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What strange things are in the door of your fridge?
Aside from the usual 3 different ketchups, 4 mustards, hot sauce, different types of Asian condiments...
I have a bottle of eye wash that I like to keep cold, way more soothing this way.
Some vitamins, some Aloe Gel.
Finally, sad but true. A pretty pricey bottle of champagne that was given to us when we got engaged back in June, neither of us really like champagne.
Elegant and Easy Gourmet Gefilte Fish Pâté
In step 3 it says to beat on medium speed for 15 minutes, could that be wrong? Seems like way to long.
Cookbook Recommendations Needed
Garvey, you are correct, I do need to change his habits more than anything. He's half Filipino, so white rice has always been a big part of his diet. I have removed all the rice from my house and will only cook Quinoa now as many tell me it's much healthier. I think a lot of the issues come from starchy sides, which we were both just used to always having, him being Filipiono- rice, me being Russian- potatoes. I have turned to more beans and healthier grains the last few weeks, like Quinoa and Buckweat, so I hope this will help.
Your totally correct about this massive calorie intake at lunch time, I really have to convince him to start taking lunch with him to work. Part of the issue is that he hates to carry any sort of anything in the morning because his commute is so long, wont even consider a man bag let alone a lunch box. I guess I just have to convince him that if he's really serious about loosing the weight he has start making some major changes.
Supermarket Sunday, here we come! I'll be making him lunch all next week, do or die. I just want to see for myself if he looses any weight if I make him lunch all week. Maybe I just need to take him to Bed Bath and Beyond and have him choose his own lunch carry all, than he would likely remember to take it if he liked it.
Wish me luck.
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Recent Comments | Response to Comments
Is dating a picky eater a dealbreaker for anyone?!
I'm with tapioca on this one. I think it will only get worse. If you have gone into adulthood still being a picky eater I think it has become ingrained as part of your personality.
I have dated a few guys who were picky eaters, or had some food issues because they were fat kids and as fit adults they saw food as the enemy. I love food, I love to cook, and when you are sitting down to a nice meal that you put effort into cooking, and the person across from you is turning up their nose or just pushing things to the side, it is very upsetting. You will never get used to the faces that he makes, or the rejection of the food you put in front of him, it will not ever feel better to you, or get any easier.
My boyfriend and I both have foods that we don't like, and we both have foods that we just can't eat. He doesn't like melted cheesy dishes, or sour cream, so I keep those things out of recipes and use them as garnishes is I want them for myself. He loves Mussels, but I just can't stomach them, but whenever he has a craving I make him a big pot of them. It's one thing to not like certain foods, but when you have a picky eater that just doubles the stress level.
Dave and I love food and it's hard enough figuring out what we want to eat if we go out to dinner. Where do you even go out with a picky eater?
If cooking is a big part of your life and you get a lot of joy from it (like I do), you should think hard about being with a man that can't at least appreciate trying to enjoy this part of your life that truly makes you happy.
What strange things are in the door of your fridge?
Aside from the usual 3 different ketchups, 4 mustards, hot sauce, different types of Asian condiments...
I have a bottle of eye wash that I like to keep cold, way more soothing this way.
Some vitamins, some Aloe Gel.
Finally, sad but true. A pretty pricey bottle of champagne that was given to us when we got engaged back in June, neither of us really like champagne.
Elegant and Easy Gourmet Gefilte Fish Pâté
In step 3 it says to beat on medium speed for 15 minutes, could that be wrong? Seems like way to long.
Cookbook Recommendations Needed
Garvey, you are correct, I do need to change his habits more than anything. He's half Filipino, so white rice has always been a big part of his diet. I have removed all the rice from my house and will only cook Quinoa now as many tell me it's much healthier. I think a lot of the issues come from starchy sides, which we were both just used to always having, him being Filipiono- rice, me being Russian- potatoes. I have turned to more beans and healthier grains the last few weeks, like Quinoa and Buckweat, so I hope this will help.
Your totally correct about this massive calorie intake at lunch time, I really have to convince him to start taking lunch with him to work. Part of the issue is that he hates to carry any sort of anything in the morning because his commute is so long, wont even consider a man bag let alone a lunch box. I guess I just have to convince him that if he's really serious about loosing the weight he has start making some major changes.
Supermarket Sunday, here we come! I'll be making him lunch all next week, do or die. I just want to see for myself if he looses any weight if I make him lunch all week. Maybe I just need to take him to Bed Bath and Beyond and have him choose his own lunch carry all, than he would likely remember to take it if he liked it.
Wish me luck.
Cookbook Recommendations Needed
Thanks everyone for the advise. For those who are interested in more details; When Dave and I started dating over 5 years ago, he weighed 135lb (he's 5"9) he was a toothpick, way too thin. Over the last few years since he started working a desk job he has gained about 45lb. He refused to belive that he was getting older and his metabolism was slowing down, up until the last 20 lb he was still eating as if he was 20 not 34.
