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redzerostar: if you want all of your tip to go to the bartender, you have to sit at the bar. Otherwise, your bartender is only getting a tip out from the server - anywhere from 2-5% of either her net sales or her liquor, beer & wine sales.
RE: free drink - there is such a thing. Many owners give bartenders a comp tab; wine & spirits are priced accordingly. However, if the bartender doesn't have one, that's most definitely stealing. When I get a free drink, I tip close to the price of the cocktail. My rationale is that I'm returning the favor and saving the cost of a tip. Drink it forward!