Serious Eats - seriouseats.com

How do you get a white trash girl to suck your d**k?

Dip it in ranch dressing.

@RossS: Thanks! While writing this article I mused over the same question... and then realized that popular Americanized interpretations of foreign cuisine are often so off the mark that blogging about them - giving them any additional thought, really - would just be depressing. I know a good number of Chinese graduate students who don't ever eat out in the US; they prefer to cook traditional meals for themselves at home.

@JimInHolland: It's dumb, but sometimes those inane cravings hit one uninvited and with bizarre force. In my experience, it takes at least a couple months of living in a foreign country. Awhile ago I spent a year studying in China and although I love Chinese food and have a fairly adventurous palate, by the second semester I was desperate, seriously desperate, for American supermarket-style white sheet cake. You know, those two humdrum layers of yellow sponge, sandwiching bland vanilla custard and sagging under an inch of the kind of sickeningly sweet buttercream icing that crusts over slightly after sitting on the bakery counter for a day. I would've killed for a slice.

Anyway, your assessment of the MOS burger beef patty is spot on. Their Asian fillings are probably tastier - teriyaki chicken, yakiniku, unagi and the like.

@JimInHolland: Spill now about the burger joint! I was just having this discussion with friends: I have yet to be convinced that they can make a good burger in Holland. (if you send me the name of your place, I'll give it a go!) I have not been to this Burgermeester place yet, but I am skeptical. Meanwhile, we are continuing to try and perfect smashed burgers at home instead.

forget about hash and eggs...maybe hash and burgers..lol

I own a cow in the Netherlands. Ok, not really, but we sponsor a koo, they have this program where you basically sponsor a cow and get updates on the cow...well until they go where good cows go. And you can visit the farm and visit your koo and the kindly Dutch farmer will serve you tea and you will awkwardly sit in the kitchen cause you don't speak Dutch.

Anyway, my friend who lives in Amsterdam gets the updates and says she takes her nieces and nephews to see the cow...and then they go to Burger King for a meal. Too funny.

What!!!! TELL ME NOW!!! If you email it to me I promise I won't tell anyone.

Lance: I'd heard the same thing several times from people recommending Spinato's, but when pressed, most of them admitted to never having been to Bianco.

Ahhh, Organ Stop Pizza. I grew up right by the Mesa location. Bizarre, and the pizza was never all that great, but the overall experience was fun.

Looking forward to Friday. My flight gets in at 3:45 and I've already co-opted a friend to wait in line at Bianco.

Magpies in Tucson is also worth checking out. It's been a long time since I was there (they now have 5 locations instead of just the 1 that I remember) but as I recall their pizzas were a bit New York and a bit California.

I don't put ranch on anything! Gross tasting stuff.

I absolutely love ranch on my pizza. Granted, I am a middle-school student (though homeschooled), and got the idea from my (middle school, homeschooled) friends after we started dipping French-Fries in Ranch (that's justified in Mich--here most of the fries are way too greasy or way too dry). We decided to try it on our pizza--and it's great. Only Hidden Valley (tm) works though. Deep dish pizza doesn't need it, fortunately. A group fave for us is cayenne pepper, fresh black pepper, ranch, and tabasco sauce. I agree, if it's good pizza, it doesn't need condiments, but (1) pizza in metro-detroit isn't that good, and (2), it doesn't matter if it needs it--if ya want it, I say put it on unashamedly!

They're tastey but they're like 700 calories each!!!!!!