I honestly didn't care about his weight much until I noticed that he was becoming sluggish and unhappy. At first he thought it was awesome that he was finally able to gain weight because that was always a problem for him, but as he's gotten bigger it's no longer fun or cute.
The reason I turned to all of you is because I dont want for him to go on a "DIET", he is very good about exercising daily, and we both know the basics of nutrition enough to know what he should and shouldn't be eating. But what I really needed where some good recipes to help me along.
arm1970- I like you idea of the bento box, but we haven't had much luck with bringing lunch from home, half the time when I pack him a lunch he forgets it in the fridge. But I think I will have to get more diligent about him taking lunch to work, because that's where he's eating all his calories, BBQ, Sandwiches, and Italian food from Aurthor Ave in the Bronx.
To make things a bit more complicated in our house; I was sick this passed Spring with some intestinal issues. I have always been petite and hovered around the 100lb mark, when I got sick I dipped from abt 98lb to 82lb in a matter of 2 weeks, it was very scary. So the last months have been a mission for me to gain the weight back and keep the weight on.
So you see, one person trying to gain, the other person trying to loose, and I am the sole person cooking. I really need healthy meals more than diet meals, that way we can both eat the same things (in different portions) and achieve our weight goals.
What's for Dinner? 09/03
Last night we split a loaf of homemade garlic bread with some salami on the side.
Tonight maybe we will finish up the Greek style pasta salad from Tuesday night. Bow tie pasta, tomatoes, olives, feta, fresh parsley and some chicken breast.
Might toast up some pita in the oven or on the grill pan to go with it.
When Is It Socially Acceptable to Share Food?
Oh man, this is my biggest food pet peeve.
Never ever go into my plate unless I offer you a piece of my food, even than don't go into my plate, I will cut you a piece of what I am offering and put it on your plate.
I honestly don't know where this comes from as I'm a pretty giving person and have no issues sharing otherwise, but the picking from the plate has bothered me for as long as I can remember, even as a kid.
There are situations when my BF and I are out with friends and we all agree to order family style or to share a bunch of appetizers, that's fine, but actually taking food off of my plate without being offered is just a NO NO.
My BF and I share food off each others plates at home, but never when we're out, cause we dont want to open that up for others at the table.
What to do with Roasted Beets
Coarse grate 1 large beet,
Finely mince 1 garlic clove,
4-5 walnuts chopped coarse,
Mix all together in a bowl dress with enough oil to moisten, season with salt and pepper to taste.
Buying Eggs From The Greenmarket
I have bought eggs at the Union Square market on numerous occasions, I can't remember the name of the farm, young girls always run the booth. I have purchased eggs from them in the summer, and have never had any issues with them.
They have eggs on the table, but they also have eggs in coolers behind them, if you are worried I would ask for the eggs from the cooler. Also I tend to go to the market early in the summer, it's sort of a drag since I live in Brooklyn and have to take the subway in, but it's quiet and you have your pick of the freshest produce.
Spare Ribs help
The technique I use is low and slow in the oven. I put a light amount of spice rub on the ribs, towards the last 1/2 hour start basting with some sort of sauce, 2 or 3 times. Than I let them caramelize under the broiler for a few minutes towards the end. Since I have a small kitchen in Brooklyn and no outdoor space, this is how I have to make ribs. But I've been told over and over again how much softer and more flavorful my oven ribs are than BBQ'd ribs. Plus this is a technique I dont mind even in the summer, though the oven is on for a long time, the heat is low and it doesn't make the place too hot.
I have seen some chefs using cola in roasts and ribs and such and have always wanted to try it. The recipe in the link below uses a similar technique to what I do in the oven, though I bake them dry, the cola in the pan sounds good too. Not so sure about the basting sauce in the recipe, but the seasoning blend for the rub sounds spot on.
Good luck.
http://www.foodnetwork.com/recipes/aaron-mccargo/ribs-with-big-daddy-rub-recipe/index.html
Eaters and eating disorders
I have never had an eating disorder. But just like jo_jo_ba I have always I have always been scrutinized for the way I eat. If I dont like the food, I just wont eat it, it's been that way since I was a child. I remember when I was in kindergarden my teacher complained to me mom that I wouldn't eat the school lunches, and they made a deal that the teacher would sit with me at lunch time and make sure that I ate.
About 5 years ago I lost a lot of weight due to a hyperactive thyroid. I am petite and have always been fairly slim, so it was visible on my frame. What I hated most was when people would say that they wished they could be as slim as me. My body was going through such mayhem in that year that I found out I had that disease, I hated everyone that made that comment to me. It was so difficult to get back up to a semi healthy weight in the last few years since my digestive system was never the same since the sickness, food has been a real struggle for me.
