbs but SO delicious.
The Crisper Whisperer: Gingered Butternut Soup
Try roasting the squash first for more intense flavour. I used to add potato but found it diluted the squash taste so it was too bland - try leaving it out and increasing the squash quantity!
My fave though is using Thai Red Curry paste (vegan ones are best) and coconut milk. Fry a tablespoon or so (depends how spicy the paste and how brave your palette) of the curry paste until fragrant, after the onions have softened but before you add the squash. Use as much coconut milk as you wish (depending on how rich you want it to be), reducing the amount of stock accordingly. A kaffir lime leaf added while the vegetables cook (removed prior to blending) increases the depth of flavour too.
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After the Thanksgiving Binge: Drink Amaro
Pot of chinese tea - jasmine, green, oolong. Very soothing and hydrating after all the salt! Obviously no Thanksgiving in Australia, but Christmas is crazy with turkey etc. AND it's usually really hot so doubly bloating!!!
Is dating a picky eater a dealbreaker for anyone?!
With you on this one AliceBlue. Mine has a (relatively short) list of things he can't eat - and each comes accompanied by a horror story of childhood food massacres. I have cooked each thing for him since and he keeps trying to get over it with delicious versions of the listed items to no avail. But he juts LOVES everything else I cook and brags about me to his friends.
If he defined himself by what he doesn't eat (and I know people who do - unbearable) then I would have found it difficult to enjoy my life with him. Instead I don't even think about it any more as there are so many other foods out there and we have a great time with food (I cook it, he eats it, he does the dishes). I also have a friend who has serious food allergies but loves food and comes over regularly for friendly feasts.
So really it is about how it fits with the rest of your lives together and it seems that his proclivities are a limitation rather than a challenge...sad, but I couldn't live like that :p
Cook the Book: 'New Classic Family Dinners'
When about 16, I'd make my little brother and sister chicken kiev with crunchy fried potatoes on a Saturday night while I babysat. They'd drool watching the chicken get rolled around the butter and help with the crumbing. Took us until Sunday afternoon to clean up the strewn crumbs but SO delicious.
The Crisper Whisperer: Gingered Butternut Soup
Try roasting the squash first for more intense flavour. I used to add potato but found it diluted the squash taste so it was too bland - try leaving it out and increasing the squash quantity!
My fave though is using Thai Red Curry paste (vegan ones are best) and coconut milk. Fry a tablespoon or so (depends how spicy the paste and how brave your palette) of the curry paste until fragrant, after the onions have softened but before you add the squash. Use as much coconut milk as you wish (depending on how rich you want it to be), reducing the amount of stock accordingly. A kaffir lime leaf added while the vegetables cook (removed prior to blending) increases the depth of flavour too.
What's your favorite food when drunk?
Spaghetti carbonara with loads of parmesan and cracked pepper - made at 3 a.m. - somehow the clumsiness makes it more tasty. Accompanied by a gigantic, icy glass of soda water with a slice of lemon. Seriously - sometimes even saves you from a hangover.
What would be your last meal?
Oysters, beef carpaccio with shaved fennel and capers, kipper pate on buttered crunchy toast, a cup of tea, scottish strawberries, a big glass of a secret Aberlour whisky and finally, cheese - runny blue, delice and comte.
Oyster recipe?
Shuck them. Pop them in a bamboo steamer in the half shell, with some grated ginger, a dash of soy sauce, a drop of sesame oil, really thinly sliced spring onions. Not too much of any of the toppings though. Steam for about 3 minutes until just cooked then slurp them - whatever you do, don't let any of the juices out of the shells unless it is into your mouth.
What to do with tahini?
Artisan bread - toasted, spread with tahini and honey - topped with sliced banana. SO divine!!!
Weekend Cook and Tell Round Up: Anchovies
mmmmm...straight out of the jar...licking oily, stinky fingers afterwards.
Eating Alone (In Restaurants)
In Europe the waiters were incredulous at me eating alone. "Where is your husband?" When they also found out I was travelling alone their faces were hilarious. But I always got the best seat in the house, awesome recommendations including things not on the menu and many times did not appear on the bill, and a piccolo or demi of whatever wine I fancied. Sometimes I got to read but more often than not was treated to gentle teasing and great stories.
Enjoy yourself!
Seriously Asian: Tofu Dengaku
Tofu burger - slab of golden, grilled tofu in a bun with lashings of tomato relish, lots of lettuce, some fresh-picked basil and sweet, home-grown tomatoes. In summer with a cold beer - yum!
