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Nick, sorry man, but yea, Heartland Brewery is just ok. Still want to try HB...!

Nick, is that orange sign outside the home of the HB imposter? They mention the potato roll right on it...

I'm with you on the cooking method of these burgers - completely deplorable. They may as well just microwave the thing and be done with it.

Very entertaining review! What a tragic meal and I loved the archival photo. That should be framed somewhere. Keep up the good work, Damon.

on top of what seemed like a middling burger, it always steams me when i asks for medium rare and you take a bite and there isn't a hint of pink meat to be found. personally, i'd rather have my burger be on the rarer side when i order medium rare that for it to be slightly "overcooked"... from your picture it seemed that your burger was at least medium. maybe more over-cooked than that....

and on this side discussion on beef... i think all should agree that farm is preferred to factory and anything we can do as consumers to encourage more farm-beef, the cheaper it will become (relatively speaking) and the better burgers we will all be eating.

I enjoyed the post, Damon-- and particularly your nostalgic take on time and place. The beef/burger debate is a mildly unnerving one for me though not a deal breaker. Regardless of its origin, farm or factory, a poor end result is just that. And just about as bad in my view is an overcooked patty.

@sticky wicket: I thought about adding cheese...but it's too late by this point. Fail. Pretend this is the poll for "What are your favorite toppings that aren't cheese or condiments?"

I've had ham on a burger once before. Ham and bacon on top of the patty. It's not bad at all. Adds a good saltiness, but you need to expect it, or I can see it being very off-putting.

It has to be French Doux de Montagne cheese. It says so here Pork cheeseburger with avocado :-)

glad to see HB in there...i was afriad i was the only one who dug their burger. they get mucho points for using the potato roll too!

Funny you should mention Rockwell's, jess8328.

Within the past week, I've eaten at both Rockwell's and Lucky's (though at the Hell's Kitchen location).

The meals came to the same price (10 and change) for a burger, fries and soda combo.

Lucky's was good, comparable to Shake Shack and much less crowded, but I didn't appreciate them not asking if I wanted lettuce or tomato (I didn't), and the shop itself was kinda dingy. I appreciated getting a lot more fries than I would have at Shake Shack. I also (thanks to my poor budgeting at a street fair) was a little short on change and they told me not to worry about it. That was nice. I'd eat there if I was with a friend, but the next time I go for a burger, I'll go to the Shack, they're a dollar eighty nine cheaper and closer to a big concentration of cute puppies.

Rockwells offers "boring" burgers (their words, not mine) and "mix-in" burgers. Their fries are delightful. The mix-in burgers (up to four mixins, including bacon, cheese or veggies, and your choice of sauce) are cheaper and therefore a better deal than the boring burgers but to those who prefer to have cheese ON rather than IN their burgers it can be a little disconcerting. Mine TASTED like it had bleu cheese, onion and bacon in it but maybe it was just flavoring. It was tasty and the place was cute, but again, I'd rather go to The Shack. Unless it's raining.

This was one of the places we ate while we were in NY this spring. We weren't impressed. It was Ok, but won't go there when we return to NY. Will probably try 5 Napkin down the street.

Glad you got to try it Robyn. I have tried Lucky's twice since emailing you.

A week after they opened I ordered delivery. I asked for medium rare, but received a well done hockey puck that had as much cow flavor as a piece of leather (I assume.)

Not to judge unfairly on a possible service hickup in their first week, I went back on Friday and ordered takeout. Obviously, takeout and delivery are not the best for burgers but I love just a few blocks away. This time I wasn't screwing leaving anything to chance - I ordered it rare. This probably was on the rare side of med-rare. It was pretty tasty, but yeah it was no Shake Shack. Good fresh-tasting pickles and onions, good condiments like the special sauce and the chipotle mayo. All in all, pretty decent.

As you pointed out, I'd be better of going to Shake Shack or trying Bills (still need to try it, will ask for extra juicy), IF I have the time. Thing is, the Shack isn't right between my subway and my apartment, so I will probably pick this up again sometime just because of the convenience factor.

The shake was pretty standard, but huge. Even diners usually give you a $5-6 shake in a 16 ounce cup. This was a full 20 ounce thick shake.

I liked the fries a lot. Better than the Shack. Same fresh-cut crinkle cut fries, but Lucky's had a much more real potato flavor to me.