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What do you feed your pets?

hmmmmmmmm. well. Samantha Jane-Joanie Boney-Sammy Wammy-Joanathon-Becky (all one dog...a myriad of names depending upon what she feels like answering to that day) is 16. She is a shepard-wolf mix and is, uhhhhhh, hmmmm, well, spoiled as all hell. She has a variety of different pouches and cans that I warm in the microwave and she turns her snout up at. It is just far easier to make her a plate of whatever we are having for dinner. If I, horror of horrors, do not cook, I generally get a guilt complex and make her bacon and eggs, an omelette, grilled ham and know, typical dog fare. She gets a puppy cup from Dairy Queen when we go and looks completely dejected if someone forgets her. There isnt much she wont eat...she isnt a fan of carrots or mushrooms, but loves banana crunch muffins and salad with bleu cheese viniagrette. She will munch a few kibbles from something called Purina Little Bites, which I am fairly certain is for pups but when you are 16, you eat whatever the piss you please.


Do You Have A Dream Kitchen?

Hmmmmm. Alright. I need a solid two thousand square feet. Heated quarry stone floor. Solid granite counters. LARGE island with its own prep sink/disposer, small fridge, pull out fridge drawers, wine cooler and and built in knife block. Double wall ovens (as in 4 total). 6 burner Viking with enough BTU's to melt the surface of the Earth. A hood that can suck a watermelon through a garden hose. Walk in pantry, one side dedicated solely to equipment and small appliances. Cast sink with overhead pot fillers. Double dishwashers. Baking station that includes a Hobart Professional stand mixer (on the floor) and a chilled marble top for rolling pastry and doughs. A large Arctic Air freezer necessary. The upright freezer can hang out in the pantry out of the way with the ice machine. Ummmm, lemme see....oh! Just for kicks, an ice cream maker, blast chiller and a salamander. Ive thought about it a time or two... :)

Food to feed a sore body

Try aquahydrate water. Google it. Amazing stuff. Did the 7 day challenge and seriously felt better than I normally would after an intense set of 4 20 hour days.

Too many tomatoes!

Slow roast them in the oven with garlic, olive oil, Basil and salt and pepper. Make sure to line your sheet pans. Slow and steady wins the race on this one. Bag them and shove in the freezer for sandwiches, antipasta, snacking, bruscetta, pretty much anytime you need a tomato this winter.

Missing chick salad ingredient?

Scratch the cream. Add scallion and Greek yogurt.

White cake

Dude. She said the cheap bakeries. Buy a bottle of some baking essence from king Arthur flour. It will get you the flavor you are looking for.

I get that jumping into all that sifting, creaming, $25 vanilla seems like logic, but sometimes, less is more. I certainly have never sifted a bloody thing in my life and I sell so many cupcakes and cinnies I can't keep up.


I have no idea how to post a pic, but someone around this joint must be friends with me on facebook and have seen my popover pics in my food porn album.

Get the popover pans. Grease them HEAVILY with melted butter. Crank your oven to 400 degrees for AT LEAST 30 minutes before you are going to bake them.

2 cups of WHOLE milk (cold)
6 eggs (cold)
beat the hell out of til nice and foamy
add a good pinch of salt and
2 cups of flour
beat til combined and then drizzle in
1/2 stick of melted, room temp butter

set aside for 30 minutes.

fill the pans 2/3 full. You will have just enough batter for 12 popovers. Slide them in the oven, one on the up rack, one on the pan slightly left, one pan slightly right. WALK AWAY. Dont peek. Dont open it. Dont sniff by it for AT LEAST 20 minutes. Then look through the door. They may be popped but that doesnt mean they are done. Let them go longer. The reason that most popovers sink is because the centers arent done and they collapse after the heat stops.

Im generally rarely wrong. True story. Ask around.

Serious Eater Twitter user names

@ChelleShocked01...I post frequently, but 100% of the time it is in regards to New Kids On The Block. Dont hate.

A waaaay past date can of black winter truffle breakings. Help!

You said the jar is sealed? As in never has the seal been broken and death filled air hit the contents? If that is the case and the jar/can/whatever containment unit is housing the truffles is not puffy, bloated, seeping anything and does not foam anything when you pop the lid, Id say the hell with it and give it a whirl.

Realistically, one taste and you will know if they have hit shit, so to speak. And ANYWAY, who the hell uses a whole jar/can/whatever containment unit is housing the truffles all at one time anyway?

