Hamburglar Hadley's Profile
The Ten Most Recent Posts By Hamburglar Hadley
From A Hamburger Today
Posted by Hamburglar Hadley, March 18, 2006 at 12:56 PM
Like Ahab chasing his white whale or Quint on the thrashing tail of Jaws, I had been doing my best to track down the elusive burger truck for weeks, having spotted it in my neighborhood one lazy afternoon. Despite my voyages though the neighborhood of West Los Angeles, just a little shy of the swarming 405 freeway, I came up with nothing, the burger truck a fleeting ghost in my life. In Los Angeles, we have more than our share of taco trucks, so this phantom purveyor of transportable burgers seemed an anomaly, a natural progression from south-of-the-border quick cheap eats to the northern cuisine enjoyed the world over.
Thar She Blows!
I pride myself on a healthy lifestyle. In order to bring you the best and brightest of L.A. burgers, I must maintain a good diet and an intense workout regimen. So it was that I awoke one morning and made a quick trip to Vons Supermarket to replenish my supply of Grape Nuts and almond milk. Driving home, I spotted the burger truck on a nearby block. My heart skipped a beat. I dashed to my apartment to snatch my camera and went off again, the sounds of K-Day blasting Tupac in my ears, "I ain’t a killa, but don’t push me ..."
Spotting the truck, still at its drop-off point, I locked onto it and drove forward. As I approached, it must have seen the voracious intent in my eyes, as the driver slammed on the gas and made a break for it. I flipped a fast U-turn in plain view of the local police station, and the pursuit was on. Across Iowa and down Sawtelle, I pursued my prey with thoughts of ground beef on my brain. At one point, an interloping Acura came between us, and I worried I would lose my target. Once that problem disappeared in a few minutes, we hit the busy throughway of Olympic and following the burger truck's suicide left, I was hot on its azz and close enough to catch a phone number on the backside of the truck (right). I placed a call to the confused owner and found out the next stop would be a construction site on Greenfield.
Sure enough, we planted ourselves on the aforementioned street, Martin’s Burgers in front of a half-built house, myself in a red zone with motor running. I approached the kind owner, Martin, just before a rush of hardworking Mexican and Central American fans joined the queue. I placed my order for a cheeseburger, then questioned Martin as to how he developed the idea for the first hamburger truck I’d ever seen.
“I used to work over at Big Joe’s burgers, and I wanted to name my truck Little Joe’s before being told that might be a problem. So I named it after myself, Martin (pronounced Marteen)." Simple enough, now how about that burger?
The Belly and the Beef
Five minutes and $2.50 later, my cheeseburger was in my hands and ready to be devoured in my illegal parking spot. The burger was slightly bigger than medium size, about perfect for a filling lunch. My first bite of Martin’s mobile burger pleasantly surprised me. It was good, great even. A coarse patty with slightly charred ends and gooey American cheese poked out of its white wax wrapper. Very juicy with a charbroiled taste, just enough lettuce and a tasty dollop of mayo had me happy I’d eschewed the Grape Nuts for a burger at 11 a.m. The mayo was perhaps too plenty for some tastes, but the tomato and lettuce toppings and thin layer of cheese mixed well with the nearly hot patty and soft bun. Juice and yummy grease oozed out of the patty, ruining my diet but completing my life. Martin’s burger is much tastier and fulfilling than many I’ve sampled at stands and chains who claim they have "the best burger in town."
Sometimes it’s the thrill of the chase that gets us burger bloodhounds all revved up. In this case, the quarry was just as satisfying. If you can’t find Martin’s Burgers on your block, give them a call at 310-422-9337 and see where he’ll be next. We are yet to arrive at the Pico-Union address Martin’s gives for his burgers, but maybe they are available and just as good over there. We shall soon see!
