Serious Eats - seriouseats.com

I've never liked Velveeta, even as a kid. I've tried a "Velveeta substitute" similar to the above with a bit more gelatin. It ended up having a really good texture without the "cheese-like product" taste. I used it for a queso as well as grilled cheese, and it melted pretty much like Velveeta. You could also try a mix of cheddar and Havarti or good quality American.

Because nothing else comes close to tasting as good as bacon.