Just a few weeks ago I was hospitalized, I had become sick but didn't know what was wrong. By doctor finally convinced me to go to the emergency room because I had lost 15 lb in 2 weeks. It turned out that I have colitis. Colitis is a disease of the intestines, at it's worst you get cuts on the intestinal walls which seep out all the nutrients and liquids before they could be absorbed. By the time I went to the hospital I was completely dehydrated, vitamin depleted, and just a general mess.
So now I have a goal of gaining 20 lb, which is harder than it sounds when your body just wont cooperate with you. It has been a challenge every day to figure out how I can cram enough calories in me without overloading my stomach or making it sick with the wrong foods.
I have always wondered myself how many foodies there are out there that have eating issues, be they emotional, or physical. I have eaten out in so long, since there are so many things that I have to watch out for when I am out, that makes me sad.
Western Beef Supermarkets
Thanx, that's exactly the type of comments I was hoping for.
Going Local (When it's not Actually your Neighborhood)
I'm lucky because my BF understands this sort food insanity, we like a lot of the same foods, so he gets to enjoy the bounty too. We live in Brooklyn, NY and don't think anything off going into Manhattan on a weekend for brunch. We live about a 35 minute commute into downtown Manhattan, if that is any indication.
If we find a great food store we will travel to it, pretty much until we get tired of it. Luckily we dont own a car, so we have to contain ourselves to only buying small amounts of food at time.
We really like to shop ethnic stores more than large supermarkets. I've been buying meat recently only from the Turkish grocer, for fish we go to the Asian grocer, for cold cuts we go to the Russian deli. Not all of these places are necessarily amazing bargains, but there is something at every place that is so much better than anything else around. Actually the last few Saturdays the BF and I have taken a 20 minute walk to the Chinese bakery to get dough wrapped hot dogs, he is in love with them and has craved them for breakfast.
There is nothing wrong with traveling for food, shopping, dining or whatever else. Most people in the NY boroughs don't have a super market right next to where they live, I sure don't, the closest supermarket is a 15 minute commute on the subway. My entire childhood my parents drove to the supermarket, than the Costco opened in Long Island, so we drove to Costco so we could buy bulk...I guess everyone just draws the line somewhere. How far would you travel? For what items wont you travel?
Looking for whole rabbit
I've seen rabbit in a few Russian delis in Brooklyn, but they are all ready butchered.
I have never seen one with head, fur and all.
Vacation Cooking
I was just in Florida last month renting a house with some friends. We had a grill though, that helped a lot.
As someone who once lived in Fl, I would suggest that you check the local Publix supermarket for some deals. Most of the prepared deli food is exceptional, breads and pastries are always fresh, I dont know if all of the stores have fried chicken, but I remember the fried chicken being cheaper and tastier than KFC. Also don't hesitate to buy any items that are Publix brand over brand name, there were a few items we got, frozen food, snacks, canned good, etc. and we all thought they were just as good as the name brand products.
From our experience just make easy meals, your on vacation, no one cares what they are eating as long as there is a meal being served. If your kids have sandwiches for lunch every day at school they really wont care, they are used to it. Stock sandwich bread, meats, and cheeses. Buy lettuce, tomatoes, and whatever else your family normally puts on their sandwiches, but make sure to cut everything up right away, so when someone wants a sandwich it will be very easy to put together. Also buy snacks and leave them out if possible, if everyone has access to snacks all day, they wont be so hungry at every meal.
Our main thing was that we didn't want to spend more than 30 minutes in the kitchen making any meal. All meat that we brought was very thinly pounded so it cooked fast, if you want to do fish just buy one long fillet and bake up with lemon and some seasoning. 1 day we peeled and cut enough potatoes for 2 breakfasts, we put the portion for day 2 in a bowl with water and put in the fridge for day 2, that worked really well. Bagels are great for breakfast because you can just put everything on the table and everyone helps themselves. Even though we had a grill one night, we just boiled up some hot dogs and ate them at the table outside (were just all to lazy to fire up the grill), just having the opportunity to eat the hot dogs outside was nice. Rice is good too, we made one big pot, had it with beans one night, and with some sauted veggies second night.
Hope you can enjoy the rest of your vacation!
Valentine's Day Prix Fixe in NYC?
My bf and I are doing an alternative V-Day both to save money and enjoy the day.
We're making reservations for a nice brunch. Brunch is so much less stress than dinner, especially on Valentines day, I hate the atmospheres in restaurants on V-day, it's so expectant.
You can have brunch at some pretty spectacular places in NYC for about $30 a head, I would just research some places to find a menu that suites your taste.
I actually don't understand the reasoning for dinner on Valentines day, it's supposed to be a day when your romantic with your partner. Instead people seek out fancy schmancy dinners, you eat too much, get full and sluggish and the rest of the evening is shot, what's the point.
