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Paying for someone else's party?
Oddly worded maybe, but not tacky. I'd see it as similar to being invited to join a friend for a party at a restaurant, and being told that meals cost between $15-25 and maybe given a menu to look at beforehand. Okay, so here you don't know exactly what your money's covering, but you can always ask. Just because someone takes it upon themselves to organise a party doesn't mean they should pay for the whole thing.
I'd probably think it was a bit weird if it were a wedding - but then again, my mother went to a wedding where the invitation specified that since the couple had lived together for a long time and had their house set up already they would just appreciate people donating x amount of money (bank account details provided) to cover the meal, and my mother thought it was an excellent idea, much more civil and reasonable than registering for expensive presents.
Each to their own...
What Fictional Foods Do You Wish Were Real?
In Enid Blyton's Magic Faraway Tree books there are some interesting foods, but the one I always wanted to try was a toffee that expands and expands and goes from hot to cold to hot to cold until it just suddenly vanishes.
Serious Heat: Five of the Best Spicy Lollipops
Ohhh, you mustmustmustmustmust try salmiakki! Turkish peppers are the best, and come in come in lollipop format as well:
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Recent Comments | Response to Comments
Eating Alone (In Restaurants)
I love studying in restaurants and cafes (it doesn't count as work if you get cake and someone else cleans up after you!), and I don't really like other people ;-) , so dining alone is ideal for me.
Paying for someone else's party?
Oddly worded maybe, but not tacky. I'd see it as similar to being invited to join a friend for a party at a restaurant, and being told that meals cost between $15-25 and maybe given a menu to look at beforehand. Okay, so here you don't know exactly what your money's covering, but you can always ask. Just because someone takes it upon themselves to organise a party doesn't mean they should pay for the whole thing.
I'd probably think it was a bit weird if it were a wedding - but then again, my mother went to a wedding where the invitation specified that since the couple had lived together for a long time and had their house set up already they would just appreciate people donating x amount of money (bank account details provided) to cover the meal, and my mother thought it was an excellent idea, much more civil and reasonable than registering for expensive presents.
Each to their own...
What Fictional Foods Do You Wish Were Real?
In Enid Blyton's Magic Faraway Tree books there are some interesting foods, but the one I always wanted to try was a toffee that expands and expands and goes from hot to cold to hot to cold until it just suddenly vanishes.
Serious Heat: Five of the Best Spicy Lollipops
Ohhh, you mustmustmustmustmust try salmiakki! Turkish peppers are the best, and come in come in lollipop format as well:
Babycinos, a Drink for Babies
I know a three-year-old who is particularly thrilled when she gets to order her own babycino. I think ithe drinks is a glorious idea - although you do sometimes see waitstaff operating in automode and giving a couple of sachets of sugar to go with each beverage, even the babycinos... Which also makes you wonder how kiddie-conscious they've been in making the drink to begin with.
Top Ten Worst Halloween 'Candies'
I'm a furriner. What exactly is candy corn?
Why Pepperoni Pizza Sucks
tuna and blue cheese.
Try it, love it.
Making Chocolate
The best bit of advice I got was from a real live chocolatier: don't even try to use the melting-chocolate-over-simmering-water- method, because it's just too fiddly and even steam can affect the chocolate. Microwave (on medium power) instead. There's no way moisture can get into the chocolate that way, and as long as you melt the chocolate only half way and let the rest of it melt in its own heat you're on to a winner.
Substituting brewed coffee in a cake?
I've taken to substituting coffee with Bailey's, and would thoroughly recommend it.
Risqué Orangina Ads Stir Controversy
Yep, definitely creepy and strange, but I pick animated shimmying zebras in ads over real shimmying women in music videos any day.
Typos creating havoc?
I lovingly prepared a tray of lavender muffins a few weeks ago, only to realise only minutes before the timer was due to beep that the eggs were still on the counter, waiting to be used.
