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"Tofu is one of the most processed foods on earth" is a bit of a misstatement, since when we read "processed" we think "massive factories and chemicals." It was and is no more nor less "processed" than kimchi, pickles, hominy or poi; in the case of tofu and poi the aim is to remove toxins and render the nutrients edible and digestible. Whether it's done by hand, as it has been for over a thousand years, or done in, yes, a massive factory, the process is essentially the same and differs only in detail.

As for the notion that eating tofu will lead to male sterility, if that were true it would certainly limit Chinese population growth; I don't see any signs of that at all, do you?

That is just about exactly the real, authentic recipe from the Brown Hotel in Louisville, and of all the variations I've seen I don't think it's ever been really improved on. My own preference is to split a long crusty roll to make a side-by-side double, and to lay slices of tomato over the turkey and cover all that with the Mornay sauce. I also chop some scallions, both white and green parts, and garnish with those.

There are lots of variations built on this, some better than others; my favorite of those by far is a seafood version with crabmeat and scallops. If you're using the long roll as I do you can also substitute the filled omelet of your choice for the turkey.

Umm, "reserve pod for another use", and then below that "Combine water, sugar, vanilla bean seeds, honey or corn syrup, and minced vanilla bean ...". Was that the "other use"?

I know, picky, picky. But inconsistencies aside this looks wonderful, and I don't even DO sweets. At least not in this universe. H'mmm ...

Add me to the chorus of hundreds - and here I thought I was the only one! - who go for the twofer Sausage McMuffin and potato-ize it; in my case I get the eggs and one hash brown, break that in half and insert each piece between cheese and muffin, then devour. No, the hash browns aren't particularly good by themselves, but in the sandwich they lend crunch and aroma (oh, and carbs too, like I really needed those!). I don't do this often, but if I have to be on the road before breakfast this is my ritual.

I've been making them with nothing more than a bit of salt and Trader Joe's wasabi mayonnaise, though Mrs. O wants a dash of green food coloring just for fun. Only one dozen at a time, and all by hand: the yolks get rubbed through a wire strainer, and then the mayo is beaten in by hand until the appropriate gooeyness is achieved. We then use a decorator tube with no tip on it to fill the whites; there's always enough filling to overfill and still have some left for "dessert" (mine!). Then we finish by sprinkling smoked paprika on top. Lovely flavor combo, and the bright red over green is very cool.

Your homemade mayo and oil looks pretty nice too. As for curry in there, so many people were doing that twenty years ago I almost swore off curry for life.

About "cured": if simply salted meats are cured, then can anyone explain all those packages of bacon and hot dogs at Trader Joe's labelled proudly as "Uncured"? And just why it is anyone should want to buy them?

Re: "canned mushrooms are evil", and similar pronouncements: a very popular and famous (if controversial amongst the foodie population) pizzeria in Eagle Rock, Casa Bianca, was begun and run for 50-some years by an old-school guy who insisted, right up until he died a while back, that the ONLY mushrooms that belong on a pizza are canned ones. And those are the only ones available on any Casa Bianca pizza. Aside from the fact that they're traditional and fresh ones aren't, he noted that fresh mushrooms get all dried out and crackly instead of simply cooking a bit as the canned ones do.

As for my own tastes, I agree with most of J. Kenji's thesis. I would add, however, that I consider the anchovy to be a vital ingredient for most pizzas; while I don't want them on every kind, I want to have the option, and any pizzeria that does not offer them is in my estimation no pizzeria at all.

Grape Nuts, but with a pre-soak in some half-and-half, then a bit of sugar and the 2%. Wheat Chex when I'm being virtuous, Corn Chex when I want to indulge. (I remember when wheat was all there was, and it was called Ralston!) I bet I'd still like Kix …

Sugar Pops were the first pre-sweetened cereal. Since we were restricted by parental fiat to ONE TEASPOON of sugar to the bowl of cereal, my mother was horrified at this sugary mess and wouldn't let it in the house, though plain puffed wheat was frequently on the table. Cooked cereal was something she had no talent for - it always came out lumpy, so steel-cut oats was a revelation to me. I love that too, with butter, salt and pepper, plus a bit of brown sugar.

There was one guy I worked with - and this was in a small room with just three of us - who would stand in the middle of the room and eat as loudly as possible, smacking and slurping and crunching, while carrying on a (usually one-sided) conversation. If it was a between-meal snack, of which he ate many, he would stand behind one of us and watch what we were working on, almost leaning on our shoulders; he seemed to have no concept of "personal space" at all. More than once he dribbled crumbs on me, which he thought was really funny. Even the most pointed objections to any of this rolled right off him; he'd give his bland smile and (for the tenth time that day) say, "Oh, you're saying I'm rude, crude and socially unacceptable?"

In many ways I enjoyed working in an office or studio environment, and usually liked many of my co-workers and got along okay with most of them, even the serious b***holes, but there were those few who justified Sartre's definition of Hell. Now I have only myself to annoy me …

Okay, I can get both rolls like that and Comté cheese at Trader Joe's. I am SOOO going to do that! Not with either salad cream or MW, though …

I'm 70, and I'm enjoying it more every day. Still the family cook, get to putter at it all day if I want to; to me the term "golden years" refers to the color of long-braised pork shoulder, or a good batch of biscuits. Used to design stuff, draw pictures, write and edit for a living, still do as much of that as comes my way. Have a nice old house with Mrs. O in Pasadena, CA; a brother, a son and a grandbaby in Nashville I get to see once a year and friends all over. To keep busy I have that aforementioned old house and a couple of rather less elderly Alfa Romeos. Got great health, most of my original parts, and senior discounts out the gazoo. Life is good …

Out here in SoCal we have an excellent source for aged Gouda, the Westminster Dairy 'way down south near Temecula. An honest-to-Pete Dutch farm out in the desert! Or at least what looks a lot like a desert … They grow their own milk and make it into six or eight different subsets of Gouda, some plain and some flavored (garlic, herbs, smoked), but the aged ones are my faves, with a great depth of flavor and those lovely crunchy crystals. On a hammering-hot summer day their nice cool showroom, complete with friendly attendant in full Dutch costume, is a real treat, as are the cheese samples.

I have two KA grinders, an old Swedish-made forged steel one from the '30s and a Hobart-made plastic one from (judging from the box graphics) the '70s. I bought the latter because the old one came with only the fine plate, and this one was part of a huge bargain we got on a refurbished '50s K5B. While the steel one is probably immortal and the plastic one emphatically is not, the newer one is easier to mount and use, and much easier to clean. Although we have a dishwasher, I've washed by hand all my life, including a stint as a professional "pearl diver", and have no real problem getting either grinder clean. Put the disassembled grinder in plenty of hot water and soap immediately after using it, soak it well while you're doing something else, then use a good bottle brush, plastic scrubber or whatever, rinse it well and dry it thoroughly.

I've been using it just for sausage, but will grilling season upon us I'm taking Kenji's suggestions to heart. Thanks!

One sandwich too few! I'm sure those are all quite lovely, but the best sandwich I've ever had for under $6 is the sandwich - that's THE SANDWICH - made by Rosario at Roma Deli in Pasadena. Crusty roll split, each half drizzled with olive oil, then two or three slices each of mortadella, provolone, and however many are needed of coppa and salami. That's it. He wraps it, asks if there's anything else, and you go pay $5.50, take it off to your lair and devour it. Moaning and/or growling optional.