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Does Cooking Make You Gay?
I'm a confused mess . . . or so it appears to many around me. In fact, I'm not confused at all on the inside. But I'm a straight man with many qualities generally characterized as "feminine" or "gay." I love to cook; I have two cats; I grow orchids and other houseplants; I used to garden when I had a yard. Along with these more "feminine" characteristics and interests, I have many that are more "masculine." I love sports; when I owned a vehicle, I was my own mechanic; I love building things out of wood using power tools; etc. I laughed aloud when I read a post above by a man who cooks on the holidays, and is received strangely by other straight men because he doesn't know which teams are playing in the bowl game. Just this week, I accidentally made plans to cook for a group of friends on Sunday . . . then remembered it's SuperBowl Sunday . . . and moved my dinner party to Saturday because I want to cook this weekend, but I don't want to miss the game! Also, like one of the other posters who wrote that he began cooking to impress girls, I did too; but unlike him, I had great success with the approach!
However, when it comes to people who barely know me making assumptions about my sexual orientation, they usually assume I'm gay. This is true not only of homophobic men, but also gay men, and straight and gay women. Why? I think it's likely a combination of my hobbies and, perhaps, my mannerisms. But who really knows?!?! Historically, I've had no problem finding women to date, and for several years now I've had the perfect girlfriend. I live in the heart of my city's gayborhood and am hit-on by guys regularly, which I find flattering.
I guess this is all just a long-winded way of saying that the characteristics and hobbies that our society has identified as "masculine" and "feminine" have no dependent or causal relationships with sexual orientation. What's truly sad is that I've known people who have been drawn to particular activities (including cooking) but have refrained from practicing them out of fear of being perceived as gay--letting their own homophobia oppress them. I don't care what people perceive my sexual orientation to be and, as a result, I've long felt free to be who I am--whatever that means.
Does Cooking Make You Gay?
I think that cooking in general seems hypersexualized. If you're not Gordon Ramsey, cursing your way around the kitchen, then you must be Nigella Lawson, Paula Deen, or Rachel Ray - a domestic goddess, downhome pork-lovin' grandma, or the bubbly cheerleader next door.
In so many other areas, modern men and women defy traditional gender roles - is it so hard to imagine a woman firing up a grill? Or a father serving warm milk and cookies to his children when they come home from school?
Does Cooking Make You Gay?
Hi, I am a straight female, and I have two opinions about cooking in general. First is cooking is very sexy. I think satisfying your sense of smell by cooking and satsfying your taste buds by eating is an aphrodisiac within itself. It completely turns me on.
Secondly cooking requires a strong character, especially if you are working in a professional kitchen. Whether you are gay, straight, men or female you hae to have a strong personality and be able to endure tough situations. Nobosy likes a cry baby in a kitchen. So to answer the question; cooking does not make one gay at all. For one thing it makes a person either sexy or strong.
Does Cooking Make You Gay?
I am a straight (non-gay) man who loves to cook but I'm not afraid to utilize large sausages in a my cooking but only if the recipe calls for it. I feel that anyone no matter their orientation has the right to enjoy football but it should not be played with a raw chicken that would be sick and perverted. I also happen to have it on good authority that Emiril uses a female stunt double which would not make him gay but might give us a clue as to why he uses the same jokes every show. Surely Food Network, if you can afford to put caviar on dog biscuits you can by Emiril a new joke book.
Killacook
Does Cooking Make You Gay?
Many people like to cook -- gay caballeros, straight senoritas, gay senoritas, straight caballeros. Cooking is a useful skill and to me, lots of fun. (I've loved fiddling with food since i was sixteen. I am a lady, and I like guys, but that's neither here nor there. The point is, I cook, i love it, and i do it well.)
As for gay chefs, i can't believe no one mentioned one of my culinary heroes -- Top Chef contender Carlos Fernandez, who is my hero because he can make something sensational out of the most mundane ingredients. It doesn't hurt either that the man is well-mannered and gorgeous
Does Cooking Make You Gay?
Thanks for the piece, Adam. You brought your always charming sense of humor to an unlikely discussion for a standard food article.
My sexuality is generally a bit enigmatic to folks when they first meet me; I have very effeminate mannerisms and tastes in many respects, but in many others I don't fit the "gay archetype" that seems to have its place in our collective psyche. But I can recall a very specific conversation I had with a female once... we'd been chatting, having a good conversation, it steered to food and I confessed, excitedly, that one of my favorite hobbies was cooking.