But it's winter here in Australia, so miso broth with seaweed, soft tofu and enoki mushrooms.
A Fantastic New York City-Style Burger from HB Burger
Rare burger = really repulsive to anyone outside the US. Oh gag, I can't even look at the picture. What kind of meat do you guys get your burgers made from to want to put it into your mouth basically raw? Unless the beef comes from cows fed in heaven's pastures, processed by angels you wouldn't get me putting a rare burger close to my face. Rare beef is divine in all other forms, but BURGERS? Isn't it sloppy and cold?
What Weird Family Foods Did You Grow Up Thinking Were Normal?
I used to mix up a batch of chocolate butter icing (that's frosting for you Americans) and eat it in wholemeal bread sandwiches.
And we were a Scottish family living in Australia so the YUMMY tin of mackerel on oatcakes at school was mocked by my vegemite sandwich-eating classmates.
Cook the Book: Eugenia Bone's 'Well-Preserved'
Goat's cheese (chevre) with herbs in olive oil in a jar, is my fave jarred product - Meredith Dairy http://www.meredithdairy.com/products.html. BUT my own spicy tomato relish alongside is hard to go past. Can't rave about how fabulous this cheese is though.
Giant Cheetos vs. Regular Cheetos
Cheetos are an inferior cheese snack. The Cheezel is the finest yellow, stainy and mouth-tearing fromage flavoured cruncher on the planet. These rings of snacky wonder have been gracing the fingers of Australian children and party-goers for decades. And they come in a box. Visitors to our shores, once eating a Cheezel never look back.
At what point does a recipe become your own?
Whether or not you 'own' the recipe should have no bearing on accepting compliments when you cook something that people liked - you still made it happen.
Like art, good technique is one thing, but artistry cannot be explained. Good food comes from an unknowable convergence of time, place, luck, personality, hardship, friendship, sunshine, stories, lies, drunkenness (on behalf of the artist and/or the appreciators), insanity, lust, knives, pots...
Eat for Eight Bucks: Dumplings Two Ways, with Freestyle Dipping Sauce
Please don't do the pineapple on the hamburger thing - it is gross and most Australian's stopped befouling their food in such ways in the 80's. You are far more likely to be served a steaming bowl of ginger broth with dumplings like this these days in Australia!!
Do You Put Ranch Dressing on Pizza?
I just looked up ranch dressing and DID throw up in my mouth! Never heard of anyone dipping pizza crusts in any kind of dip, never mind what sounds like is probably some mass-produced, salt and fat-fest. You crazy Americans and your food mutilations. I need to cheer myself up by looking at a bird getting eaten by a spider.
Is dating a picky eater a dealbreaker for anyone?!
Dealbreaker for all the reasons listed above.
You want someone to grow old with (It'll come sooner than you think) and anything as important to you as food is there 2-3 times a day, everyday for your whole life.
Best of Luck in finding the right one - watch their eating habits closely.
;)
Is dating a picky eater a dealbreaker for anyone?!
I canNOT stand a picky eater. His attitude will have a negative effect on your love of food and cooking, and might (ohGod) produce picky offspring as well. Life is to be enjoyed in full - to me, especially if you love cooking and eating and have an adventurous outlook on it. Damn right you need someone to fight with over the last piece of cheesecake. Keep looking - somewhere out there is your soulmate who will give you joy in your life.
Is dating a picky eater a dealbreaker for anyone?!
it sounds as if the problem is as much how his pickiness presents itself Vs the actual fact of the pickiness.
you need to negotiate how he goes about tasting and reacting. instead of filling his plate hiding the uneaten, he should take a bite only, then only take more of what he will actually eat. He also must accept that if he rejects what's for dinner, he makes his own substitute.
You, OTOH, have to deal with adjusting your daily cooking to reflect some of his opinions. Cooking can be fun, but the day in day out feeding of your partner & family isn't so much about the fun for you as about the fact that people need to eat. Plus, if he rejects your food in favor or cornflakes or PBJ for days on end, you can't be hurt.
if you someday are having kids, he needs to have learned to reject in a low-key fashion so as not to 'teach' his pickiness to them. I won't go so far as to expect him to sometimes noticeable eat something he is known to dislike, to model polite behaviour. But it would be handy.