MARTIN'S BURGERS
Phone: 310-422-9337
Location: Mobile throughout Los Angeles or 924 W. Washington Blvd. 90015
Price: Cheeseburger, $2.50
Short Order: The first burger truck we’ve ever seen and quite tasty at that
From A Hamburger Today
Posted by Hamburglar Hadley, December 8, 2005 at 4:00 PM
Despite what Everclear says, Summerland is not just a name on the map, though it still seems like heaven to me. Nestled in a shady nook between Montecito and Carpinteria, for years Summerland slumbered away as a small artists' beach community of quaint houses and inspired decorations. Now, as the rich get richer, Summerland has experienced a boom as everyone else becomes too poor to live in Santa Barbara or anywhere within a 20-mile radius. Today, Summerland is a patchwork of yuppie antiques stores and slowly invading cafés, but many of the village’s treasures remain to this day, including the Sandpiper Liquor Store, the Wild West burgers of the Nugget, the Big Yellow House, and the town’s two tiny burger veterans, Tinker’s and Stacky’s Seaside.
I pulled into Summerland on a hot summer weekend in July, tempted by the sign on a newer restaurant promising Burger Madness Tuesdays. At $3.99 a pop, I had trouble understanding what great deal was afoot, so I turned my attention toward Tinker’s, unable to remember which had the better burgers between it and Stacky’s. Tinker’s is a thin hallway (top right) with a sandy 1950s beach obsession and an outdoor patio. Slinging all sorts of burgertime treats, Tinker’s has quite a few devotees.
Taking my place in line before a gang of pre-pubescent surf rats, the first things to catch my eye were the cute high school girls working the counter (left). Smiling with teeth full of glimmering braces, they were sweet and funny, even allowing me to snap a candid photo or two. I placed my order for a cheeseburger and ordered a plate of mini-burgers for myself and my friend Cody, visiting from Vero Beach, Florida. After a ten-minute wait outside baking in the sun and watching the weekend traffic saunter by, our burgers arrived in nostalgia-inducing red plastic baskets piled high with fries (below).
Unfortunately, the warm fuzzy feeling did not extend toward the burger. Despite a great-looking presentation of glimmering traditional-style burgers, mine was not only less-than-remarkable, and I was sad to discover more than a couple gristly bites that I’d rather not have taken. The grilled bun was a nice touch, but the patty did not hold up, it was noticeably inferior in quality. It also had grilled edges that tasted nicely charred, but the thinness of the meat was also somewhat shady. The sauce (Thousand Island?) and fixings—onion, tomato, lettuce—came correct (above right), but the burger rated about 5 out of 10. The mini burgers (above left) were a tad better, their diminutive size obscuring any inconsistencies in the patty. At more than $6 for a meal, however, it doesn't seem worth it. Upon realizing my follies, I figured that it must be Stacky’s that had the legendary Summerland burgers.
Coming back to Summerland is a treat. With the Nugget (where presidents Clinton and Reagan went for burgers), the place announcing Burger Madness Tuesday, and the expectation set by Stacky’s and a lackluster flavor at Tinker’s, it will be a pleasure to return soon and settle who is slinging the best burger. Until then, I’m recommending Stacky’s. Maybe they can hire these two cute cooks and have the best of both worlds!
TINKER'S BURGERS
Location: 2275 Ortega Hill Road; Summerland CA 93067
Phone: 805-969-1970
Price: $5 burgers
Short Order: Beachside 1950s grill could have better patties, but still high on ambiance and charm. Better burgers in neighborhood worth exploring.
From A Hamburger Today
Posted by Hamburglar Hadley, September 22, 2005 at 12:43 PM
Great news! On Monday, September 20, the West Hollywood City Council and Historic Preservation Commission gave Irv's Burgers a Cultural Resource Designation. This important decision means the original burger stand, in place since 1950, will remain intact, a true testament to burger history and the fight the community waged to keep its beloved stand. The only bad news is this does not necessarily protect the Hong family's business, which will rely entirely on the decision of the (hopefully beneveloent) landlord. Technically, Irv’s could still become Irv’s Starbucks, as long as the structure and patio are maintained. Read the entire recommendation in this PDF, and then go get a superior Irv’s burger with those amazing fries. Congratulations Irv’s and West Hollywood!
