Serious Eats: clemon79's Profile

Cake Pops

Mmm, yeah. Especially the spam flavored ones. Those are my favorite.

You've had those, right, OP? Certainly you seem to know something about the subject of spam.

(How do you report inappropriate posts, anyhow?)

Pizza Girl: Statistical Analysis of a Delivery Shift: Part 1

I'd like this column a lot more if it wasn't a constant stream of "Tip me! Tip me! Even if the service sucks, you should ALWAYS tip me! And tip lots!"

But Adam's right: nobody makes me read it.

clemon79 at 2:28PM on 04/30/10

From Talk

What would you do with Pesto?

Lord. What WOULDN'T I do?

clemon79 at 2:05PM on 04/22/10

From Talk

Bob Evans Sausage Gravy Machine

Not to get all holier-than-thou about it, but sausage gravy is ridiculously easy to make at home. Not saying that everyone SHOULD all of the time, 'cuz sometimes you don't wanna cook, and I totally appreciate that. But when something is that easy to make at home, tolerating substandard forms of it when dining out is not acceptable. :)

clemon79 at 1:41PM on 04/20/10

From Slice

My Pizza Oven: Pizzahacker, the Renegade Pieman of San Francisco

He had me until his holier-than-thou "fuck you" statement, at which point I immediately starting rooting for the authorities to blast this guy out of existence.

clemon79 at 3:31PM on 03/25/10

From Talk

Home Made Mozzarella: Some resources of the pasta filata process

We tried making fresh mozzarella last weekend. Epic, complete FAIL. Those people with their "Oh it's so EASY!!" 30-minute recipes online can blow me. Mozzarella is now one of those things I will buy cheerfully at the store, and I might even go out of my way to buy the stuff from the companies that treat the cows the worst just to spite those "ANYONE can do it!!!" morons.

clemon79 at 4:31PM on 03/15/10

From Serious Eats

Cook the Book: 'Mad Hungry'

All about the crappy Velveeta dip. Pound of Velveeta, can of no-beans chili, bunch of green onions chopped up. Mix, melt. Yum!

(Winternutt's variant is interesting and equally unhealthy. I approve. Bravo. :))

clemon79 at 1:45PM on 02/01/10

From Talk

Buttermilk in pancakes?

I was in fact thinking of making a single batch of AB's Pancake Mix tonight to have with some sausages for dinner. (I was actually in the mood for pancakes before I saw that Good Eats just recently.)

clemon79 at 4:26PM on 03/02/09

From Serious Eats

In Videos: Slap Chop Infomercial Featuring Vince, the Enthusiastic Host

The appealing thing about Vince is that it feels like they plucked him straight off of a product demo at the retail pavillion at the county fair. (And I'm sure that's exactly what they're going for; that's why he wears the headset.) For some reason I always found those perversely entertaining.

clemon79 at 1:24PM on 01/07/09

From Talk

Ok, I will follow with..how do you say Jalapeno

"Earl." It's OIL, Anne. Friggin' OIL.

clemon79 at 1:19PM on 01/07/09

From Serious Eats

Bay Area Eats: Pho To Chau in Mountain View, California

"You can give me a fork, or I can fumble with the chopsticks, which will make my meal take three times as long to eat, and keep your table occupied when you could be seating more customers at it and making more money as a result. Your choice."

Fortunately, my pho place of choice seems to understand this rather simple concept.

clemon79 at 3:09PM on 12/30/08

From Talk

What to feed to a big baby.

Salads. Since he's a giant douche, he can make his own vinagrette.

clemon79 at 3:01AM on 10/14/08

From Recipes

Cook the Book: Taco-Fried Chicken

I have to say, it annoys me that the word "whimsical" is thrown around so easily to describe someone who, near as I can tell, is a complete and total asshat.

clemon79 at 2:28PM on 09/30/08

From Serious Eats

Top 10 Songs Using Sexually Suggestive Food Metaphors

How in the hell does "Pour Some Sugar On Me" not make that list, and M.C. Friggin' Lyte does?

clemon79 at 2:04AM on 08/07/08

From Talk

Doughnut Plant Throwdown

I dunno. If I found out that Food Network lied to me about their intentions, only to have some blowhard waltz in and challenge me to an impromptu cookfight stacked in his favor, I'd be pretty irritated too.

clemon79 at 4:24PM on 07/02/08

From Talk

Tyler Florence Ultimate Potato Salad

So in other words, you don't like barbecued fried food...so you ordered barbecued fried food, and then wonder why you didn't like it?

I'm not defending Applebee's by any stretch, but that's just idiotic.

clemon79 at 1:02PM on 06/25/08

From Talk

Domestic goddess Martha Stewart banned from the UK! Is it FAIR?

If it means she stays there and doesn't come back here? By all means, let her in. :)

clemon79 at 3:53PM on 06/20/08

From Talk

What is Pho?

Take liquid soul from Heaven itself, add rice noodles and raw flank steak strips (which cook in the aforementioned soul), and put it in a bowl.

clemon79 at 7:28PM on 05/22/08

From Talk

My favorite way to eat an egg is ____

I strongly dislike any preparation of egg that does not first involve the vigorous mixing of the yolk and the white. I'll put up with it in the case of a fast-food breakfast sandwich or something, but I won't like it.

clemon79 at 2:40PM on 05/16/08

From Talk