PS I was in a relationship in which we had very different food cultures. our inability to appreciate each others standards was but one of many problems. But 3 times a day one or both of of us being annoyed or mad or disappointed sure didn't help. If you cant fine some way to enjoy meals together, some compromises, then hang it up now.
Is dating a picky eater a dealbreaker for anyone?!
We all have our food preferences. I don't like fruit mixed with foods that are supposed to be savory, savory stuff with raisins, or chocolate mixed with fruit (though separately, I love them both). Other than that, I'll eat anything at least once, maybe twice (I believe it second chances for everyone and everything). I think the thing that bothers you the most is that he doesn't share your passion for food and he doesn't want to even try. The point is: can you live with this? or will it be a thorn in your side that digs deeper with time? If you can't make peace with yourself on this, then walk away. If you can deal with it and have it not affect your dignity and self-worth, then I don't see that it's a real problem.
Is dating a picky eater a dealbreaker for anyone?!
My first wife hated eggs, bananas, mustard, my watermelon fruit salad, my top secret recipe 6 grain pancakes, didn't like breakfast in general. Of course, I'm more of a breakfast cook, but her idea of cooking is heating up canned soup (mac and cheese was a highlight of her cooking skills). In fact, when we first got together, the only thing she ate was McDonald's cheeseburgers and fries. (I did get her to eat fresh cut up strawberries.) So when we split, I vowed that I would avoid dating picky eaters.
So of course, my last (I'm planning it that way, anyhow) wife is a great cook - an amateur chef IMHO, but she's vegan (and I'm allergic to the entire legume family). We have great fun trying to create dishes that we can both eat (the entree is always veggies, the protein ends up a side dish for each of us), and she has decided that fried rice with eggs is ok (she is having trouble getting enough protein in her diet). And as a bonus, she loves my pancakes (which I modify by substituting coconut or almond milk for sour milk and/or yogurt), and never complains about my potatoes.
So, as to your problem, drag the bum into the kitchen now and again and make cooking a shared activity - fun-shared, not chore-shared. If he is a good kitchen companion (maybe not entirely his cup-o-tea, but as a special activity), then it will lessen the anti-everything you seem to interpret from him right now, and some of his ideas might end up being useful in figuring out how to feed him when you are cooking without him. If you two can't get along in the kitchen, I'd have to vote for a quick exit strategy.
Do You Put Ranch Dressing on Pizza?
How do you get a white trash girl to suck your d**k?
Dip it in ranch dressing.
Is dating a picky eater a dealbreaker for anyone?!
Every person you meet and get along with very well isn't necessarily your mate. Food is something you will be sharing with this person for life, 3 times a day plus snacks. Not to mention favorite holiday treats... that adds up to a lot of things you won't be sharing, possibly even arguing about. You love to cook, and may see food as love. His constant rejection of your offerings and likes may over time wear like water dripping on stone and erode love and respect. A very long list of verboten foods is a whole different thing than not caring for a few things. Stay friends if possible but think long and hard about developing more intimacy.
BUT- utimately it's your life, your choice.
Is dating a picky eater a dealbreaker for anyone?!
I think if you were really crazy about this person, his food habits wouldn't bother you as much.
It would eventually chip away at her patience, no matter how much she cares for him. You can only overlook something for so long before it ends up being part of an argument that goes, "Yeah, and another thing..."
Is dating a picky eater a dealbreaker for anyone?!
I think if you were really crazy about this person, his food habits wouldn't bother you as much. And, vice-versa, he would make an attempt to be more adventurous.
My husband was a picky eater when we first started dating. Over time, he's broadened his horizons food-wise, and I save the things he really won't eat to savor when I'm having a meal without him. A good compromise, I think.
Is dating a picky eater a dealbreaker for anyone?!
I married a picky eater-- not quite as picky as yours, but some of my faves are the things he hates. Over the last 4 years, it's been easy to "cook around him": to use ingredients he likes, or just make sure the stuff he hates is in large chunks so he can pick it out and give it to me. I kind of like have double the mushrooms in my coq au vin! The thing is, for me, there was no consideration of not getting married to him because of his pickiness-- because it was SO obvious that we were meant to be together in every other way. So now I have artichokes when I go out, not at home, and I make a side of kale for just myself, and it's no big deal.
I have another friend who passionately loves her hubbie of 20 years, but they eat separate meals-- hers are gourmet feasts, and his are pizza, hot dogs, and pancakes (he has a severe food issues).
So it can be done! But it sounds like there are many other things that make you unsure... trust your instinct on this!