From A Hamburger Today
Posted by Hamburglar Hadley, September 2, 2005 at 1:00 AM
Many people agree that having one less McDonald's is not necessarily a bad thing, but the recent removal of the old school McDonald's at Highland and Sunset in Hollywood is a sad departure of a North American icon. Rather than a standard issue McDeez, this small white hut was a relic from the 1950s, when McDonald's first began. It featured steeple-esque roofing and a gigantic statue-sign of the chain's original mascot, Speedee the Chef, a cuter, simpler precursor to the bad-acid-trip-recalling, HR Pufnstuf rip-offs that now rule McDonaldland (RIP Mac Tonight).
So Speedee, who would glow in neon come nightfall and reveal a questionable lump in his trousers, has been offed, leaving merely a maze of gang graffiti covering his sad remains.
With In-N-Out and even Carl's Jr. as neighbors, I guess this change was inevitable. But we would have rather seen the McDonald's on Hollywood Boulevard—dubbed the most expensive McDonald's in existence, with a giant movie marquee announcing itself but a fairly lackluster interior—removed than this small slice of our hamburger heritage. So it goes sometimes. At least the oldest existing McDonald's still resides somewhere out on Lakewood Boulevard in Downey in South Central and still sports a giant Speedee with that old school burger-stand style.
On the other end of the McDonald's funding universe, I spotted this corporate-style McDonald's in San Diego's downtown recently, blending into the landscape of steel and glass. I kind of like it and have learned as long as we have to have McDonald's, maybe it's preferable to have them buck the cookie-cutter spaces for some ingenuity. We'll always recognize those golden arches from a mile away.
Also, if any readers have any pictures of the passed Sunset–Highland McDonalds, I’d love to see once again what it looked like and share it on AHT.
From A Hamburger Today
Posted by Hamburglar Hadley, August 16, 2005 at 11:30 AM
The Apple Pan in West Los Angeles is as famous as its bones are bare. A simple horse-shoe counter brimming with customers, behind which two cooks and three servers (all long-in-the-tooth, sweet gentleman rocking white paper hats and aprons) scurry like chaps on a mission, its guts are not much to behold. Instead, the effort goes into the few items that dominate the sparse menu, from fruit pies to ham-and-tuna sandwiches to, of course, the famous burgers.
The Apple Pan resides in a charming wood-and-brick house (see photos at top) that faces the Westwood Pavilion like an indie David facing off against corporate Goliath. Stepping inside instantly transports you to the 1950s, with local families enjoying the same awesome burgers and famous pies that they have for generations. It's not the 1950s recreated à la Fatburger or In-N-Out. No, the Apple Pan harks back to a more rural Los Angeles and a time when this location was surrounded by farms and orchards. Despite innumerable offers from developers, the Apple Pan has remained in the same family since its founding in 1947. It is now run by Martha Gamble, whose parents, Alan and Ellen (cute, right?), started the restaurant with an early focus on one of their parents' pie recipes as a star attraction. Today, the Apple Pan is an L.A. institution and serves a hamburger worth coming a great distance for.
Walking into the Apple Pan with my two associates—Mike, a visiting warrior from Swaziland, and Brooks Rosenquist, former New Orleans public school teacher/warrior and current hard rocker—the Pan's every last seat was filled, as usual. The wait died in five minutes, however, and we bellied up to the counter, catching sullen looks from some middle-aged men in the corner who no doubt used to munch here while ditching the high school bell, now seemingly ditching the ball 'n' chain.