My husband still ate them, though.
Grocery Ninja: Sweet 'Football' Olives
Try to get your hands on Finnish salmiakki - salty licorice, essentially (in Australia it's sold as 'Dutch licorice'). There are all sorts of varieties, all of an acquired taste. My personal favourites are witch sticks, apothecary salmiakki and Turkish Peppers - although I'd love to hear your take on any variety!
How far off-menu should a restaurant be expected to go?
I would expect to be able to have an ingredient removed/replaced (assuming the ingredient to be replaced exists in said establishment) - particularly if a restaurant doesn't have much of a vegetarian range for example.
If something went wrong with any dish (I managed to inhale a shard of concealed oyster shell once) I would want to at the very least have the offending item removed from the bill - but I wouldn't have the guts to demand it...
I also expect - often in vain - the waitstaff to know what is in each dish, and not to look all blinky-eyed if a customer asks whether something is gluten-free for example.
Foods We Loved as Kids, Maybe Not as Adults
Things that are pink.
Top Ten Worst Halloween 'Candies'
I disagree about a lot of the candy items mentioned here.
I, for one, LOVE the fun-sized (or mini, if you prefer) candies. It's a tiny bit of something insanely tasty, enough to give pleasure without causing tummy pains. When I was a young'un and I went trick-or-treating, one house gave out mini Clark bars. Yum-o-delish! I polished those off first.
I think the chewy peanut butter kisses taste absolutely divine.
Candy corn, I think is plenty of tasty, as are the candy pumpkins made of candy-corn base. Think little dollops of hardened cake-frosting.
As for apples and raisins, those I didn't mind in the least.
However, some items, I do agree about.
Toothbrushes -- a boring reminder
Religious pamphlets -- disappointing and WEIRD to boot.
Packages of "normal" food -- oh, for crying in Manhattan, what kid wants to receive a can of baked beans or a box of oat bran in his little plastic jack-o-lantern.
One time I received cough drops -- and not the Ludens or Pine Bros or Smith Bros or F&Fs, which are tasty and could pass as hard candy (as can the Ricolas). These were nasty little green pellets that were -- and tasted like -- MEDICATION. Like I said, for crying in Manhattan! For crying in Manhattan, Chicago, and San Francisco
Oh well. At least I didn't get a ROCK
Top Ten Worst Halloween 'Candies'
If I didn't live in an apartment building with no kids in it I'd be giving out and full sized candy bar AND a red bull to every kid. HAHAHA!!! HALLOWEEN IS FOR KIDS! SUCK IT PARENTS!
Paying for someone else's party?
I think tacky hardly begin to describe what this charge to the guest could be called. It sounds like someone is trying to make a buck on this affair. I honestly believe the "guest of honor" should be told. I know if someone were giving a party for me and a friend or associate did this, I'd be so embarassed I wouldn't know what to do. Then I'd get mad! I think this person would want to know. What's going to happen is that people eventually are going to hold resentment against the person the party was held for, they're not going to to believe they didn't know about it. I wonder if the honoree finds out about this just how STUPID the hosts are going to feel? I really hope someone tells them off about this, I also hope they have VERY few people show up. Of course they'll wonder why, they appear to be a very dense type.
Paying for someone else's party?
We know a couple who regularly order pay-per-view events (mixed martial arts primarily) and then invite people over to watch. When you get there, they have a jar out for "donations" toward the refreshments and the cost of the pay-per-view. I find this so tacky, I refuse to go with my boyfriend. I agree with others -- if you can't afford to host a party, make it pot luck, or don't host a party.
Eating Alone (In Restaurants)
I haven't done much restaurant eating by myself, but I had a pretty good time when I did. I do however go to movies, plays, and operas by myself quite frequently. I really recommend attending live performances alone (or at least convincing your party to go the "every man for himself" route when it comes to ticket buying) - you're odds of getting a good seat are significantly better if you're solo. Not to mention your fellow performance attendees are often open to chatting with strangers.
