bgweil’s Profile
Recent Comments
The Nasty Bits: Southern Fried Gizzards
Is there an alternate marinade than the buttermilk? I keep a kosher house, but think I would love the chewier texture of the marinated rather than stewed. . .
tia!
What Weird Family Foods Did You Grow Up Thinking Were Normal?
Wow. . .mine seem so tame now. . .
-Cream cheese and jelly sandwiches
-Mac and Cheese was always elbows with cottage cheese, and we had it on nights my laywer dad had night court - still my fave comfort food.
-Cow tongue and chopped chicken liver on rye bread sandwiches - delicious!
A Father's Office Burger for Father's Day
While the Jew in me shudders at the use of Challah for a bacon-chi, the foodie wonders if the bread was strong enough to withstand the awesomeness of the compote/burger juice?
Happy father's day!
See more comments by bgweil ยป
Recent Posts
bgweil hasn't written a post yet.
Recent Favorites
bgweil hasn't favorited a post yet.
Recent Polls
bgweil hasn't answered any polls yet.
Recent Quizzes
bgweil hasn't taken any quizzes yet.
Recent Comments | Response to Comments
When Is It Socially Acceptable to Share Food?
My husband and I share regularly - especially if one is having a dish that is so awesome the other must try it to understand - but I generally prefer serving a small sample on the bread plate, as opposed to just forking on in.
Like any social situation, there are times to share, and times to keep to one's plate, and the trick is being able to tell the difference.
Say - are you going to eat those fries? =)
The Nasty Bits: Southern Fried Gizzards
Is there an alternate marinade than the buttermilk? I keep a kosher house, but think I would love the chewier texture of the marinated rather than stewed. . .
tia!
What Weird Family Foods Did You Grow Up Thinking Were Normal?
Wow. . .mine seem so tame now. . .
-Cream cheese and jelly sandwiches
-Mac and Cheese was always elbows with cottage cheese, and we had it on nights my laywer dad had night court - still my fave comfort food.
-Cow tongue and chopped chicken liver on rye bread sandwiches - delicious!
A Father's Office Burger for Father's Day
While the Jew in me shudders at the use of Challah for a bacon-chi, the foodie wonders if the bread was strong enough to withstand the awesomeness of the compote/burger juice?
Happy father's day!
Regional Fast Food Chains
I lived in Columbus, OH for a few years, and have since moved back east, to Boston, MA.
While I'm thrilled to be back in the land of Dunkin Donuts (Tim Horton's coffee is absolute crap, their donuts are very mediocre, and their apple fritter is awful, espeically in comparison to the lovely apple filled at DD), I admit to missing Steak n Shake. . . DH and I would end up there after a show or other outing, and would get two different melts and share 'em. . .shoestring fries. . .and really good malteds. . .
Oh, and Waffle House. . . it's difficult to get good grits up here in New England. . .
Help me remember this breakfast cereal
@Donnamarie - HFCS is kosher, just not kosher for passover because it is a corn product. . .if you're really interested in the reasoning, google "kitnyot". . .
I miss Strawberry Rice Krispies. . . we were allowed to have one small dixie cup of it as a snack every once in a while. . .ooooh, so good. . .shaking strawberry quik powder over regular rice krispies is close, but not the same. . .
Dinner Tonight: Orecchiette with Broccoli, Anchovies, and Chiles
I'm also interested in a good substitution for anchovies - I'm allergic to fish.
Serious Passover Eats
MMinNYC -
Green beans are "controversial" during passover. . .just fyi:
The Kitniyot Controversy.
Since the Middle Ages, Ashkenazim, but not Sephardim, traditionally haven't eaten various foods known as "kitniyot" -- often mistranslated as "legumes" (the word itself comes from the root meaning "small," so "bits" might be a better translation) -- during Pesah. Kitniyot are not hametz and Ashkenazim who observe the ban on kitniyot are free to attend a seder at which they are served and eat food cooked in the same pot as kitniyot.
Which foods exactly are kitniyot is a matter of some dispute, but generally kitniyot are small fleshless seeds of annual plants that someone might make into flour, and more precisely you must consult the list of your preferred halachic expert. Usually, lentils and dried beans, dried peas, rice, corn, sesame seeds and caraway seeds are kitniyot; but quinoa, potatoes and coffee are not. Peanuts, fresh peas and fresh green beans are controversial.
