Serious Eats - seriouseats.com

it sounds as if the problem is as much how his pickiness presents itself Vs the actual fact of the pickiness.
you need to negotiate how he goes about tasting and reacting. instead of filling his plate hiding the uneaten, he should take a bite only, then only take more of what he will actually eat. He also must accept that if he rejects what's for dinner, he makes his own substitute.

You, OTOH, have to deal with adjusting your daily cooking to reflect some of his opinions. Cooking can be fun, but the day in day out feeding of your partner & family isn't so much about the fun for you as about the fact that people need to eat. Plus, if he rejects your food in favor or cornflakes or PBJ for days on end, you can't be hurt.

if you someday are having kids, he needs to have learned to reject in a low-key fashion so as not to 'teach' his pickiness to them. I won't go so far as to expect him to sometimes noticeable eat something he is known to dislike, to model polite behaviour. But it would be handy.

PS I was in a relationship in which we had very different food cultures. our inability to appreciate each others standards was but one of many problems. But 3 times a day one or both of of us being annoyed or mad or disappointed sure didn't help. If you cant fine some way to enjoy meals together, some compromises, then hang it up now.

Yum to everyone, and I second the request for @dbcurrie to share some more info about the bubble salad. Sounds like a must-do!

My meal will serve 10 people on Thursday, and then we traditionally do Second Thanksgiving on Friday for all of our friends who are required to spend time with family on actual Thanksgiving Day, but for whom we want to give thanks. That's looking like a group of 14 this year. All food for Second Thanksgiving is leftover from the original meal.

Main Meal:

• Dinner rolls - Cook's Illustrated recipe, the triangle-shaped ones


• Beet salad with feta and cardamom dressing


• Turkey - AB's Good Eats version like some others, but spatchcocked or butterflied - that oven time is too precious!


• Mashed potatoes


• Sweet potatoes with orange juice and Calvados


• Thyme-roasted apples and onions - from Epicurious/Bon Appetit


• Green beans with ginger and soya


• Apple raisin stuffing


• Classic stuffing


• Corn Casserole - a bizarre mix of canned, fresh, and ground corn products that my best friend can't go without on t-giving


• Whole cranberry sauce


• Lots of extra turkey gravy - Cook's Illustrated recipe

Dessert:

• Pumpkin Pie


• French Silk Pie


• Cranberry-Walnut Cobbler

• Spiced cranberry punch - MAKE THIS! http://www.epicurious.com/recipes/food/views/Cranberry-Vodka-Punch-200563 If you like mulled drinks and don't mind getting rather silly, make this sometime this season. It's very strong, but the spices mask the alcohol brilliantly. It's always a huge hit.


• Sparkling juices


• Beer & wine

We are traveling to TX for the holiday and there will be at least 15 people there. Besides the normal roast turkey, dressing, giblet gravy, mashed potatoes, homemade cranberry sauce, there will be many sides, a few of which will be fruit type salads andlots of delicious vegetables, a few pies plus I will be taking pumpkin squares, cranberry nut bread and a pineapple zuchinni cake. One of our favorite recipes is Paula Deen's Tugboat turnips and another is our TX corn casserole. Someone will make the green bean casserole which I hate and won't eat. I much prefer fresh beans! I am thinking about taking a few new cookie recipes too! These are my grandchildren!

My first wife hated eggs, bananas, mustard, my watermelon fruit salad, my top secret recipe 6 grain pancakes, didn't like breakfast in general. Of course, I'm more of a breakfast cook, but her idea of cooking is heating up canned soup (mac and cheese was a highlight of her cooking skills). In fact, when we first got together, the only thing she ate was McDonald's cheeseburgers and fries. (I did get her to eat fresh cut up strawberries.) So when we split, I vowed that I would avoid dating picky eaters.

So of course, my last (I'm planning it that way, anyhow) wife is a great cook - an amateur chef IMHO, but she's vegan (and I'm allergic to the entire legume family). We have great fun trying to create dishes that we can both eat (the entree is always veggies, the protein ends up a side dish for each of us), and she has decided that fried rice with eggs is ok (she is having trouble getting enough protein in her diet). And as a bonus, she loves my pancakes (which I modify by substituting coconut or almond milk for sour milk and/or yogurt), and never complains about my potatoes.

So, as to your problem, drag the bum into the kitchen now and again and make cooking a shared activity - fun-shared, not chore-shared. If he is a good kitchen companion (maybe not entirely his cup-o-tea, but as a special activity), then it will lessen the anti-everything you seem to interpret from him right now, and some of his ideas might end up being useful in figuring out how to feed him when you are cooking without him. If you two can't get along in the kitchen, I'd have to vote for a quick exit strategy.

