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WHERE IN THE WORLD CAN I FIND MACARONS???? I WANT A MACARON CAKE FOR MY BEST FRIEND'S BRIDAL SHOWER, BUT CANT FIND ANYONE THAT DOES THEM IN ATLANTA. HELP!!!!

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I recently purchased a bottle of wine that was described on the label as, "smooth and eternal like the nameless flower which blooms every year in memory of an eternal love."

I was so disappointed when it turned out that it still just tasted like wine. ;)

My favorite is "hints of baby vomit from a baby fed with formula". Mind you, this was said as a positive note.

"I get a mouthful of wet slate, and bacon fat on the finish."

My favorite to pull out at wine tastings is: 'It's aggressive without being pushy." It's just serious enough sounding that the snobs don't know you're mocking them.

Okay, so I work in a winery tasting room and have heard a ton of 'em. One of my favorites comes from the winery up the road: they describe their wine as having a hint of barnyard.

I like when we let the wine 'breathe.' :)

Like a walk in a fungus-filled woods.

I am mostly inclined towards wines with notes of leather and chocolate and that finish in tobacco. That way on my off days I can get the same effect as drinking from sitting in Don's Smoke Emporium without having to suffer the hangover the next day.

My favorite wine ca-ca,

"Nebraska ditch weed"

Straight from Chicago's Bin 36: "expresses vivid minerality, as bonus it also boasts a healthy dose of juicy round tree fruit." Are there trees that aren't round?

Years ago at a fine, but not great, restaurant in the southern Rhone Valley I found myself at the table with about 7 other wine dorks. Needless to say we examined the extensive wine list and argued about the perfect choice to begin the meal. The winner was a Chateauneuf du Pape Blanc from a rather famous producer, and it left us completely underwhelmed. The wine was sound, but not up to par. We agreed its most obvious flaw was a dearth of acidity, leading to a glaring lack of freshness and liveliness and a rather heavy, unpleasant finish. Slight frowns and confused looks were exchanged. One friend friend hit it on the head by exclaiming "this thing is sitting on my palate like a waxy cadaver!"