Paying for someone else's party?
I've got one for you, I was invited to a wedding and dinner afterward. The next line was if you want to bring a date he/she is not invited to dinner but feel free to invite them for dancing after dinner...Now how do you tell a date
meet me at the reception around 10pm., and be sure to dress up!..I did not attend.
Paying for someone else's party?
Definitely should have been hosted as a potluck and BYOB. This is the second time that I've heard of this happening and both times that I've thought it was tacky.
The principal at my mom's work hosted a retirement party for a co-worker and it was a potluck, BYOB (no alcoholic beverages allowed) & a charge of $10.00 per person. If you did not bring anything it would be a $20.00 per person charge. This woman lives by me and we live in an area where homes start at around a million dollars... PLEASE!!!! How cheap can you be?! And as a side note: No entrance to the home was allowed - porta potties were brought in for the event...
Paying for someone else's party?
I think the party ought to be a get together where everyone can bring a dish and maybe some booze. It's very inconsiderate to think that everyone can afford this sort of thing. If the people, who you don't know anyway, want to have a party, I think they should foot the bill.
Paying for someone else's party?
Simply stated - gross - classless. nothing more to be said. surrah
Eating Alone (In Restaurants)
I hate to eat alone and self consciousness is only part of it. I enjoy the camraderie of dining with friends. After 40 years of marriage, sometimes OH and I run out of things to chat about, but I still like having him with me - it is a very companionable silence!
Eating Alone (In Restaurants)
i love eating alone in restaurants. i'm in new york city and i love when the weather's wonderful and you can sit outside and people watch, or I'll bring a book, or just daydream and drink wine and linger and treat myself to a fantastic meal.
Paying for someone else's party?
I think this is better than getting invited by the birthday person him/herself to celebrate their own birthday at a restaurant and then be expected to share the cost of his or her meal at the end. That's VERY tacky.
I have contributed substantially to a big birthday bash once beforehand because I knew the person organizing it was going way beyond her means to do it. I got a call from a common friend suggesting contributions from close friends. I thought it was fair. And then you get a nice Thank You from the birthday person. That's your birthday gift, and that's it.
Eating Alone (In Restaurants)
I have no problem eating alone at lunch time which is what I usually do because of my schedule. I don't know about eating alone at a proper restaurant for dinner...but if I had to for whatever reason I'd deal.
I knew this guy who is an only child who has such a phobia about eating alone...he says he judges people who eat alone. I recall him having a lot of other issues though.
Paying for someone else's party?
Last year, I threw a huge and quite expensive party for my partner's 60th birthday. About 60 people from in town and out of town came and enjoyed a sit-down soup-to-nuts formal catered dinner under an enormous tent in our garden. I provided full bar service and a trio of musicians to entertain our guests. The invitations specified no gifts, although a few people brought flowers or a bottle of wine. It would never have occurred to me to ask anyone to help pay for the party; it was my gift to my beloved partner. All of our guests had a marvelous time.
Soon thereafter, my partner and I received an invitation to a large (more than 100 guests) out of town birthday party for one of our friends who had attended my partner's party. The situation was the same as the situation the OP posted: pay XX amount per person, contribute to an expensive group gift to the birthday boy, etc.
I was astonished and emailed the person who invited us about our thoughts. The email was gentle and understated, merely asking a question or two about the situation. The party planner was astonished that paying for our friend's party might have been a problem for us: going to the party would have entailed boarding our animals, paying for travel expenses, plus paying the rather hefty 'charges' for actually being at the party. The party was to be a surprise for the birthday boy and, as in the original poster's situation, I believe that he had no idea his 'guests' were required to pay for the privilege of attending.
We elected to miss the event. No matter how much we love our friend (and we do), being asked to pay to attend his birthday party was, as so many posters have said, tacky and in exceptionally bad taste.