Which turkey to buy?
The best turkey I've ever made was a Bell and Evans, hands down for taste and moistness. They are expensive but absolutely worth it, in my house we only roast a whole turkey once a year, so I don't feel bad spending the money on a nice bird for the occasion.
Simple and Quick Fall-Inspired Bread
I haven't tried this, but it sounds and looks so good.
http://www.whatgeekseat.com/wordpress/2007/08/04/savory-onion-zucchini-bread/
Should've Known Better
This is the reverse of your question, sorry; I have always bought ceasar dressing in the store, I finally made it from scratch for the first time a few weeks ago.
I don't know, I thought it would be such a hassle to make for some reason.
Anyway, it was so good and easy to make, that I vowed never to buy the store bought again. Store bought isn't even close, not even the expensive fancy pants ones.
How long does it take for you to prepare a Thanksgiving dinner?
The first Thanksgiving meal I prepared was for 12 people, I was doing most of the cooking alone in my small kitchen but made sure to enlist help and handed out some requests.
I had a friend take care of all of the alcohol/drinks. Someone else made a ham. A few people brought some small pies. A few friends came early and helped set up tables and set them.
As for the shopping/cooking it took me 2-3 days. I think the key is not to take all of the responsibility on yourself for a holiday meal. When I decided to prepare Thanksgiving dinner I was very clear with everyone that I would need help, whoever offered to bring something I was more than happy to except and was able to think of something that we might need.
A holiday dinner is so stressful, I really don't know how any one person can do it alone. The only mistake I made was that I didn't enlist anyone for cleanup ahead of time. By the time dinner was over everyone was motionless and I was too exhausted to even load the dishwasher.
Ground Chicken
I make 2 things with ground chicken.
Chicken cutlets-
about 1lb ground chicken, 1 egg, 1/2 cup bread crumbs, small onion grated, salt, pepper, drop of garlic powder, splash of milk.
Mix till combined, form 1/2" thick patties and fry in oil in a non stick pan, about 3-4 min per sides.
Once all are fried, I pour some liquid into the pan (enough to reach about 1/2 way up the cutlets), stock, white wine or even water, if I have capers or olives on hand I chop a few tablespoons up and throw those around the pan into the liquid, cover the pan, turn to low and let simmer for 10-12 min. Serve with a rice or mashed potatoes, also like this cold the next day.
My mom taught me how to make chicken meatballs for soup a while ago, her trick is to cut up some cold butter and mix it into the ground chicken. This gives the fat you need and adds some nice flavor. Always cook the meatballs in a seperate pot so that all of the scum that comes off of the meatballs when boiled doesn't end up in the soup.
It's happening. Running out of things to cook!
My weekday go to meals are any sort of thin cutlets lightly fried+salad, or pasta.
When I'm sick of everything I make paprika chicken thighs.
I buy bone in skinless thighs, season with s/p, without any oil, I fry them up in a heavy cast iron pot, 2-3 min on med/high heat. Take thighs out of pot, saute 1 large sliced onion (for 4 thighs) in whatever fat rendered from the chicken. Once ranslucent I add about 3/4 cup chicken broth, scape bottom of the pan and then add about 1-1.5 teaspoon sweet paprika (I like paprika so I put a good amount, you might put less). I let the broth and onions come up to a boil, than I put the chicken back in the pot, and add some more broth to almost cover everything in the pot. Sometimes I add a bay leaf if I have one on hand, it adds a nice flavor to the broth. Bring to a boil, reduce to a low simmer and cover. Cook on stove top for about 1 hour, even better for 2 hours for fall of the bone chicken, but you have to check the liquid level after an hour. Season again when finished if needed.
This is such a yummy dish, I serve with rice and a veggie, and sauce over the rice. I try to cook it the day before since the actual cooking time is long, also I like to take the fat of the sauce and it only works after it has sat in the fridge. I reheat it in the same pot the next day & it tastes great.
Cook the Book: 'Fat'
chicken liver, so important to have the chicken fat, we free the livers in the chicken fat ,than use the fried skin pieces as a topping for the finished dish.
Proud Cooking Moments
It took me 3 tries to make caramel that tasted and looked good. I've been cooking forever but have always been scared of making caramel, I was very proud when it finally happened.
Is dating a picky eater a dealbreaker for anyone?!
I canNOT stand a picky eater. His attitude will have a negative effect on your love of food and cooking, and might (ohGod) produce picky offspring as well. Life is to be enjoyed in full - to me, especially if you love cooking and eating and have an adventurous outlook on it. Damn right you need someone to fight with over the last piece of cheesecake. Keep looking - somewhere out there is your soulmate who will give you joy in your life.