The ban is considered a minhag -- a custom -- rather than a mitzvah and was called "foolish" by some early authorities, who note that it has no Talmudic basis, that the traditional justifications for the rule don't match what is actually classified as kitniyot, and that it distracts from the more important aspects of the holiday, such as, "do not oppress the stranger for you were strangers in Egypt." Most Ashkenazi Orthodox and traditional authorities disagree, on the ground that traditional stringencies should be accepted. However, due to these disagreements, some authorities say the kitniyot category should not be expanded to include:
new (or New World) foods (such as, e.g., peanuts, permitted by R. Moshe Feinstein, the leading modern Orthodox posek (legal decisionmaker)), or
derivative foods (such as oils made from kitniyot, permitted by Litvak poskim a century ago (e.g., the Netziv of Volozhin) but considered suspect in many Orthodox circles today).
Other authorities, as one might expect, go the other direction. For example, the Remah, Orach Chaim 464, bars mustard because it is "similar" to kitniyot (although he permits anise and coriander seeds, id 453.)! Corn, despite its New World origin, seems to be resolutely fixed in the kitniyot category on the ground that its name in Yiddish (korn) is the same as rye. (Click for a detailed discussion of the traditional commentaries and some modern (Orthodox) views, a detailed dvar on kitniyot including many citations, Aish HaTorah's explanation of the kitniyot rules or a funny description of the problems of frum Pesah shopping in Israel).
The Conservative movement in the US as a general principal accepts the Talmudic view that it is forbidden to create stringencies (humras). On this issue, however, it officially bars kitniyot generally, but allows peanuts and kitniyot-derived oils (see the RA Pesah Guide). The Conservative responsa's reasoning is not entirely clear (as is the case with everything regarding kitniyot): if the idea is not to expand a "foolish tradition," then presumably all the New World beans and grains - - including corn -- should be permissible along with all modern derivative products (oils, sweeteners). If the idea is that peanuts are not "legumes," as the Responsa states, the problem is deeper. First, unlike many other kitniyot, peanuts actually are legumes. More to the point, kitniyot is not a biologically based category (the traditional list of kitniyot includes grains (rice) and dried beans (peas, lentils), but allows fresh string beans). If the category is meant to reflect things that someone might confuse with prohibited flours (as the Smak contended in 13c France) or grains that are sometimes mixed with prohibited grains (as the Beit Yosef explained in 16c Israel), perhaps rice, corn and lentils ought to be barred, but why peas, corn oil or corn sweeteners? And, in a day and age when few people make their own flour, why bar whole rice, corn and lentils, none of which resembles flour at all? Indeed, is mixing really plausible in a modern inspected factory? Most importantly, why not ban potatoes, which Ashkenazim actually do use in pumpernickel bread?
The Masorti (Conservative) movement in Israel ruled that the bar on kitniyot should not be observed in Israel at all (click for responsa text in Hebrew or English summary (Va'ad Ha Halakha, Vol. 3, R. David Golinkin)) because it is foolish and creates unnecessary distinctions between Sephardim and Ashkenazim and the majority custom (in Israel) ought to be followed. Rabbi Michael Lerner and Benjamin Mordecai Ben-Baruch urge the same result for the similar reasons in the US. Click for Lerner and Ben-Baruch opinions.
-- Daniel Greenwood
I don't know if this would be important to your guests. My parent's would never have green beans during passover.
Thanks so much for all the links above - I'm hosting a seder for the first time ever, and I'm a bit freaked out. Now that I've got Martha to guide me, I feel much better. =)
When Is It Socially Acceptable to Share Food?
I'm a sharer. With family and some friends I will share any of mine and try any of theirs, often finishing the left over bits or cleaning up other peoples plates. Sometimes I steal food from others without asking, but knowing that those people won't mind. Sharing goes beyond food, and extends to utensils in my family, I know its not for everyone, but it works out great for us.
When Is It Socially Acceptable to Share Food?
If I'm eating with friends or my boyfriend (which is almost always who I'm eating with when I'm out), then I'll offer a taste of whatever I'm eating, ESPECIALLY if I like it. Share the wealth! I have like-minded friends, so they usually offer back - if they don't, I don't even usually notice. I may ask for a small taste if it's something I really want to try, but I'm not militantly pro- or anti-sharing.
When Is It Socially Acceptable to Share Food?
sharing does not bother me at all...just DON"T eat from my personal dish in front of me...or try to feed me off your fork/chopsticks..I will leave !!!
When Is It Socially Acceptable to Share Food?
One of my favorite "shared" meals was at NOPA in SF. All three of us agreed upon three dishes...we would eat and then say switch and we would move the plate to the next person...probably not for everyone but so good for us!!! I love eating with good friends.
When Is It Socially Acceptable to Share Food?
