Serious Eats - seriouseats.com

How do you get a white trash girl to suck your d**k?

Dip it in ranch dressing.

@ mr guy- I agree, the brining doesn't do much for me either. I've done it the past two years, and if you ask me it's a big pain in the ass for little results. Expensive too.

Don't be hating on me, but Campbell's creamy onion soup is far superior to use in casseroles versus the cream of mushroom. When I took over Thanksgiving duty from my MIL, that marshmallow sweet potato monstrosity was banned from my menu. As well as the canned cranberry "sauce", I make my own SF version from the real cranberries from the produce section.

The usual assortment of American and Asian condiments, pickles, capers, sundried tomatoes and olives. A jar of yellow curry paste and a jar of Jamaican jerk seasoning.

Here's the one oddity: macapuno strings (I make a killer fruit salad of fresh strawberries, a drained can of lychee, and macapuno)

@WIGirl : Try this with your red curry paste. Fry about a tablespoon of paste in a skillet for a minute. Stir in a can of coconut milk and a can of water. Toss in a pound of chuck roast cut into 1 inch cubes. Simmer for about 45 minutes until the meat is done and the gravey thickens - watch that it doesn't get too dry. A simple substitute for Indonesian rendang. Serve over rice.

Fridge door inventory:

Butter saver shelf: carton of eggs, half a lime
Shelf 1: butter, ketchup, small cans of pineapple juice, a pineapple fruit cup, a bottle of fruit smoothie drink, 8 oz glass bottle of Dr Pepper
Shelf 2: spray margarine, peanut butter, sugar free strawberry preserves, bottled bbq sauce, tabasco, cream cheese, box of baking soda in a ziploc, cold brew coffee concentrate
Shelf 3: bottle of aloe vera infused lotion, bottle of sriracha, bottle of balsamic viniagrette, bottle of ranch dressing, bottle of Cristalino, sour mix
Shelf 4: chocolate syrup, sugar free chocolate syrup, hazelnut flavored syrup, 2 kinds of homemade bbq sauce, white vinegar, hummus, maraschino cherries, tapioca pearls

Some of this is undoubtedly completely weird.

organic plain yogurt
butter
mozzarella cheese
2 types of soy sauce
oyster sauce
ketchup
dried up tahini
strawberry jam
Miracle Whip
Diana's Spicy Southwest marinade
stale Japanese vinaigrette
spare rib sauce
hoisin sauce
General Tao sauce
Italian dressing
Cesar salad dressing
molasses
sweet & sour sauce
yeast
canned cat & dog food

Here's what to do with that sorghum: drizzle it over cornmeal pancakes
CORNMEAL PANCAKES FOR 2 ( recipe can be doubled )
3/4 cups cornmeal
3/4 cups boiling water
1/2 teaspoon salt
generous 1/3 cup unbleached flour
1/2 tablespoon baking powder
1 egg
1 tablespoon light brown sugar or honey
1 1/2 tablespoons canola oil
1/2 cup milk
Mix cornmeal with salt. Pour boiling water over and set aside.
Sift together flour and baking powder. Set aside.
Beat egg with oil and brown sugar. Stir in milk till well combined, then add to cornmeal. Mix well.
Stir in flour till just combined.
Cook on hot griddle. Serve with lashings of butter and sorghum. Sausage on the side goes well, as do fried apples. I don't eat meat so use Morningstar Farms links instead.
Now that frosty mornings are here, these should go down pretty good.
The best way to eat sorghum is fried grits but I can't find good white grits anymore....

just about everything i thought was odd has been listed! i have evian spray
for my hot flashes, but peppermint is a great idea. i live in arizona, so
i keep my lipsticks there, and, i'm embarrassed to say, cigarettes, too...

Butter section:
-Butter
-baking yeast
-2 soup spoons (for when I have puffy eyes)

1st shelf:
-Brita pitcher
-sm bottle water
-toasted sesame oil
-maple syrup
-aging bottle of blueberry preserves
-Thai red curry paste that I don't know what to do with but it sounded good when I bought it
-aging bottle of horseradish (I keep forgetting to get some more)
-tabasco
-porcini powder (I LOVE this stuff!)
-Joy perfume
-Origins eye depuffer (which I keep forgetting about)

2nd shelf
-club soda
-big bottle of pelegino
-vermouth
-a beer (which will be gone shortly after I get home)
-almond oil
-low-sodium soy sauce (which I hate but I can't quite bring myself to throw it out)
-Pearl River Mushroom soy sauce (THIS is the stuff that I do use)
-HP sauce (fell for an englishman a couple years ago and I thought he'd like it... he's ancient history but the sauce lives on forever)
-A1 sauce
-the everpresent ketchup
-4 kinds of mustard
-taco sauce
-chili sauce

So all in all nothing too terribly odd.

@wasliche-- I didn't know abut storing your birth control in the fridge (was never a problem... still isn't... Viva la Menopause!!!!)

@jerzee-- I have got to try those cherries, they sound wonderful!

I have the usual things...honey mustard, grainy mustard, mayo, ketchup, milk - it won't fit on the shelves of my fridge and didn't know that till we got it home! Also, capers, maple syrup, wine, soy and Worchestershire sauce, potassium injections for the cat's fluid treatments, Rose's lime juice, horseradish, jams and jellies, pickles, stuff like that.

many bottles of Ranch Dressing with only a half squirt in each, "number" birthday candles, some medicines and a partial bottle of flavored Vodka...the rest is pretty much the same as the other posts... and definitely no kimchi..what the heck is that?

And I used up all of my eye of newt and frog toes this past weekend...need to get more!...lol

@Koalaisnotabear, we keep our milk in the main part of the fridge for two reasons:

1) It doesn't stay cold enough on the door.
2) The gallon jug won't fit on our door shelves anyway!

Yes, we do love our milk!

I disagree about a lot of the candy items mentioned here.
I, for one, LOVE the fun-sized (or mini, if you prefer) candies. It's a tiny bit of something insanely tasty, enough to give pleasure without causing tummy pains. When I was a young'un and I went trick-or-treating, one house gave out mini Clark bars. Yum-o-delish! I polished those off first.
I think the chewy peanut butter kisses taste absolutely divine.
Candy corn, I think is plenty of tasty, as are the candy pumpkins made of candy-corn base. Think little dollops of hardened cake-frosting.
As for apples and raisins, those I didn't mind in the least.

However, some items, I do agree about.
Toothbrushes -- a boring reminder
Religious pamphlets -- disappointing and WEIRD to boot.
Packages of "normal" food -- oh, for crying in Manhattan, what kid wants to receive a can of baked beans or a box of oat bran in his little plastic jack-o-lantern.
One time I received cough drops -- and not the Ludens or Pine Bros or Smith Bros or F&Fs, which are tasty and could pass as hard candy (as can the Ricolas). These were nasty little green pellets that were -- and tasted like -- MEDICATION. Like I said, for crying in Manhattan! For crying in Manhattan, Chicago, and San Francisco

Oh well. At least I didn't get a ROCK