Is dating a picky eater a dealbreaker for anyone?!
it sounds as if the problem is as much how his pickiness presents itself Vs the actual fact of the pickiness.
you need to negotiate how he goes about tasting and reacting. instead of filling his plate hiding the uneaten, he should take a bite only, then only take more of what he will actually eat. He also must accept that if he rejects what's for dinner, he makes his own substitute.
You, OTOH, have to deal with adjusting your daily cooking to reflect some of his opinions. Cooking can be fun, but the day in day out feeding of your partner & family isn't so much about the fun for you as about the fact that people need to eat. Plus, if he rejects your food in favor or cornflakes or PBJ for days on end, you can't be hurt.
if you someday are having kids, he needs to have learned to reject in a low-key fashion so as not to 'teach' his pickiness to them. I won't go so far as to expect him to sometimes noticeable eat something he is known to dislike, to model polite behaviour. But it would be handy.
PS I was in a relationship in which we had very different food cultures. our inability to appreciate each others standards was but one of many problems. But 3 times a day one or both of of us being annoyed or mad or disappointed sure didn't help. If you cant fine some way to enjoy meals together, some compromises, then hang it up now.
Is dating a picky eater a dealbreaker for anyone?!
We all have our food preferences. I don't like fruit mixed with foods that are supposed to be savory, savory stuff with raisins, or chocolate mixed with fruit (though separately, I love them both). Other than that, I'll eat anything at least once, maybe twice (I believe it second chances for everyone and everything). I think the thing that bothers you the most is that he doesn't share your passion for food and he doesn't want to even try. The point is: can you live with this? or will it be a thorn in your side that digs deeper with time? If you can't make peace with yourself on this, then walk away. If you can deal with it and have it not affect your dignity and self-worth, then I don't see that it's a real problem.
Is dating a picky eater a dealbreaker for anyone?!
My first wife hated eggs, bananas, mustard, my watermelon fruit salad, my top secret recipe 6 grain pancakes, didn't like breakfast in general. Of course, I'm more of a breakfast cook, but her idea of cooking is heating up canned soup (mac and cheese was a highlight of her cooking skills). In fact, when we first got together, the only thing she ate was McDonald's cheeseburgers and fries. (I did get her to eat fresh cut up strawberries.) So when we split, I vowed that I would avoid dating picky eaters.
So of course, my last (I'm planning it that way, anyhow) wife is a great cook - an amateur chef IMHO, but she's vegan (and I'm allergic to the entire legume family). We have great fun trying to create dishes that we can both eat (the entree is always veggies, the protein ends up a side dish for each of us), and she has decided that fried rice with eggs is ok (she is having trouble getting enough protein in her diet). And as a bonus, she loves my pancakes (which I modify by substituting coconut or almond milk for sour milk and/or yogurt), and never complains about my potatoes.
So, as to your problem, drag the bum into the kitchen now and again and make cooking a shared activity - fun-shared, not chore-shared. If he is a good kitchen companion (maybe not entirely his cup-o-tea, but as a special activity), then it will lessen the anti-everything you seem to interpret from him right now, and some of his ideas might end up being useful in figuring out how to feed him when you are cooking without him. If you two can't get along in the kitchen, I'd have to vote for a quick exit strategy.
Is dating a picky eater a dealbreaker for anyone?!
Every person you meet and get along with very well isn't necessarily your mate. Food is something you will be sharing with this person for life, 3 times a day plus snacks. Not to mention favorite holiday treats... that adds up to a lot of things you won't be sharing, possibly even arguing about. You love to cook, and may see food as love. His constant rejection of your offerings and likes may over time wear like water dripping on stone and erode love and respect. A very long list of verboten foods is a whole different thing than not caring for a few things. Stay friends if possible but think long and hard about developing more intimacy.
BUT- utimately it's your life, your choice.
Is dating a picky eater a dealbreaker for anyone?!
I think if you were really crazy about this person, his food habits wouldn't bother you as much.
It would eventually chip away at her patience, no matter how much she cares for him. You can only overlook something for so long before it ends up being part of an argument that goes, "Yeah, and another thing..."
Is dating a picky eater a dealbreaker for anyone?!
I think if you were really crazy about this person, his food habits wouldn't bother you as much. And, vice-versa, he would make an attempt to be more adventurous.
My husband was a picky eater when we first started dating. Over time, he's broadened his horizons food-wise, and I save the things he really won't eat to savor when I'm having a meal without him. A good compromise, I think.
Is dating a picky eater a dealbreaker for anyone?!
I married a picky eater-- not quite as picky as yours, but some of my faves are the things he hates. Over the last 4 years, it's been easy to "cook around him": to use ingredients he likes, or just make sure the stuff he hates is in large chunks so he can pick it out and give it to me. I kind of like have double the mushrooms in my coq au vin! The thing is, for me, there was no consideration of not getting married to him because of his pickiness-- because it was SO obvious that we were meant to be together in every other way. So now I have artichokes when I go out, not at home, and I make a side of kale for just myself, and it's no big deal.