She literally let out this, "Oooooooh," as if suddenly everything made sense.
So while I think some of the comments are right, we've come along way in certain respects regarding stereotypes and breaking boundaries, I think you also hit something worth remembering: regardless of progress, "gay" still conjurs a handful of images, and included among that handful is the well-groomed sophisticate hosting a themed dinner party ("Exotic Foods of the South Seas," lisp included) complete with color-coordinated place settings.
Whatever the cost... if my being queer has anything to do with my ridiculously good french onion soup, so be it. It will continue to entertain my dinner party guests for many years to come. :)
Does Cooking Make You Gay?
This may not necessarily be the same thing, but people often assume that women that are good at math and science are gay. It is a gender role issue. I also like to cook, not because it is something I am supposed to do, but it is like science in my home lab. I am happily married.
I hated dolls as a child, but I could make a mean play-doh pierogi. I prefered designing the barbie house, rather than playing pretend with them.
There are somethings that we don't find out that we are good at until later in life. There is a span of time where we start to mature, and not care what everyone thinks anymore. We start to trust our own judgement. We figure out what makes us happy.
My husband can figure out how to grill, other than that, the kitchen is mine. Luckily, I like this. However, he realizes that it is a skill set that he should have learned in his younger days.
Maybe once people start to mature (and some take longer than others), things start falling in place. Maybe in this instance these two particular pieces of adam fell into places at similar times.
Does Cooking Make You Gay?
This topic is particularly interesting to me because recently I've faced more than a few encounters where people have questioned my gender due to the fact that I more than happily pronounce cooking and baking as my favourite hobbies. I came back to Malaysia after spending a couple of years in Canada doing my undergrad where I learned to cook and developed a somewhat obsessive passion for it while there.
During my undergrad years (which wasnt that long ago) a bunch of us students (3 guys and 3 girls) lived in the same building and I would be the resident cook almost every weekend. We'd all come together at someone's apartment to eat while watching TV, playing poker, mah jong or just spend the whole night chatting. I found it kinda awesome that by my cooking meals for my friends every weekend I could bring everyone closer together as a group. It was almost like family. So the kind of satisfaction you got out of it was more than any words could describe.
So after coming back, when I met new people, of course I happily declared my passion. I loved doing it because I could make people happy. But more often than not, the people I've met so far raise their eyebrows when you tell them your favourite thing to do in the world is cook and bake. They go "Erm, yeah ok...you like to cook. Sure." and promptly change the topic of conversation. A female colleague at work even asked me "You like girls right?" just to make sure. It was shocking to say the least that I was considered effeminate by virtue of the fact that I liked to cook and was proud of it. Such a far cry from how it used to be.
I dunno. Maybe it's a cultural thing. Asian culture (at least back in Asia) is still very much paternalistic and a lot of the times women are still considered subservient to men. In other words they do the cooking, cleaning, laundry etc. So maybe it's just that cooking in the domestic environment is still so entrenched in the minds of many as a woman's domain that people just don't see that it really isn't gender specific anymore. It never was.
Does Cooking Make You Gay?
Although straight, and confident it was the right choice for me, I am a professional chef and food editor. The question shouldn't be whether cooking makes you gay, but whether it makes a difference if you are. In all of the professional kitchens I have worked preference wasn't an issue. If you sucked as a chef you lost. Straight or gay.
I do take offense to the statement that the front of the house was kinder and less agressive than the chefs where the autor worked as waiter. Cattiness and envy were traits found in the service personell, I could always rely on my colleagues in the back in a bind.
But in the many years I have been a cook one thing is clear: gay or not being able to cook does help to get laid. (Gay chefs I know agree with me.) Ha!
Does Cooking Make You Gay?
I'm a straight woman who used to be a chef and honestly, most restaurant kitchens are brutal places. It's hard, hot, heavy work that most women are not remotely interested in doing. There are tricks we learn to get things done, supporting the wrist with the other hand when lifting a heavy pot, for example. I will, if necessary, ask a man to carry something that I cannot safely move. I've never received any negative comments for it because it was a matter of safety.
I worked at one very small restaurant for a while and worked the kitchen alone on Saturday lunch services. I often brought my son (who was a preteen at the time) to make sandwiches and salads for me. It was a great bonding experience for both of us and completely safe for him.