Is dating a picky eater a dealbreaker for anyone?!
I'm sorta torn. To some extent I do agree with tapioca. If food is your passion then there is no real way it's going to work out (and you kinda knew that). I am sorta dealing with the same thing, but the exception is that it's only a couple of things and of those things the problem is that he has eaten canned versions and not fresh versions. So I am slowly converting him. I'm still working on cucumbers and pickles - he's German can you imagine him not liking pickles, isn't there some rule about pickled food and Germans. Anyway - if it were a few things then I'd work around it but he seems pickey like a child and for me that's a big red flag.
Years ago someone told me that you can tell everything about a person by what they eat...she was so right
Is dating a picky eater a dealbreaker for anyone?!
Wow, what a thread! And what a smorgasbord of advice! This guy must have really swept you off your feet in every other way for you to have endured his food fetishes for a year. Or, you are selling yourself short that there isn't someone out there who is perfect for you. And someone else perfect for him.
Is dating a picky eater a dealbreaker for anyone?!
At this stage of a relationship, I dump this guy faster than a hot potato. For anyone who is a subscriber to Serious Eats, food is important (along with wine and other stuff). So connect with someone that shares this passion not someone who is going to disparage or pick at everything you love about food. Get to the core of the issue and stop fretting about symptoms.
Is dating a picky eater a dealbreaker for anyone?!
Being with someone who starts out a picky eater but eventually decides to expand his horizons is not the same as being with someone unwilling to budge. One is a victory that opens up a whole new world of flavors - the other is a huge pain in the ass.
Is dating a picky eater a dealbreaker for anyone?!
@WannabeTVchef - Food allergies are hardly rare. According to the American Academy of Allergy Asthma and Immunology, approximately 12 million people (or about 1 in 25) have food allergies. And that's allergies alone, not sensitivities or intolerances (like lactose intolerance). While a list of 8 foods cause about 90% of food allergies, who are you to judge what is a 'real' allergy. Obviously not a medical professional with the training to diagnose someone's immune disorder.
I've seen someone swell up like a balloon when a server didn't know the correct answer to if there was garlic in a dish. And personally, I'd love to eat raw tomatoes, but paying for that fantastic salsa with a blistered tongue is not a price I'm ok with.
Is dating a picky eater a dealbreaker for anyone?!
Canadian Sunshine could end up with a chronically frustrating life with this picky eater. In considering a long-term or even a lifetime relationship, you need to identify the features and characteristics in the other person and in your interactions which will eventually drive you nuts. In several areas of our life together that could describe my 45 years of marriage but he loves my cooking, most of which involves a big bowl or plate of homemade glop du jour. He is enthusiastic about every vegetable except brussels sprouts and turnips, both of which hit his "too-bitter button." I love to shop for food, cook food, share food with others, and eat it myself. Without a welcoming audience at home for my cooking, my life, which is rich in so many ways, would be much poorer. Canadian Sunshine should not settle for this picky eater. They are not compatible.
Is dating a picky eater a dealbreaker for anyone?!
It depends of course on just how picky someone is but for the most part, yes it is a deal breaker. I mean someone with acid reflux is one thing or extreme lactose intolerence but when they are the type to special order everything every time they eat out I have no patience. Also I have no patience with "food alergy" person who seems to have an alergy to everything an adult should eat like mushrooms or spinach. Food alergies are very, VERY rare and some of the ones I've heard (garlic allergy, onion allergy) just do not exist. Nut allergies, shellfish allergies, these are real and they are dangerous but please don't tell me that you are allergic to tomatoes and then soak your fries in ketchup.
Is dating a picky eater a dealbreaker for anyone?!
I have been in a 10 year relationship with a picky eater. When we first started dating, he said he ate everything and enjoyed going to restaurants. He wined and dined me until I moved in, then I found out the truth... It affected my cooking and dining until last year when I said ENOUGH IS ENOUGH! I cook what I want when I want and if I want to go to a restaurant that doesn't appeal to him, I go with friends or alone. So if you can tolerate this type of lifestyle then continue dating him, if not DUMP him! But trust me, it is hard to live with someone like this when your a foodie and some days you just want to scream...
Is dating a picky eater a dealbreaker for anyone?!
My husband and I have been married for almost 26 years. When we started dating, almost 30 years ago, he came from a "Hamburger Helper" household and I came from a gourmet / European household. He was never quite sure what he was going to be served at my parents, but he was always game. While my side of the family introduced him to strange things like broccoli (WITHOUT cheese sauce) and asparagus, I will have to admit that he introduced me to kool-aid slushies and toasted pb & js.
