Serious Eats - seriouseats.com

Why are you serving it in a men's athletic cup?

I picture these being served by white trash to "guests" on "special occasions" because they are so fancy!

"Honey, hide the meth and break out hazelnut creamer, my parole officer is here!!!"

Smirnoff consistently wins blind taste competitions for vodka. It is also one of the least expensive.

I buy it in 1.5L bottles and then use lemons, mint leaves, rosemary, garlic , and oranges from my backyard for various infusions. Smirnoff infused for a couple of weeks with fresh oranges tastes better than any flavored vodka at any price. Garlic and chili pepper infused vodka is amazing for Bloody Marys.

How could a man rocking frosted tips, leather wrist bands, and a too-tight silk cowboy shirt possibly be wrong about anything...

"automatic gratuity" is an oxymoron.

If there is an automatic charge on your bill that you cannot alter, it is a FEE, not a gratuity. A gratuity by its own definition is an amount selected by the consumer and paid VOLUNTARILY to reward service staff.

NEVER accept an "automatic gratuity" unless you would have given the same amount VOLUNTARILY. When presented with the check, talk to the manager, tell him/her that the server(s) didn't not perform to your expectation and tell them what % you believe to be appropriate.

If the answer from the manager is anything other than "yes, sir/ma'am" you can bet that the manager is taking part of the "tip" for him/herself.

-Bang alot of hostesses, but not YOUR restaurant's hostesses.
-Don't tell anyone you are holding, because whatever you are holding will be gone before the shift is over.
-If you believe, physical pain and/or exhaustion can be overcome by sheer force of will.
-Every cook says that he will never scream obscenities at the kitchen staff when he is running the place. That is a lie.
-Top kitchens are full of pretentious a-holes. You either are one, turning into one, or not that good.
-Try not to laugh in the face of people who think that cooking one or two nights at home or writing a food blog make them an expert.
-Go ahead and laugh in the face of people that refer to themselves as a "foodie".

Really "Choc Star" with that logo? It's not April 1st already, is it?

No thanks! That's about as appetizing as a salad from "Toss Ur Salad" with employees dressed in prison outfits...

Sadly, my dead racist a-hole grandfather also referred to them by the same horrible name. I still don't eat buy them today because they bring up such horrible feelings about someone that treated other people so poorly because of their race.

I've had an Everlasting Gobstopper in my pants for Veruca Salt since I first saw the movie...

How cute and Luddite!

Google Docs....Then when you forget the list at home, you can pull it up on your phone.

i guess the "www.pompousdouchebagchefs.com" was already taken???

#1 on my list of restaurants to avoid.

This sums up everything that is wrong with a.) L.A. b.) food bloggers.

Please sit down, eat your meal, drink your wine, and converse with your dinner companions.

There is only one place in the U.S. to go for authentic Japanese Croquettes. That is Delica rf-1 in the Ferry Building in San Francisco.

It is the only location outside of Japan for Rockfield, the Japanese company that popularized in the croquette and has locations in every train station and department store in Japan.