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Uh-oh - the jig is up. My wife read this post. I trusted you with that inside info Ed! Now there's no way I can claim, "Sorry - I didn't notice that on the menu until just now..."

As for the being able to afford it, I guess I usually do order beyond my means - but hey, I eat for a living, so as long as I tell myself that it's "research," then I can at least justify it to myself - if not to the credit card company.

I kind of don't understand the concept that your dining partner doesn't want you to order something. Is it that they don't want to eat it? Pay for it? Don't want you to eat it? If you are secretly ordering things behind their back do you not want to look into why? If they don't want to eat it, why are they stopping you? If they don't want to pay, that's easily discussed and fixed. If they don't want you to eat it, maybe you have bigger issues. Secretly ordering isn't going to help any of these situations. I see from the comments that many people secretly order as a surprise, that I get and sometimes do myself.

I don't order that way, but that's because I know I wouldn't finish everything and I hate to waste food. Somethings, like scrambled eggs from a diner, don't make good leftovers. Plus BF and I don't tend to share dishes.

It has never actually occured to me to order extra dishes for the table without asking (except for maybe an appetizer if we are all ravenous)! It just seems gluttonous to have more entrees than people at the table. Do you eat it all or take it home to eat later?

I don't order that way on a regular basis, but when we're trying to create a festive mood for a group, I don't think there's a better way to make people feel a little special than by having a surprisingly bountiful order show up at the table. Well, maybe picking up the tab is a better way—but when we take it upon ourselves to order with abandon, we usually do that, too.

I do also fancy myself the other kind of menu whisperer, sussing out not just the best overall dishes on the menu, but also the best matches for particular dining companions. Usually I keep my mouth shut, but if someone is having trouble deciding what to order and I know them well enough, they may find themselves the recipients of a little unsolicited whispering.

I wasn't thinking about the economics either -- just the indulgence of ordering something extra or unexpected to share. In my case, it's the little things like sneaking in a side of bacon to share with my friend who loves it, but never gets it because she likes eggs benedict better (which doesn't usually have a side of bacon). Or appetizers for the table, or an extra dessert to share with my friend if I know she's on a budget -- stuff like that. I adore indulging my cravings by ordering two appetizers or desserts instead of an entree -- things like that -- unusual ordering habits as special treats and surprises.

Speaking for myself only...it has nothing to do with being cheap. I didn't think the original post was about ordering for the table, but how much do you order in general when going out and do you sneak more onto the order than planned? I am on a pretty tight budget and going out is a treat, so sneaking more onto the order has never been an issue! If I had the means, I would order as much as I could for the table and happily share.

Wow, I'm kind of surprised at the responses. I am far from made of money, but at birthdays I often order a cake with a candle, even if the person said he or she didn't want dessert (and never singing by staff because I'm nice). If I don't do this often it's because I have a small appetite, not out of cheapness, but if someone wanted something but was afraid to order it, I wouldn't hesitate to get something extra for the table.

However, because I don't eat meat, going out to eat is pretty cheap for me!

Have done what @Marxy does. Have coordinated with friends so we agree on what we're ordering, then get a sample of lots of dishes. Very nice way to go, as we're not going to eat more than a full appetizer, entree and dessert anyway.

Ain't it the truth, foodinmouth.

Well I, for one, am glad he's this neurotic and fearful as long as it stays at a level where he can still function, perform, and find happiness when appropriate. A little neuroses and fear within the sphere of your career is good when you're still young, no matter how successful you've already become. It'll push him to keep reaching higher and farther and we, as diners, will only benefit from that. Plus, if fear and anxiety are what created the delights at Momofuku Ko, then by all means, keep it up, Chang.

Read my review of MK at:
http://aftertastebysherry.wordpress.com/2008/03/15/momofuku-ko-lightning-strikes-a-third-time/

"The New Yorker" never puts its freelance writers' works online. It has to do with their allowing the writers to keep their copyrights.

Don't forget Sicilian blood oranges and Bartlet pears,,,roast your own almonds and walnuts as well....