It seems unnatural for me not to share, but then I grew up in a family where sharing food was the norm. It was very weird one time when I went out with a group of friends to a place I knew had mediocre big portions (I was outvoted on where to go) and asked if anyone wanted to split a dish with me and they all looked at me like I was insane. I shut-up and at the end no one finished their meal.
There are some unspoken rules to polite sharing though. If you ask, make sure you have something to give back. My mom is the queen of breaking this rule, she'll always be like I'm not that hungry I'll just have a bite of yours and of course half the time she's paying so it's not like anyone can say no. It was especially obnoxious when we were in Italy where you're trying to taste as much of everything in the short amount of time you have. I think this stems from when my sister and I were kids and would never finish our meals, but we're not kids anymore.
Another is don't force anyone to order what you want just to share. My littlest sister is famous for doing this and she gets away with it because stepmom wants her to eat. I was amazed at how she dictated what my stepmom and dad would eat and when she turned to me I was just like uh uh I know what I'm getting.
Ask ask ask is the third. There are certain occasions where you don't have to (my sister and I never do when we go out to eat together, but we've been doing that a long time) but always err on the side of asking. It's just good to be polite.
Different occasions call for different types of sharing. Now that I've moved I've got to find new dining companions who like to share.
When Is It Socially Acceptable to Share Food?
@janaatwg , you or someone close to her should really take your friend aside and tell her that her behavior is alienating her friends. Maybe she is not fully aware.
When Is It Socially Acceptable to Share Food?
First of all I think one should never 'steal' off another's plate. Silverware incl chopsticks were originally weapons to defend one's food, so permission should be asked before reaching over, unless permission was firmly previously established.
I have a problem with 'plate envy' so I may choose to order the same thing as another, because why order something else, only to then desire the other's plate more than my own. So right on @ksimmy. I usually interview my table mates before I make a choice, unless I had one of those lucky days where I have a craving that the restaurant can fulfill.
I am happy to have you share, and may put the brakes on if you are eating most of mine, and none of yours (which I don't desire either).
I can't stand all that germ phobic behavior of 'you can have that corner, I didn't touch it'. If you are that phobic you are unsuitable for sharing I think.
I love family style because my preference is usually a little taste of everything. Getting Chinese take-out with my mate is a challenge 'cause he just orders and eats his one or two things and doesn't want any of mine. (He is a reluctant sharer-but has been trainable.) So that's makes for less variety. I solve this issue by ordering 3 dishes for me, me, and me and eating the leftovers for lunch over a few days. Problem solved.
Sharing is nice but what is even nicer is respecting people's eating preferences incl wether they share or not (and not incl. someone forbidding for you to order the same as them).
When Is It Socially Acceptable to Share Food?
Bottom line, there are many factors if you should share or not. They are...
1. The people you are dining with
2. What kind of restaurant you are at
3. how hungry you are
4. how good the dish is that you ordered.
And that rule about ordering the same dish? Order what you want, get what you are craving! Don't deny yourself anything! Especially when you are paying for it!
When Is It Socially Acceptable to Share Food?
Sharing is the standard for me and my husband. We almost never order the same dish. Usually upon their arrival we each taste both of the dishes. If one of us strongly prefers the other's dish, we switch. If we both really like both dishes, we each eat about half and then switch plates. If we both like the same dish and both really dislike the other (which is infrequent), my husband insists that I eat the better dish. We didn't concoct this rigid-sounding regime - it has simply evolved over many years of wedded bliss. A perfect system (ok, less perfect for him)!
When Is It Socially Acceptable to Share Food?
I prefer sharing, though I may be a bit neurotic about making sure there is enough for everyone to try everything. After the Mythbusters episode about "double dipping" I'm much less concerned about someone else's fork.
When Is It Socially Acceptable to Share Food?
I like family style meals and usually like sharing. The only exception to this is when I go to a tapas restaurant...I always feel like there is not enough food and everything is so tasty but there is just so little of it!! I get too stressed out-I just want to ask the server to bring me the rest of whatever I ordered that little taste is NOT enough.
When Is It Socially Acceptable to Share Food?
In some ways I agree with @beersnob and@redfish, but I can share when asked politely. No stabbing. If I have been to the establishment before and want to order something that I really love then I may not want to give it all away so please order a serving for yourself.
I have a friend that will drive you to distraction as well as myself. We plan a gals night out and she arrives a bit late and announces that she can't really hang out with us and she'll just have a bite of ours. That is beyond the pale of sharing and it is hard because every other part of her is so great. She gets included less and less and that is sad. The rule is to, at the very least, order something that you can share if you are asking for some of someone elses food.
When Is It Socially Acceptable to Share Food?
Sharing is permissible any time people agree to share.
When Is It Socially Acceptable to Share Food?