His job has taken him all over the world and he is more than happy to try anything that is put in front of him. Our kids are the same way - they will try anything.
It's a tough call. Is he willing to be educated? If not, your meals are going to be pretty sucky.
Is dating a picky eater a dealbreaker for anyone?!
I married the world's pickiest eater. His family does not own a single condiment. Pickles, please, mustard, ugh, ketchup, ok maybe. But I married him anyway. Me with my 37 pie and cake pans. 53 pieces of cookware, 5 food processors and every gadget on the market. Of course I needed that ebleskiver pan! I could open a restaurant. Getting the pic. We solved the problem but two ways. Rule #1 - I would cook and not tell him what was in it. By the way he didn't know about rule #1. So - rule #2 - he would try one new item per month. Surprise, surprise, he has found many things he actually enjoys. And sometimes he actually tries 2 or 3 things per month. He still can't abide mushrooms and it's been a long process but he has been worth the time and effort. Make sure this is the only thing bothering you. It should be somewhere down toward the bottom of the list.
Is dating a picky eater a dealbreaker for anyone?!
Yes, it's an absolute deal breaker!
Is dating a picky eater a dealbreaker for anyone?!
I dated a guy who would dump copious amounts of ketchup or bbq sauce on anything I'd cook for him. Before tasting the food! It was totally disrespectful and showed a complete lack of flexibility (or taste).
You need to be able to communicate about this. Is he really just that picky, or does he have food allergies/diet restrictions that he is too embarrassed to bring up? If there is a specific health restriction involved here, then that is not his fault, but it is his job to communicate this to you. If this is just pickiness, and YOU are a foodie, then as my mother would say NEXT. Move along honey.
Good luck my dear.
Is dating a picky eater a dealbreaker for anyone?!
From your post, it seems clear that you care about food. If you think the BF is a keeper, you need to explain to him how important it is for him to try the foods you like. Marriages have lots of tough spots and if you're not in the same place food-wise (which you care about), it's tough to see how this relationship will work long-term. If he's willing to try things, but still doesn't like it, that's one thing. But it sounds like you're a long way away from that place.
Is dating a picky eater a dealbreaker for anyone?!
Just cut out the middleman and look for someone whose eating habits are not so astronomically different than yours. "Compromising" every so often and having pizza when you want ribs is one thing. Having food habits that are polar opposites is a big thing to overcome. The person who cooks is never afforded the pleasure of watching a significant other enjoy a meal without dissecting it. (I hate this and anyone who does it is not likely to be invited to my home again for food.) The picky eater wants a house full of ramen or some other food over which they obsess, and this will drive the cook crazy. A visit to a "favorite" restaurant turns into a war. It's a big world with lots of people and there is no need to hammer a square peg into a round hole.
Is dating a picky eater a dealbreaker for anyone?!
I think the OP needs to stop with some passive agressive food behavior. If you are continuing to make dishes with ingredients he doesn't like, and expecting him to love it just because you want him to, it's never going to work!
So, BF doesn't like mushrooms, but OP loves mushroom risotto, so she's going to make it for dinner. BF's got 3 choices:
1) Refuse to eat it - OP gets angry because she put the work into dinner and he won't give it a chance, gets offended when/if he makes something else
2) Eat it, but pick out the mushrooms - OP gets angry because this is a pet peeve of hers
3) Take a serving, not like it, and not finish it - OP gets angry over wasting food.
There's no way he can win.
I can understand that OP's annoyed because she has to change her cooking behavior due to the relationship. but LOTS of things change for relationships. I don't like America's Next Top Model, my girlfriend loves it. I can deal with watching it because i love her. I like Filk music, my girlfried doesn't... she puts up with it in the car because she loves me.
I hate mayo and ketchup. My GF likes mayo and buys ketchup in those big pump-containers. She likes meatloaf, i think it's a conspiracy. I love mushrooms and could eat them by the pound while she can't even put her revulsion into words. If you love a person, you deal with their preferences, be it entertainment or Food.
Relationships are a give and take
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Pot of chinese tea - jasmine, green, oolong. Very soothing and hydrating after all the salt! Obviously no Thanksgiving in Australia, but Christmas is crazy with turkey etc. AND it's usually really hot so doubly bloating!!!