Though the seats have too little space for some burger loving butts, it is an honor to sit before the harried staff of the Apple Pan. A lot of people say the servers are gruff, but they are just old school, looking as if they have worked here since they were teenagers, as some sort of Sisyphean punishment to serve hamburgers until the day North Americans have had enough. In other words, they are not about to introduce themselves like "Stacey from Torrance" does at your favorite California Pizza Kitchen location. They average about 70, and you know serving burgers to a bunch of punks and their padres at that age has to suck. Essentially, if it's not on the menu, don't waste anyone's time asking for it.
The Apple Pan busts two famous hamburgers: the Steakburger and the Hickory Burger. Both are amazing, so my crew and I mixed it up with a few of each. Watching the servers in action as they placated and fed normal-looking Angelenos (they exist) helped pass the time fast enough. Mike broke down the significance of the cow in Zulu culture, making us feel a venerated gravity in anticipation of one of Los Angeles's best.
First the fries arrived on teensy paper plates (left) to stave off the salivation, coming thick but with a good balance of lightness and crunch—though not really anything to spazz about. Our waiter, ever the hardcore pro, flipped his Heinz bottle like Tom Cruise in Cocktail, pouring a thick blotch of ketchup all over our plates in a flash, before moving on to the next victim.
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From A Hamburger Today
Posted by Hamburglar Hadley, August 2, 2005 at 10:00 AM
Shortly after undertaking my exploration of Los Angeles's burgers, I heard more and more whispers about Irv's, the classic West Hollywood hamburger stand in constant danger of being turned into yet another redundant chain store, thanks to its precarious month-to-month lease on some prime real estate. As my burger search intensified, so did the pressure to bring the word about Irv's to AHT readers; support is desperately needed for its plight. A surprising plight, considering Irv's shows up on every food critic's top-Angeleno-burger list.
Irv's is one of few remaining Post-WWII California roadside diners that sits along Route 66, that fabled stretch of highway that once ran from the Pacific Ocean through the Southwest to Chicago. There used to be hundreds of joints just like it, quickly dispatching burgers to Cali's erupting car culture. Irv's, dubbed Queen's Burgers in olden times, was the beloved burger of '70s heroes like Cassavettes, Rowlands, Hendrix, Janis, and Mr. Mojo Rising. Linda Ronstadt even featured Irv's on one of her LP covers in her superhottie days (see photo, above right). Check their history on their website, a true testament to Irv's value in this city and nation's heritage.
Today, it is owned by the incredible Hong family, striving to keep their business at Irv's as much as the community is clamoring to keep them. Locals formed a vigilante crew, the Burger Brigade, dedicated to defending Irv's from ubiquitous corporate greed.
Last Saturday, during an action-packed tour I was giving to a visiting Floridian amigo, I swerved from Melrose to Fairfax to Santa Monica, hunting down Irv's, which has been stationed there since 1950. Wading through Saturday-afternoon traffic, I spotted my destination at Sweetzer, realizing I had passed the corner 80 times in the past six months without once spotting Irv's. Upon inspection, I saw that it proudly stands, 55 years of burger history, behind a colorful hand-painted hut, sporting simple patio seating blanketed with homemade roofing.
At the counter, a beautiful, friendly face, illuminated by a bright-pink shirt, popped out from the stand's shallow confines. I was sweetly greeted and asked for my order. With each request and ensuing adjustment, my sweet young order-taker showed a knack for warm-hearted prophecy. "I know you wanted a cheeseburger," she said, noting, "Grilled onions—good for Saturday." Never have I had service with such genuine smiles and spirit. The sugary lass is Sonia Hong (see photo, left), owner of Irv's. She clearly has a genuine passion for serving burgers to her neighborhood fans, evident in the flavor of the eats. She even posed for pictures, something the Apple (Dumplin') Pan Gang didn't seem into (Apple Pan review to come).
When my Irv's cheeseburger hit the easy, breezy tables, I was truly touched by the hand-drawn blue shirt and inscription, "Just for You," on my paper plate (see photo, second row from top). It gave me feelings of specialness I'd never felt before. Sonia has a reputation for customer interaction that goes above and beyond, often knowing intimate details of her burger-, breakfast-, and teriyaki-addicts' lives and hollerin' at 'em by name. Cute, sweet, and funny (sigh). But can she pull a burger bachelor's dream quartet by serving a perfect burger?
