Serious Eats - seriouseats.com

At about age 12, ordered the Betty Crocker cookbook for myself through a book club... before that I'd always used my mom's really old Better Homes & Gardens cookbook.

Well, hard to give advice as not sure what you mean by "no other weird ingredients" -- does this mean you want it to be strictly macaroni and cheese without anything else? If so, the only way to make it more "upscale" would be to use very high-end gourmet cheeses. Which ones depends on your taste (or that of the people you're serving).

If you just mean that you don't want to add anything hugely distracting from the mac'n'cheesiness of the dish (e.g., peas, chunks of ham, etc.), but don't mind one or two unique ingredients to give it a bit of a twist, then I'd recommend dusting the top, sparingly, with shaved truffle. It is sublime. Or add a splash of sherry or white wine or cognac to the bechamel (to give it a bit of a raclette or fondue quality).

Sweat the the shallots or onions with some minced pancetta for the bechamel.

Take the advice of those who've recommended seeing a new doctor. This sounds a lot like a common condition usually referred to as "toddlers diarrhea" -- it is believed to be caused by diet. It also sounds very much like the typical manifestation of irritable bowel syndrome (IBS) in very young children.

Both conditions are easily diagnosed with a few tests to rule out other more serious conditions (e.g., blood sugar, fecal sample, etc.). They are also treated with dietary changes -- usually increased fat, reduced fluids, restricted intake of fruit juices and sugary drinks, increased fiber from whole grains and vegetables, and possibly a fiber supplement. They typically require no medications. IBS may be outgrown, but not necessarily. Toddlers diarrhea takes care of itself (usually gone by kindergarten if I recall correctly).

As pointed out, fruit is not essential, provided the child is consuming adequate quantities of vegetables.

Again, you definitely should see a new pediatrician, particularly in light of your child's developmental delays.

Do not try to diagnose and treat him yourself (aside from withholding fruit and fruit juices which obviously are causing distress). These gastric symptoms could be related to another more serious condition requiring more aggressive interventions.

Good luck.

Fried chicken and oniony crisp-tender hush puppies deep fried in lard that my FIL rendered himself from a nice big piece of hog jowl the previous day.

Lard-frying. Epiphany.

Oh, it's so nice to be validated by Serious Eaters! Blush...

Regarding a starch base, I was actually thinking of doing baked potatoes to fill with chili and fixns (versus rice or pasta, although I love chili over spaghetti). That would be in addition to the option of pouring it over cornbread (my crowd is mostly of Southern heritage, so pouring chili over corn bread is a natural).

Also, although sour cream tends not to be very popular with my people, it will definitely be there as an option. Along with various hot sauces (Tapatio, Pico Pica, Sriracaha, Franks), red pepper flakes, minced fresh chiles (serrano, jalapeno), fresh-made pico de gallo, Herdez salsa, saltines, chopped scallions, cilantro, and probably some crushed tortilla chips.

What did I miss for fixins? I like mine with cheese and onions, so the rest is not in my area of expertise...

My serious eating resolution is to keep doing it.

I've never made it (don't care for sweet ham preps), but she says "mild cure" -- that means cured. There's no question about that. Specifying mild suggests that she's recommending that's not very salty (e.g., not Virginia ham), and not too smoky-tasting (or probably not smoked at all).

Gammon joint is just another term for ham.

If she herself has recommended a boneless one, then that's what you should use. If it's not specified, I'd use one with a bone. The meat texture is almost always superior, the bone imparts flavor to the meat, and when the ham's all gone, you have a nice bone for soup as @onepct pointed out.

I don't think it matters whether it's fully cooked or not, but you might have slightly better texture with an uncooked or partially cooked one.

Bad to the Bone -- San Juan Capistrano -- only decent place I've been able to find for real BBQ near where I live.

Also, don't love their ribs, probably because it's not actually a BBQ joint, but Houston's has a really tasty bbq SAUCE.