I have another friend who passionately loves her hubbie of 20 years, but they eat separate meals-- hers are gourmet feasts, and his are pizza, hot dogs, and pancakes (he has a severe food issues).
So it can be done! But it sounds like there are many other things that make you unsure... trust your instinct on this!
Is dating a picky eater a dealbreaker for anyone?!
I'm sorta torn. To some extent I do agree with tapioca. If food is your passion then there is no real way it's going to work out (and you kinda knew that). I am sorta dealing with the same thing, but the exception is that it's only a couple of things and of those things the problem is that he has eaten canned versions and not fresh versions. So I am slowly converting him. I'm still working on cucumbers and pickles - he's German can you imagine him not liking pickles, isn't there some rule about pickled food and Germans. Anyway - if it were a few things then I'd work around it but he seems pickey like a child and for me that's a big red flag.
Years ago someone told me that you can tell everything about a person by what they eat...she was so right
Is dating a picky eater a dealbreaker for anyone?!
Wow, what a thread! And what a smorgasbord of advice! This guy must have really swept you off your feet in every other way for you to have endured his food fetishes for a year. Or, you are selling yourself short that there isn't someone out there who is perfect for you. And someone else perfect for him.
Is dating a picky eater a dealbreaker for anyone?!
At this stage of a relationship, I dump this guy faster than a hot potato. For anyone who is a subscriber to Serious Eats, food is important (along with wine and other stuff). So connect with someone that shares this passion not someone who is going to disparage or pick at everything you love about food. Get to the core of the issue and stop fretting about symptoms.
Is dating a picky eater a dealbreaker for anyone?!
Being with someone who starts out a picky eater but eventually decides to expand his horizons is not the same as being with someone unwilling to budge. One is a victory that opens up a whole new world of flavors - the other is a huge pain in the ass.
Is dating a picky eater a dealbreaker for anyone?!
@WannabeTVchef - Food allergies are hardly rare. According to the American Academy of Allergy Asthma and Immunology, approximately 12 million people (or about 1 in 25) have food allergies. And that's allergies alone, not sensitivities or intolerances (like lactose intolerance). While a list of 8 foods cause about 90% of food allergies, who are you to judge what is a 'real' allergy. Obviously not a medical professional with the training to diagnose someone's immune disorder.
I've seen someone swell up like a balloon when a server didn't know the correct answer to if there was garlic in a dish. And personally, I'd love to eat raw tomatoes, but paying for that fantastic salsa with a blistered tongue is not a price I'm ok with.
Is dating a picky eater a dealbreaker for anyone?!
Canadian Sunshine could end up with a chronically frustrating life with this picky eater. In considering a long-term or even a lifetime relationship, you need to identify the features and characteristics in the other person and in your interactions which will eventually drive you nuts. In several areas of our life together that could describe my 45 years of marriage but he loves my cooking, most of which involves a big bowl or plate of homemade glop du jour. He is enthusiastic about every vegetable except brussels sprouts and turnips, both of which hit his "too-bitter button." I love to shop for food, cook food, share food with others, and eat it myself. Without a welcoming audience at home for my cooking, my life, which is rich in so many ways, would be much poorer. Canadian Sunshine should not settle for this picky eater. They are not compatible.
Is dating a picky eater a dealbreaker for anyone?!
It depends of course on just how picky someone is but for the most part, yes it is a deal breaker. I mean someone with acid reflux is one thing or extreme lactose intolerence but when they are the type to special order everything every time they eat out I have no patience. Also I have no patience with "food alergy" person who seems to have an alergy to everything an adult should eat like mushrooms or spinach. Food alergies are very, VERY rare and some of the ones I've heard (garlic allergy, onion allergy) just do not exist. Nut allergies, shellfish allergies, these are real and they are dangerous but please don't tell me that you are allergic to tomatoes and then soak your fries in ketchup.
Is dating a picky eater a dealbreaker for anyone?!
I have been in a 10 year relationship with a picky eater. When we first started dating, he said he ate everything and enjoyed going to restaurants. He wined and dined me until I moved in, then I found out the truth... It affected my cooking and dining until last year when I said ENOUGH IS ENOUGH! I cook what I want when I want and if I want to go to a restaurant that doesn't appeal to him, I go with friends or alone. So if you can tolerate this type of lifestyle then continue dating him, if not DUMP him! But trust me, it is hard to live with someone like this when your a foodie and some days you just want to scream...
Is dating a picky eater a dealbreaker for anyone?!