I have one friend for whom most of our eating outs (or occasional takeouts) go thusly: order. eat, eat, eat, eat, switch. eat, eat, eat, eat, switch ... we wind up the meal with both of our plates somewhere near the center of the table as we pick over them ... However, she's about the only person I'll do that with. In my family if we go out we usually ask for a bite, and it's always given ... or we proactively offer a bit of our own as a hint that we want some of theirs.
When Is It Socially Acceptable to Share Food?
Sharing food is alright, it promotes being at ease with the person. If you dont like to share, thats alright I really dont want to fight off a person who acts like a dog anyway.
When Is It Socially Acceptable to Share Food?
My boyfriend and I go out to eat often with our two best friends, and we always try to order four different meals, so as to all taste everything. This seems totally normal to me, but at the same time, I would never do it with someone else (even sharing with our families is off limits).
When Is It Socially Acceptable to Share Food?
Sharing food is beyond tacky. It's something you do as a child, with your family, behind closed doors. The thought of a group of people's dirty cutlery going into my food is enough to make me barf. If you want to try what I'm eating, you should have ordered it. Or better yet, order a different entree next time.
If I'm with a group of people that I know will expect me to share my food, I ask the waitress to split my entree in half and go from there. Otherwise, it's no dice.
When Is It Socially Acceptable to Share Food?
I grew up with a dad who would take pieces of food he wanted off mom's plate without asking. She is a picky eater and this would drive her absolutely nuts. By proxy, it started to drive me nuts too. She isn't someone who takes pleasure in food, she sees eating as a chore. So if someone takes the one bite she was actually interested in.... Anyway, my husband knows not to take without asking. He learned the hard way when he snatched a fry. I'll share bites, but like others have said I order what I order for a reason.
When Is It Socially Acceptable to Share Food?
When is it socially acceptable NOT to share food? Assuming everyone's mom taught "sharing is caring", I find it hurtful when people even consider not sharing. You don't share, you don't come to dinners.
When Is It Socially Acceptable to Share Food?
My husband grew up in a strickly no-sharing household, not even sharing bowls of salsa when eating Mexican food. I grew up in a very "eat-whatever-you-can-reach home." I knew we were getting engaged when he offered me some red beans and rice from his plate :)
When Is It Socially Acceptable to Share Food?
I only share with family members. And vice versa. My son will order something and offer it to me. Sometimes I will try it, sometimes I won't.
I do the same with him. We rarely order the same thing to eat when we go out. Also, I was raised where family style eating wasn't the norm. Later in life I saw the advantages of it and embraced it. But when I am with anyone that isn't family, I pretty much revert back to being very selfish with my food. I don't ask for what they are eating, nor do I share what I am eating with them.
When Is It Socially Acceptable to Share Food?
Ditacting to someone what they should order is just not right, unless it is previously agreed upon.
Other than that, life is too short; eat what you want!
When Is It Socially Acceptable to Share Food?
I haven't seen much from the prepatory side of things but as some one who's worked in a restaurant before it's annoying as HELL for a table of 6 to order one thing from the whole menu.
Especially when they realize they're ordering full meals with sides and not appetizers to which they leave 1/2 to 2/3's full plates. It bogs the kitchen down, is wasteful and defeats the purpose of a large menu.
The point is to get you to come back and try something DIFFERENT again and again if you like our style!
When Is It Socially Acceptable to Share Food?
Oh man, this is my biggest food pet peeve.
Never ever go into my plate unless I offer you a piece of my food, even than don't go into my plate, I will cut you a piece of what I am offering and put it on your plate.
I honestly don't know where this comes from as I'm a pretty giving person and have no issues sharing otherwise, but the picking from the plate has bothered me for as long as I can remember, even as a kid.
There are situations when my BF and I are out with friends and we all agree to order family style or to share a bunch of appetizers, that's fine, but actually taking food off of my plate without being offered is just a NO NO.
My BF and I share food off each others plates at home, but never when we're out, cause we dont want to open that up for others at the table.
When Is It Socially Acceptable to Share Food?
@AnnieNT - Amen!
Recent Posts
bgweil hasn't written a post yet.
Recent Favorites
bgweil hasn't favorited a post yet.
Polls
bgweil hasn't answered any polls yet.
Quizzes
bgweil hasn't taken any quizzes yet.
My husband and I share regularly - especially if one is having a dish that is so awesome the other must try it to understand - but I generally prefer serving a small sample on the bread plate, as opposed to just forking on in.
Like any social situation, there are times to share, and times to keep to one's plate, and the trick is being able to tell the difference.
Say - are you going to eat those fries? =)