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From A Hamburger Today
Posted by Hamburglar Hadley, August 1, 2005 at 10:00 AM
Boondocks, Aaron McGruder's highlarious comic strip about the politics and perspectives of a scattering of diminutive soul brothers, recently ran a few strips about McDonald's recruitment of hip-hop fashion designers to revamp employee outfits. The widely circulated Boondocks, in its typically witty, droll style, skewered the restaurant and sporadically continues to do so in its daily strips, most recently decrying McDonald's attempts to push itself as a "lifestyle brand." We're hopeful that AHT readers have had a chance to check out some of this brilliant work. The one above is my personal favorite (click to enlarge).
From A Hamburger Today
Posted by Hamburglar Hadley, July 26, 2005 at 12:00 PM
Despite humble origins on the steppes of Mongolia or in Germany, the hamburger as we know it is a distinctly North American phenomenon. The ground beef 'n' bun combo we adore rates with rock n' roll, baseball, apple pie, and gratuitous shopping as one of the true-blue trademarks of the USA.
Having highlighted the burgers of Vietnam, Japan, and Finland, among other international bucks on our beloved site, I was wracked with curiosity over whether there was any place on Earth where hamburgers could not be found. Whether it's a veggie Mickey D's in Mumbai or a grass-fed one-pounder in Buenos Aires, burgers are surely represented in It's a Small World–esque dimensions. The aforementioned chain's aggressive expansion even connotes corporate imperialism to many in the international arena.
But what about Cuba? The defiant land that resists Western imperialism for unfortunate dictatorial communism to the dismay of so many, has nary a commercial enterprise on its tropical pelt. With a U.S.–imposed embargo along with a state financial structure guaranteed to keep most Cubans from venturing into the surrounding world and most private enterprise out, could hamburgers have penetrated the lush natural paradise and decaying colonial hell that slumbers 90 miles below Miami?
With a little research, I learned there are more than 1,000 pizzerias on the island, but according to the University of Washington–Tacoma, "Typical 'American' foods like hamburgers and fries are not common in Cuba." In John T. Edge's instant classic Hamburgers & Fries, the author includes a chapter called "Fidel's Fritas," about the Cuban street food arguably based on our hamburgers. Fritas are a classic native combination of beef and nuts now widely available in the U.S. in Miami. Frita vendors were a way of life in Cuba, at least pre-revolution.
What if I took a "hypothetical" trip to Cuba? What might I find? Landing in Havana, I was whisked into Old Havana, the scene of calamitous revolution, seemingly still occurring; a full-on assault of colonial grandeur from all-sides that is broken, graying, and sagging. A city of infinite beauty with Spanish monuments, cathedrals, and meandering coastlines, dotted with Soviet-era structures, unique homes, and Che murals. It's a wonderland of new faces: beautiful, smooth, and ancient, showcasing the stunning intertwinings of Africa, Spain, Asia, and the Americas.
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From A Hamburger Today
Posted by Hamburglar Hadley, July 13, 2005 at 10:00 AM
ARCHIVES > AHT REVIEWS > CALIFORNIA > LOS ANGELES
Seeing as the Fourth of July is the biggest burger-munching day for Americans, I could hardly stand to face it alone. Using the scant wits I could muster up, I employed a scheme certain to get ravishingly gorgeous AHT senior editor Honey P. to Los Angeles for the weekend. Knowing Honey P’s heart to be as deep as the livid pools of amber she refers to as her "eyes," I placed an urgent call to her on behalf of Irv’s Burgers, the legendary West Hollywood burger stand which has been fighting to stay alive amid plans for neighborhood redevelopment. I told Honey P. she must help me help Irv’s, and before I knew it, the kind, sweet soul was westbound from New York City for four wonderful days.