My husband and I have been married for almost 26 years. When we started dating, almost 30 years ago, he came from a "Hamburger Helper" household and I came from a gourmet / European household. He was never quite sure what he was going to be served at my parents, but he was always game. While my side of the family introduced him to strange things like broccoli (WITHOUT cheese sauce) and asparagus, I will have to admit that he introduced me to kool-aid slushies and toasted pb & js.
His job has taken him all over the world and he is more than happy to try anything that is put in front of him. Our kids are the same way - they will try anything.
It's a tough call. Is he willing to be educated? If not, your meals are going to be pretty sucky.
Is dating a picky eater a dealbreaker for anyone?!
I married the world's pickiest eater. His family does not own a single condiment. Pickles, please, mustard, ugh, ketchup, ok maybe. But I married him anyway. Me with my 37 pie and cake pans. 53 pieces of cookware, 5 food processors and every gadget on the market. Of course I needed that ebleskiver pan! I could open a restaurant. Getting the pic. We solved the problem but two ways. Rule #1 - I would cook and not tell him what was in it. By the way he didn't know about rule #1. So - rule #2 - he would try one new item per month. Surprise, surprise, he has found many things he actually enjoys. And sometimes he actually tries 2 or 3 things per month. He still can't abide mushrooms and it's been a long process but he has been worth the time and effort. Make sure this is the only thing bothering you. It should be somewhere down toward the bottom of the list.
Is dating a picky eater a dealbreaker for anyone?!
Yes, it's an absolute deal breaker!
Is dating a picky eater a dealbreaker for anyone?!
I dated a guy who would dump copious amounts of ketchup or bbq sauce on anything I'd cook for him. Before tasting the food! It was totally disrespectful and showed a complete lack of flexibility (or taste).
You need to be able to communicate about this. Is he really just that picky, or does he have food allergies/diet restrictions that he is too embarrassed to bring up? If there is a specific health restriction involved here, then that is not his fault, but it is his job to communicate this to you. If this is just pickiness, and YOU are a foodie, then as my mother would say NEXT. Move along honey.
Good luck my dear.
Is dating a picky eater a dealbreaker for anyone?!
From your post, it seems clear that you care about food. If you think the BF is a keeper, you need to explain to him how important it is for him to try the foods you like. Marriages have lots of tough spots and if you're not in the same place food-wise (which you care about), it's tough to see how this relationship will work long-term. If he's willing to try things, but still doesn't like it, that's one thing. But it sounds like you're a long way away from that place.
Is dating a picky eater a dealbreaker for anyone?!
Just cut out the middleman and look for someone whose eating habits are not so astronomically different than yours. "Compromising" every so often and having pizza when you want ribs is one thing. Having food habits that are polar opposites is a big thing to overcome. The person who cooks is never afforded the pleasure of watching a significant other enjoy a meal without dissecting it. (I hate this and anyone who does it is not likely to be invited to my home again for food.) The picky eater wants a house full of ramen or some other food over which they obsess, and this will drive the cook crazy. A visit to a "favorite" restaurant turns into a war. It's a big world with lots of people and there is no need to hammer a square peg into a round hole.
Is dating a picky eater a dealbreaker for anyone?!
I think the OP needs to stop with some passive agressive food behavior. If you are continuing to make dishes with ingredients he doesn't like, and expecting him to love it just because you want him to, it's never going to work!
So, BF doesn't like mushrooms, but OP loves mushroom risotto, so she's going to make it for dinner. BF's got 3 choices:
1) Refuse to eat it - OP gets angry because she put the work into dinner and he won't give it a chance, gets offended when/if he makes something else
2) Eat it, but pick out the mushrooms - OP gets angry because this is a pet peeve of hers
3) Take a serving, not like it, and not finish it - OP gets angry over wasting food.
There's no way he can win.
I can understand that OP's annoyed because she has to change her cooking behavior due to the relationship. but LOTS of things change for relationships. I don't like America's Next Top Model, my girlfriend loves it. I can deal with watching it because i love her. I like Filk music, my girlfried doesn't... she puts up with it in the car because she loves me.
I hate mayo and ketchup. My GF likes mayo and buys ketchup in those big pump-containers. She likes meatloaf, i think it's a conspiracy. I love mushrooms and could eat them by the pound while she can't even put her revulsion into words. If you love a person, you deal with their preferences, be it entertainment or Food.
Relationships are a give and take
Is dating a picky eater a dealbreaker for anyone?!
I think this may depend on what food means to you and how you feel about cooking. I'm in the "food is love" camp and although I like cooking, I don't love it, but I do it bc I DO love my own cooking and feel better physically when I eat it most of the time, rather than eating out. Under those circumstances, if I'm cooking dinner at least 5 nights a week for someone who doesn't appreciate it, or confines me to blah meals that take some effort but don't taste that great, I'm going to become resentful, bc I'm either getting a negative response to my love offering (my food) or working pretty hard for a product I don't particularly like. But that's ME. That isn't you.