Yep, what @Heart said... if your kids were small, it might be one thing, but they are teens (aka pseudo-adults), and hubby is responsible for himself. However. If you are the one doing the grocery shopping and the bulk of the meal prep, then that is the focus of your responsibility in their eating habits. As so many others have so wisely pointed out, do not buy crap and do not serve crap.

In my house, the policy is, always has been, always will be, "This is what I've made. If you're not hungry enough to eat something nutritious, then you're probably not truly hungry. That said, you are never required to eat all of what I'm serving, but proper manners demand that you taste the food you are served before deciding not to eat it. Please take at least one bite of each thing. If it's unsatisfactory, get yourself up and make some cereal or a PB&J sandwich, because I am not a short-order cook."

My teens eat what I make, and fortunately they love my food. But, even if they aren't always huge fans of the veggies on their plates, or wish the chicken were fried rather than grilled, they never, EVER complain that somebody has gone to the trouble to lovingly prepare them a tasty, nutritious meal. That's just plain bad, disrespectful behavior, and I won't put up with it.

In summary, assuming you're the shopper and cooker, you must buy only the foods you'd like to see eaten. You must prepare only the meals you think are worthwhile. If food is going to waste, get in the habit of informing everyone of tonight's menu, in advance, and asking them if they plan to eat what you are making. If they whine and complain, make less. If there's still most of a meal leftover, cheerfully pack it into containers and announce, "Well, I guess I know what we're having for dinner TOMORROW night!"

Finally, moderation is key. The previous advice of make your transition gradual is very good. Be sure to engage in LOTS of discussion with the family about what's going on and why. They need to understand that this is motivated by love, and that if they must eat crap, they'll just have to get it for themselves (much like refusing to supply an alcoholic with booze).

Just remember. There is no bad food, only badly managed food.

Wow. Lots of excellent ideas. It's amazing how many of these are things that I actually make on a relatively regular basis. Don't know why they didn't pop into my head before. I think I'm just having panic-induced stupidity because I'm so excited to have hubby here for two whole weeks, and I just want everything to be so perfect for him! Guess I should stop and take a deep cleansing breath!

@Jerzee, yes, the vodka things sound like lots of fun! Thinking of doing a test run of those today while I clean house and wrap gifts... hahahaha... *hic*...

Actually, I may take some of those *deconstructed* (flinch) Bloody Mary things to stepson and DIL's holiday party next week (although she is preggers and probably won't appreciate them).

Anyway. Thanks for all the lovely suggestions. I'm feeling inspired, and the clouds are lifting! Feel free to keep adding to the list, because I think I'll bookmark it for future reference!

SE Talkers are the bestest!

Wow. Hardly any votes for Gourmet? I'm not a huge fan of paper magazines that come in the mail, but that's one of the few I actually take. It does what a food mag should do -- provides interesting, very well-written articles on a wide variety of food-related subjects, and a well-balanced mix of recipes, ranging from everyday quick meals to complex, skill-challenging dishes. And it's all pulled together with that absolutely gorgeous, mouth-watering photography (ultimately, the pix are probably the final selling point for me).

As far as Cooks Illustrated is concerned, it is a valuable product, but I'm only a fan of the online subscription. I've subscribed to the paper mag a couple or few times over the years, but I always end up letting it lapse. Although it's a great source of good, solid information, as a magazine, it's just not worth it to me. In terms of value, I think you get MUCH more bang for your buck with the web service, since you are then able to search through all the years of CI data on the web, plus you get their videos and whatnot, and don't have to keep track of magazines.

Are you sure it's mayo and not a yogurt-based sauce?

Well, in July 2007 they reviewed thermometers for barbequeing. They actually weren't all that thrilled with Polder Digital Dual Thermometer/Timer (recommended with reservations), because apparently it took 45 minutes to get an accurate reading. WTF?

That's the only review of a digital that is not an instant read that I was able to find on the CI website.

If he's looking for a thermometer that he can leave in the roast while it cooks, the one CI liked was the Polder Dual Sensor Meat and Oven Thermometer. It is NOT digital and does NOT have an external timer unit, but they said the dial was really easy to read. It runs about $10.