@lakeloverhh
"Something pumpkin-- not in the mood for pie. Don't want to make a cheesecake. I would love any suggestions from the SE crowd."

Well...
It's called pie, but is more custard in an unusual and lovely presentation...

Baked Whole Pumpkin Pie

4 to 6 lb (2 to 3 kg) pumpkin
6 eggs
2 cups (500 ml) whipping cream
1/2 cup (125 ml) brown sugar
2 tsp (10 ml) molasses
1/2 tsp (2 ml) freshly grated nutmeg
1 tsp (5 ml) cinnamon
1/2 tsp (2 ml) allspice
1/4 tsp (1 ml) powdered ginger
2 TBS (30 ml) butter

Remove the top of the pumpkin and scrape out the seeds and membranes as though you were making a jack-o'lantern. Mix the remaining ingredients together EXCEPT the butter and pour into the pumpkin. Top with the butter, put the lid of the pumpkin in place, and place in a large baking dish. Bake at 350°F (180°C) for 1 to 1 1/2 hours, until the mixture has set. Serve from the pumpkin at the table, scraping a little of the pumpkin flesh to accompany each serving. Serves 6 to 8.

Cooks' Illustrated Garlic Mashed Potatoes
Spatchcocked Turkey smoked or roasted haven't decided which
Gravy
Apple and Sausage stuffing in a crockpot
PW's Sweet Potato Casserole
Yeast rolls
Indiana noodles (MIL)
Green Bean Casserole (MIL)
Scalloped Corn (MIL)
Cranberry Sauce
Also thinking about Roasted Asparagus
Apple Pie
Banana Cream Pie
Pumpkin Pie
Sugar Cream pie (MIL)

I think if you were really crazy about this person, his food habits wouldn't bother you as much.

It would eventually chip away at her patience, no matter how much she cares for him. You can only overlook something for so long before it ends up being part of an argument that goes, "Yeah, and another thing..."

I married a picky eater-- not quite as picky as yours, but some of my faves are the things he hates. Over the last 4 years, it's been easy to "cook around him": to use ingredients he likes, or just make sure the stuff he hates is in large chunks so he can pick it out and give it to me. I kind of like have double the mushrooms in my coq au vin! The thing is, for me, there was no consideration of not getting married to him because of his pickiness-- because it was SO obvious that we were meant to be together in every other way. So now I have artichokes when I go out, not at home, and I make a side of kale for just myself, and it's no big deal.

I have another friend who passionately loves her hubbie of 20 years, but they eat separate meals-- hers are gourmet feasts, and his are pizza, hot dogs, and pancakes (he has a severe food issues).

So it can be done! But it sounds like there are many other things that make you unsure... trust your instinct on this!

I'm sorta torn. To some extent I do agree with tapioca. If food is your passion then there is no real way it's going to work out (and you kinda knew that). I am sorta dealing with the same thing, but the exception is that it's only a couple of things and of those things the problem is that he has eaten canned versions and not fresh versions. So I am slowly converting him. I'm still working on cucumbers and pickles - he's German can you imagine him not liking pickles, isn't there some rule about pickled food and Germans. Anyway - if it were a few things then I'd work around it but he seems pickey like a child and for me that's a big red flag.
Years ago someone told me that you can tell everything about a person by what they eat...she was so right

@betteirene - hope you get this. Sounds like you are busy and I won't rush you, but sometime next week after your Thanksgiving, will you please post your method of cooking sweet potatoes in gingerale with the fresh ginger and butter? Out of all the posts here, this one intrigues me the most. Up here in Canada, sweet potato pies with marshmallows and brown sugar, etc. are almost unheard of, and frankly, they do not sound appetizing. However, your recipe sounds like it would be worth a try. Thanks and have a great day - we have large family celebrations as well and I know how much fun you will have.

Being with someone who starts out a picky eater but eventually decides to expand his horizons is not the same as being with someone unwilling to budge. One is a victory that opens up a whole new world of flavors - the other is a huge pain in the ass.

Canadian Sunshine could end up with a chronically frustrating life with this picky eater. In considering a long-term or even a lifetime relationship, you need to identify the features and characteristics in the other person and in your interactions which will eventually drive you nuts. In several areas of our life together that could describe my 45 years of marriage but he loves my cooking, most of which involves a big bowl or plate of homemade glop du jour. He is enthusiastic about every vegetable except brussels sprouts and turnips, both of which hit his "too-bitter button." I love to shop for food, cook food, share food with others, and eat it myself. Without a welcoming audience at home for my cooking, my life, which is rich in so many ways, would be much poorer. Canadian Sunshine should not settle for this picky eater. They are not compatible.