Eating Alone (In Restaurants)
I travel alot for my job and I eat alone alot. I don't mind as long as I can read (I always bring a book) and I go to whatever kind of restaurant I want to: casual, fancy, wherever there is good food and in Boston, there is plenty. What I DON'T do is go to a sports bar and sit at the bar. Bad image for a woman by herself. I also prefer not to eat at a bar as it is just not that comfortable. That said, if one of my favorite restaurants only has room at the bar, as long as there is light, I will eat there.
Paying for someone else's party?
Many years ago I was invited to a birthday party that included a five dollar fee for the cost of the party. I was absolutely appalled. A host should carry the expense. People who were invited hummed and buzzed about the fee for weeks. Everyone wanted to celebrate the birthday, but everyone was insulted by the money issue. It was brought up to the hosts, all of whom kept pointing fingers at each other saying it way that person's idea, obviously embarrassed at what they had done. If it does not feel right, don't do it, is my motto. Clearly not theirs.
I have paid when invited to retirement parties, the price of a meal and the gift included in the cost. This practice seems natural and correct because no one person or couple is hosting the party. Rather it presents an opportunity for co-workers to celebrate the career of a colleague.
But individual parties, where hosts ask the guests to pay money are much more than tacky; they are degrading.
Paying for someone else's party?
@janaatwg you did nothing wrong. Miss Manners says showers are the ONLY party where you are actually expected to bring a gift since the main purpose of the party is to shower the bride or mother to be with gifts.
I do find the pay to come birthday party kind of tacky. What if the birthday person's best friend is out of work and can't afford the $20/person?
Paying for someone else's party?
Sorry, that should read "contribution is EXPECTED"...
Paying for someone else's party?
I believe that asking people to contribute more than their own bottle of wine is okay if (a) it is not a party specifically hosted by someone for someone or themselves, but rather a surprise or get-together co-planned by a group (b) everyone knows what contribution is accepted BEFORE they're asked to make up their minds about attending. We have, for instance, a private dining club where everyone pays a fixed amount to the host for the evening, and it was made clear to all who joined before they did so that this applied. If a person would like a get-together at, say, a restaurant with friends on her birthday but can't afford to pay for those she invites, I'd suggest she invites them while making clear that everyone pays their own way - but just call it an evening out, rather than a birthday celebration. Attendees should not feel pressured to bring gifts.
Paying for someone else's party?
I think a potluck 40th party would have been more interesting and more appropriate. On the invitation - please RSVP and let me know what you are bringing. Or is this tacky too? Otherwise if you cannot afford the party - don't give it.
Paying for someone else's party?
Asking guests to pay for their attendance at a party is in very bad taste (unless its a charity/fund raising event, of course!). If guests want to bring a dish, or a bottle of wine, that's great. It should never be expected. When I "invite" people to my home - or anywhere else - its on my bill, not theirs. Never ever. Save your money and buy the inviters a book on manners.
Paying for someone else's party?
You do not have to go if you find $20 per person to be a problem. They way I see it this person is doing everyone else a huge favor by taking all the planning on to their own shoulders. All you have to do is send $20 bucks, and you are free from figuring out how to contribute. Perhaps you are being the cheap one?
Paying for someone else's party?
I don't find it unforgivable. You either pay or don't go.
Were you to take the person out yourself (as a couple), 3 people would cost you well over $40 for a nice meal. ($40 for 3 people wouldn't come close to a nice meal here in NYC.)
In this economy I guess I'd rather be asked to share the cost than not have celebrations at all. $20 a head? Is this really what you're complaining about?
Paying for someone else's party?
I vote totalIy weird. I would make sure the host gets a copy of this so they don't make the same mistake again.
Paying for someone else's party?
That's ghetto. I'm sorry.
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I love studying in restaurants and cafes (it doesn't count as work if you get cake and someone else cleans up after you!), and I don't really like other people ;-) , so dining alone is ideal for me.