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I'm from the great state of Alabama and find her absolutely appalling... What " positive stereotype " is she trying to portray...? There are many hard working women and single mothers in the south and I can tell you that the only ones who act like that are the dregs of our southern culture...In fact my ninety year old mother , who happens to be a great southern LADY , cannot bear to listen to her or watch her...She refers to Ms. Deen as that nasty trashy woman who screeches ... And, personally I have never heard a southerner say Y'ALL every few syllables ... And I was born,bred and raised in the south by great and true southern people.... She is an embarrassment ...

Okay everybody waiting for my response!

I forgot to mention- I'm doing "Easter" at her house next week because that's when my BF gets his son (the little guy was with his mom for easter). So I promise to come back next week & report on your questions regarding cooking in her kitchen.
I did a test run this Sunday with some asparagus. I used the recipe tossing it in Olive oil and roasting at 400 approx 8 min. From my BF's suggestion (who knew he was a treasure trove of asparagus knowledge as well?) adding a sprinkle of Mc Cormicks Monterey seasoning, I also used the suggestion of roasting some quartered baby portabella mushrooms with same treatment/ time. Everything turned out great! I'm am going to use this recipe next week as it's too easy to fail! Believe it or not somehow I was able to eat about 7 spears without gagging. (usually my response to asparagus) Even though I couldn't shake the unmistakable "green" flavor, it was balanced enough by the seasoning and the roasted mushrooms- I liked it! I would consider eating this again- thanks everybody for helping "expand my palate!"

@mongoose - my little whisk is a bit under a an inch wide.

@mongoose: sorry again, I ended up taking an impromptu trip to NYC (from Washington, DC) on Wednesday night and spent a night there and a day eating my way through the city, so I will definitely measure that whisk TONIGHT and post its width!

My favorite preparation is Jean George's asparagus with morels. I don't know if there is a recipe around but it is the only way to eat it. If not, I agree with getting multiple varieties of types of asparagus. Even with a simple preparation the different types of asparagus will create a different flavor profile.

@bisbee, I found it first at the Whole Foods in Boulder.

If you know where Longmont is, I also found it there recently at the Cheese Importers Warehouse, and they actually had two varieties -- hot and regular.

@Brian- I'm sorry I didn't mean to be snippish- hope you saw my comment to LoCo about being crabby due to my cold. :)

@dbCurrie- hi neighbor! this is WAY OFF TOPIC didn't you have a post reagrding finding spanish chorizo last week or so? If so ....are you in the Denver area and where did you find it in town? I've looked tons of places- all I can find is the Mexican style. Thanks! -Bisbee

How about an asparagus frittata? Eggs are a good spring thing as chickens start laying more with the longer days. It's also pretty simple and gives lots of opportunities for food art by laying the spears in the quiche pan radiating from the center.
My basic recipe involves turning up the oven to 400, pouring some olive oil, sea salt, pepper, and chopped onions into a quiche pan and putting the pan in the oven until the onions are browned. Then lay in the asparagus and pour on the eggs. The asparagus comes out nice and crunchy since it hasn't been cooked before.

Martha Stewart has a very simple asparagus and gruyere tart that gets raves whenever I've served it. Just cheese, asparagus, puff pastry, and a little oil to dress it. It's on her website.

All good points, bisbee, and I didn't mean to pry or be self-righteous. Eating is about the company, of course, and the context and respecting the traditions, flavors, habits of others, especially when it comes to family holidays, which can already be stressful despite the presence of good food.
And I'm also glad to know how widely spread seriouseaters are geographically. In my town's supermarket, the California asparagus is pretty mediocre looking right now, so I suppose I was being a little self-centered. Sorry.

BTW, if the asparagus is very young and tender, it's actually quite delicious raw. It has a subtle sweet nutty flavor. I often slice it into very small pieces and toss it into a green salad. I've also had great success adding it to marinated antipasto type salads (think along the lines of four-bean salad, escabeche, marinated mushrooms, etc.). You can do a very brief blanch to make it a prettier brilliant green while keeping the crisp raw texture.

to answer Brian's question regarding where am I getting the asparagus? why isn't it local? why there is pressure to use it on Easter? and why I'm not acting like a "loco-vore" (...and yes I'm aware that is not how it is spelled)

When the hostess who happens to be your future MIL says she is "buying asparagus for you to prepare at her house on Easter." You don't go into a fit about any of it. Not the part about not liking asparagus, it's lack of local seasonality, the fact that you have to prepare it outside of your own kitchen, the fact that you really don't celebrate Easter because you're not really Christian (nor is your boyfriend for that matter) You don't say any of this of even question it because a) your momma didn't raise you that way and b) it's rude and c) why rock the boat over stupid fricken asparagus?
Instead you enslist your wonderful friends on SE to give you a little help in the aspargaus recipe arena, show up with your smile, prepare the damn asparagus from Bolivia or wherever, and have a cocktail or five, remarking on how delicious her ham is.

...anyhow thanks everybody for all your tasty suggestions hope you all have a great Easter dinner if that's what you do!