You're going to have to decide what his pickniness does to you emotionally, and how much positive energy you get from him in other areas. Also, if he were willing to hang out with me in the kitchen and help with meals or clean up, that would be a plus. And you can always get creative, I guess and find ways to cook for him and make sauces, chutneys, side dishes, etc. that you can add to your food to amp things up. So if everything else is good, it could be do-able. But if you're going to resent it every time he rejects your offering (and I'm not saying this judgmentally, I would have a hard time myself feeling otherwise) then your relationship will be stressed about every day of your life and you're going to need to really have good things going on in other areas of it.
I was married to a man who ate everything I made silently, and seldom said anything about it, positive or otherwise. My current husband (the keeper) still raves about my cooking after 12 years. It's just one more wonderful thing about him, and it sure helps to make up for the inevitable annoyances that come with a long term relationship!
Is dating a picky eater a dealbreaker for anyone?!
You know, when I met Mr. Twistie, he had a million food phobias. His reaction to foods he had never eaten was usually 'I hate that.' before he'd even tried it. After sixteen years of marriage and more than twenty years together, he's still a pretty picky eater who actively dislikes a lot of my favorite foods.
The thing is, we've found our ways of dealing with that because there's more to us than the sum of what he's willing to eat.
I completely get your pain that he won't eat most of what you make for him, because cooking for someone is one of the big ways I show my love, too. There have been meals Mr. Twistie flat-out refused to try, and that hurt like a knife in the heart. But he's come a long way over the years.
You see, once I realized how he felt about food, I could adjust my approach to feeding him. I never try to cook things for him that he knows he hates. If I'm trying to introduce a new food, I make sure there are plenty of things he's used to and loves on the table, too, so that if he isn't ready to try it doesn't turn into a huge battle. And over the years he's loosened up. He knows that I'm a damn good cook. He knows that feeding him well matters to me. He knows that I'm not going to try to sneak things into the dish or the meal. Now he tries everything - really tries it - and is sometimes amazed at what he finds he likes.
Just last week I put some dried cranberries into a savory dish that I felt needed a good bright flavor to 'pop' in it. I didn't even think about it, because this is something I love, but Mr. Twistie has feared such a combination his entire life. He tried it, and he loved it, and he hasn't stopped talking about how good it was.
If there had been more wrong with the relationship than his picky eating, I might well have thrown in the towel early on over food. The thing is, there was so much that was so right about the relationship that I was willing to use every ounce of patience and understanding at my disposal to make things work. If I had tossed him to the curb because he finds seafood, lamb, and all forms of squash revolting, I would have missed out on far more than I gained.
And that's what it really comes down to, Dollface: what will you gain as opposed to what you will lose. Is there a place where you can meet him halfway? Is he worth meeting halfway? Does he make you tingle? Does he make you laugh? Does he make you feel like you're home? The answers to those questions are far more important than whether or not he likes mustard and cheesecake.
I adore my picky eating man. Do you adore yours?
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About allakarasik
Location: Brooklyn, NY
About: Love cooking, been cooking since I was about 10. Was considering culinary school when I finished high school, but ended up in fashion instead. So now I design by day, and cook as a hobby every chance I get.
Favorite foods: I lived in Miami for awhile and became totally obsessed with Cuban food. Not fancy fusion, just no frills Cuban food. Ah, and Cuban coffee!
Any type of cuisine though, I'll give it a try.
Last bite on earth: Tough. Hmmm. A chunk of fresh warm bread with a drizzle of the best olive oil and a pinch of sea salt.
I'm with tapioca on this one. I think it will only get worse. If you have gone into adulthood still being a picky eater I think it has become ingrained as part of your personality.
I have dated a few guys who were picky eaters, or had some food issues because they were fat kids and as fit adults they saw food as the enemy. I love food, I love to cook, and when you are sitting down to a nice meal that you put effort into cooking, and the person across from you is turning up their nose or just pushing things to the side, it is very upsetting. You will never get used to the faces that he makes, or the rejection of the food you put in front of him, it will not ever feel better to you, or get any easier.
My boyfriend and I both have foods that we don't like, and we both have foods that we just can't eat. He doesn't like melted cheesy dishes, or sour cream, so I keep those things out of recipes and use them as garnishes is I want them for myself. He loves Mussels, but I just can't stomach them, but whenever he has a craving I make him a big pot of them. It's one thing to not like certain foods, but when you have a picky eater that just doubles the stress level.
Dave and I love food and it's hard enough figuring out what we want to eat if we go out to dinner. Where do you even go out with a picky eater?
If cooking is a big part of your life and you get a lot of joy from it (like I do), you should think hard about being with a man that can't at least appreciate trying to enjoy this part of your life that truly makes you happy.