My son's culinary education really blossomed at home, and with minimal verbal instruction he can make almost anything. He's 21 now and I'm sure that he will be the cook in his family as his fiancee can barely make a sandwich and I'm pretty sure she can't boil water.
Yes, quite a few people over the years have assumed he was gay, the long purple hair probably didn't help. One poor boy was so in love with him he would follow him around like a puppy. I felt very sorry about Danny's broken heart, but my son never led him on and told him from the beginning that he was straight.
So, my answer is no, cooking doesn't make a man gay and football and beer don't make a man straight, either.
Does Cooking Make You Gay?
Interesting article. I am gay and have been interested in cooking for as long as I can remember - when I was as young as 10 or 11 I would cook a meal for our family about once a week. I also remember being jealous of my sister's Easy-Bake oven when I was younger than that.
That said, I think it is kind of silly to suggest that an interest in cooking inherently makes men "gay" or "feminine". I long for the day when people can just be who they are without worrying so much about gender roles. (Although I'm not free of that myself - although I'm openly gay and comfortable with my sexuality I have certain traits that people think of as typically male - I HATE to ask for directions (make that, I won't ask for directions ever unless it is a matter of life and death), and I hate going to the doctor, asking for help and anything that makes me feel vulnerable or seem weak).
I wonder if part of the reason that many pro chefs are so macho is because they are trying to counteract the perception that cooking is a "female" activity. I see the same thing in lot of straight male writers. Just a thought.
Does Cooking Make You Gay?
This is just six kinds of stereotyping and I am appalled that it was written by a gay person, being gay myself. There are several openly gay male and female chefs in NYC and around the country; there have been articles written about it. The women certainly have not been shy about it but then neither are the men I know.
No one I know even thinks twice about a straight man cooking; that's so last millenium. Catch up!
But the comments ("I'm a straight male and I bake...No, I'm a straight male and I cook....I'm a straight male and I liked your article" seem to make your case for you.
And Ted Allen? Not a chef, tv personality...okay?
Does Cooking Make You Gay?
Great article. I often wonder about this attitude towards men that cook at home. Baking for me is an enjoyable, creative outlet. Now who would say that I'm less masculine than the guy that heads for a Casino whenever he has a moment to spare. Hey, when my wife & kids are out of the house, I head for the kitchen , grab a favorite cookbook, like Peter Rineharts "Brother Junipers Bread Book'" and I get busy. When I'm done, I am able to share homemade treats with family, friends and co-workers. I never had an easy bake oven, but everybody in my neighborhood knows that I bake, my Doctors know that I bake, women have told me that my scones and brownies are great! - And that's good enough for me.
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I'm a confused mess . . . or so it appears to many around me. In fact, I'm not confused at all on the inside. But I'm a straight man with many qualities generally characterized as "feminine" or "gay." I love to cook; I have two cats; I grow orchids and other houseplants; I used to garden when I had a yard. Along with these more "feminine" characteristics and interests, I have many that are more "masculine." I love sports; when I owned a vehicle, I was my own mechanic; I love building things out of wood using power tools; etc. I laughed aloud when I read a post above by a man who cooks on the holidays, and is received strangely by other straight men because he doesn't know which teams are playing in the bowl game. Just this week, I accidentally made plans to cook for a group of friends on Sunday . . . then remembered it's SuperBowl Sunday . . . and moved my dinner party to Saturday because I want to cook this weekend, but I don't want to miss the game! Also, like one of the other posters who wrote that he began cooking to impress girls, I did too; but unlike him, I had great success with the approach!
However, when it comes to people who barely know me making assumptions about my sexual orientation, they usually assume I'm gay. This is true not only of homophobic men, but also gay men, and straight and gay women. Why? I think it's likely a combination of my hobbies and, perhaps, my mannerisms. But who really knows?!?! Historically, I've had no problem finding women to date, and for several years now I've had the perfect girlfriend. I live in the heart of my city's gayborhood and am hit-on by guys regularly, which I find flattering.
I guess this is all just a long-winded way of saying that the characteristics and hobbies that our society has identified as "masculine" and "feminine" have no dependent or causal relationships with sexual orientation. What's truly sad is that I've known people who have been drawn to particular activities (including cooking) but have refrained from practicing them out of fear of being perceived as gay--letting their own homophobia oppress them. I don't care what people perceive my sexual orientation to be and, as a result, I've long felt free to be who I am--whatever that means.