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I think the whole idea of tipping is ridiculous: do you tip the toll collector for taking your money? Do you tip the gas man for reading your meter? Do you tip your IT guy for fixing your computer? Of course not. Now, obviously, they don't live on tips. GUESS WHAT: NEITHER SHOULD WAITERS! How insane is it that a customer has to pay basically twice: for the food and for the service? Can you imagine if we had to tip UPS person for delivering the package to your house? Here's another tidbit: are the dishes heavier at T.G.I. Fridays than they are in a fancy steakhouse with $100+ dishes? Where do you come off with a sense of entitlement to a $20 tip just because the food was $100, whereas at Fridays a $20 plate would only get a $4 tip? If restaurant you work at charges that much for food, let them pay you! Enough is enough!

Hell YEA I would send it back - I ASKED FOR RAW!

As a fellow recent college grad...I feel where you're coming from. Good luck finding your "real" job in the "real" world. It is such a strange feeling :)

Hey, late to the party, but I have to say, the original of what J would say - "Hey, was everything okay?" (paraphrased) made me sit up and think of all the times I could have used that. What you wound up saying gives me pause if only because you directly say "Is this all you meant to leave?" which can put people on the defensive... otherwise, bravo!
PS Carding people made me uncomfortable initially as well. Eventually I got to know the signs of underage drinking fairly well, and if I did card you, it was a signal to the boss that there was an issue... We had to throw a guy out who seriously looked like he was going to reach over and punch me (!!!) for carding his - I SWEAR SHE LOOKED 12 and COULDN'T be more than 16 at most! - mistress. It was really disturbing because he was like 35 or 40 - not OLD, but uncomfortably old to be dating a girl who not only look to be just entering puberty but apparently was under 21 as she did not have ANY ID on her. Ick.

I just wanted to offer some appreciation for this post. I have had a similar experience, where, after paying, my tip would have been $1 on a $60+ order. I returned the dollar "change" to the table even though they said "no change," and they were shocked and shelled out more money. It happens, and I see no reason why someone shouldn't approach their table if they believe that a mistake has happened.

I'm glad there's no rules about gratuity, I've had some great service, then i've had some nightmare services. I love it when the server knows his food, wine, and even gives us some of his personal recommendations from the menu.

Then there's the flip side, clueless servers, and you can tell they are dying to go home. I have been waited on with the server talking on his CELL PHONE! Yeah, I'm going to tip you for talking to your friend during service. NO WAY! We have witnessed arguing about who's tables are getting people between staff (yes in front of customers), whine about how tired they are, has a short-term memory, and look miserable to be at work in general. No, uh uh, no reward for that. If I behaved like that at my job, I'd be fired! It's not a pleasant experience so why should I even bother tipping.

Honey attracts more bees, even if you gotta fake it. For an awesome service all around, I don't mind overtipping, I have given 25-30%. But for a mediocre service, why bother.

The best service is the waitstaff that take their job seriously, and know their stuff! Because how you feel about your job always reflects your performance.

@Duncan 1205...what happened then???!!! Fill us in...

Tipping is never optional. A 10% tip is mandated by federal law:
http://bit.ly/C7xKC

Many, many years ago (30 + years) I was on both ends, waitress and patron. At this time in my life most of my friends in Philly owned the 3-5 star restaurant, so I knew a lot about the industry. I’m going to agree that I really does have a lot to do with class. You could almost tell by the way someone was dressed, the over the top shiny knock-off’s that even they do not seem to know are knock-off’s or perhaps thinks that is looks close enough to be the real thing so it’s OK. Your choices are either NO tip or a tip that is so small it can barley be seen. A guy and his girl came into the restaurant looking very shiny and the guy flagged me over he wanted to know why he and his friends were treated so badly in restaurants. I took a look at what he ordered and asked what they planned to tip. He replied “What tip?” So I went and got my current pay stub, in short the guy was appalled that 40 hours of work equaled $23. I explained that the rest of my salary came from tips. He now understood and would also spread the word to his peeps.
On the flip side in the 90’s when tip jars started to show up everywhere, I can see why people no longer tip any more or better said why now people are questioning “tipping” in general. So unlike in the 70’s and 80’s where I think it was more about class now I think it’s because of over kill of the “tip jar”

I work at a nail salon every summer and I absolutely hate working there because I work for tips. I get paid about 5 dollars an hour and I seriously curse people when they tip me less than 15%. I work my butt off, run around like a headless chicken for 11 hours a day, six or seven days a week and I deserve that tip.

Whenever I'm out, I tip minimum 25% if service was bad and 35% if great because I know how hard they must work. Amount of tip should definitely reflect the quality of service but I believe it should start somewhere around 20 because minimum wage is ridiculous as it is.

A lot of people have been asking about tipping in takeout/counter service situations, so I figured I'd offer my 2 cents...

I am a barista at a small sandwich/coffeeshop. We have a tip jar. A lot of people tip; a lot of people do not. I'm not going to tell you what to do, but I will say this: my wage (while probably $5 more than Hannah's, still makes me a measly $7.25/hour) pays for my rent and utilities (and I don't even live in a particularly expensive city). My tips pay for food and modest fun. And we're talking about 20 bucks a day. So every dollar--hell, every quarter--makes a difference!

As for takeout--our tips are split between the counter, barista, and sandwich-maker--each of whom does the exact same amount of work whether you eat in or take out.

Of course, it's usually my regulars, getting only a drip coffee each morning, who tip the best. Inevitably, the customers who order a fancy espresso drink often can't afford that extra buck. After all, there's a recession on.

What you did was ok in my book, you did it politely and with class. Whenever I have had problems with service, which was reflected in my tip, I ALWAYS let the manager know why. That way they know exactly what the problem was and not that you are just a cheap a..h..e!