The sad news is that we never made it to Irv's. My search for something to surf on during a flat weekend and her desire to explore L.A.'s farthest reaches kept us too busy. The good news is that Irv's recently won a battle to overturn the designation that would see it demolished, though it's not in the clear yet. However, Honey P. and I did find ourselves at Santa Monica's The Counter, a popular designer diner with a unique Build Your Own Burger concept.
Entering the sleek eatery, with its Emeco chairs, giant open garage door, and photo exhibition of the Dogtown skate days, we were seated immediately by one of the Counter's friendly and gorgeous young waitresses (ours even scribed a smiley face and heart on our bill). Meeting us at our table were small clipboards holding smaller pencils and a checklist of everything a control freak could desire while crafting a perfect burger.
The Counter is no doubt cool, bringing a bevy of families, dates, and coworkers to the old-school-classic-meets-contemporary space. Candles line the doorway, and a long bar sits opposite a roomful of satisfied-looking guests. Browsing the menu, we found a great selection of interesting, adventurous treats to indulge in. Fried dill pickle chips, a cold meatloaf sandwich, PB & J, and something called "taco turkey" bit our interest. But the burger possibilities seemed endless. In addition to its six signature burgers and the build-your-own device, there was burger-in-a-bowl for the carbophobic, mini burgers, shakes and 50-50 onion ring–french fry combos.
We decided to build the burger of our dreams, a challenge given the Counter's seemingly endless combinations. Diners are given a choice of beef, turkey, or veggie in 1/3 pound, 2/3 pound, and 1 pound weights. Ten choices of cheese are available, from Greek feta and Danish blue to horseradish cheddar and herb goat cheese. You can choose four toppings (additional ones are 50¢ each), which range from standards like red onion and lettuce to the exotic (for burgers, anyway), such as dried cranberries, grilled pineapple, and roasted corn and black bean salsa. $1 premium toppings include avocado, fried egg, Black Forest ham, and honey-cured bacon. Next comes the sauce section, with a staggering display of 23, ranging from apricot sauce to peanut to sweet barbecue. Bun choices are a bit more limited: English muffin, honey wheat bun, and the traditional style.
I put together something not too unconventional, a 1/3-pounder on a regular bun with jalapeño Jack, a lettuce blend, roasted red peppers, grilled onions, tomaters, and dill pickles with roasted-garlic aioli. Hot-as-a-firecracker-on-the-Fourth Honey P. put together, on a traditional bun, a 1/3-pounder with grilled onions, sautéed mushrooms, Tillamook cheddar, and the same aioli I chose. (You can see her creation toward the top of this entry.) We went with the 50-50 and refillable Cokes, and soaked in the atmosphere. Honey P. was excited to spot actress Jennifer Elsie Cox, who debuted as Jan in the Brady Bunch Movie. Soon, our 50-50 came. The wispy onion rings topped the standard fries by leaps and bounds.
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From A Hamburger Today
Posted by Hamburglar Hadley, July 6, 2005 at 12:36 AM
¡Que lastima pinche bueys! The hardcore burger aficionados at A Hamburger Today are used to suffering slights and jeers for our obsession with all things burger, but hamburger discrimination just reached shocking new heights.
During a recent jaunt through the Mexico City International Airport, an immense travel hub where McDonald's surely holds a presence, Big Brother 'Burglar and I spotted this hateful sign lingering near our gate. It caused me much sadness and consternation, and in the case of big bro, furious anger. Knowing the diverse citizens of Mexico City share our general hankering for hamburgers, we place the blame on a hateful flight administration determined to stamp out burger use.
Whether their fascist plan to rob us of our passion and replace our diets with soylent green will work, we are fighting hard to spread the word that the burger war is bubbling with antiburger propaganda such as this. First they come for our buns, then they come for our burgers—finally, they'll come for us.
¡Viva la hamburguesa!
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