Is Taste Purely Subjective?

This is no secret to ANYONE on these boards. I hate, in no particular order: eggs, pumpkin, seafood, mushrooms, olives, pasta, feta cheese when bastardized with watermelon and named a "salad", walnuts and rosemary. Does this make my taste subjective? No. The first 6 are textural problems for me. The feta explains itself, walnuts taste like dirt and rosemary tastes like a pine tree smells. Gross.

This is also no secret...TK could cook me any meal he wanted and include any of the above ingredients and I would tell him, just as I would tell you or anyone else to eff off. Disinterested. I know what I like. I know what I dont like. I know that I held a very successful tasting event on Monday evening and I know that 2 of my team are smokers and they were banned from smoking the entire day of the event. Get a patch...pill...gum, just dont you dare smoke and then come near my food.

Doesnt make me "subjective" it makes me confident.


@ allot and mollykate... thanks. you wont be sorry. I generally make a double batch making sure to use whole milk, generous salt and pepper as well as a smidge of nutmeg. Off the heat I add in a few handfuls of good aged romano, give it a wisk and call it good. I let it cool for a good 15 minutes before I assemble the layers so it doesnt overcook the pasta.

@ ChefRobert...dude, Im not sure who you think you are dealing with, exactly. You can add "chef" to the beginning of any name you want and that doesnt make them one. You most certainly DO NOT need ricotta for a lasagna and bechamel is most certainly NOT better suited just for mac n cheese. (Uhhhh, any facebookers out there want to re-itterate this comment by my foodie pics on my catering/personal chef page??? I believe there are quite a few photos to substantiate my comment). THAT being said, the texture of bechamel is far more appealing than that of ricotta. You can make ricotta in 10 minutes but why in the hell would you want to? Its wet. Its gross. Its generally flavorless. Bechamel makes a delightfully creamy addition between the layers and when ladled on the final noodles as the topping, browns and gets that oh so cheesy deliciousness that everyone loves.

Also, while I enjoy TK very much, there are no onions in sauce. EVER. Can I get an amen from the dagos and waps in the room? We are straight off the boat, baby.

Bechamel rules. Onions and ricotta do not. Period.

p.s. @ Joyyyy...yes. it is, only we prefer to be Varsity...never the JV.


1 word, people. Bechamel. Its the worlds answer to disgusting watery, grainy ass ricotta. I make a shitload of lasagna all of the damn time. Period. You will never catch gross ricotta nor cottage cheese (WTF???) in my lasagna and I can safely say it works. I know this because of the hundreds and hundreds of repeat orders I get for it every month.

B E C H A M E L.

Making dog food

Well, my dog does not have digestive issues, she is just a real spoiled bitch. I purchase food, open it, put it in her dish, microwave it, stir it, place it in front of her and she sniffs it and walks away. This is my life. Around day 2.5 of her hunger strike and my impending bankruptcy regarding the multitude of food purchases for her to disregard, one of 3 things happen.

1. I make her scrambled eggs and toast to mix in one of the disregarded cans of food and she eats it with happiness.

2. I make her a plate of whatever we are having for dinner and she eats it with happiness.

3. I do the most logical of the 3 and go to the store, buy a package of hearts/livers/gizzards and cook them low with chicken broth, carrots, celery, garlic, parsley and whatever other random broth veggie I have laying around. I add whole wheat couscous at the end and mix a cup full of this muck over a bowl of puppy chow (she is 14...she likes it, whatever) and she eats it with happiness.

Moral of the story? Im a fucking chump when it comes to this silly bitch dog and she knows it.

turkey breast...woulda, coulda, shoulda???

Tossed the turkey. Bought a fresh. Roasting as I type!

Food and Culture

Some things, for lack of a better way to say it, just shouldnt be fucked with. Tradition is best. There are absolutely people that want to take things to the next level, deconstruct something, give it a fresh twist. Thats all bullshit. People like to add a bunch of crap to traditional things so they feel like they have actually accomplished something instead of dicking it up.

There are masters of the old school and will remain the masters. No matter how much cumin, sriracha, wasabi or any other "new and unique" thing someone adds, it doesnt change the fact that a classic will bust the balls of any new age hack job there is.

Tell your Dad to hold on tight, make a shitload of mole and watch as the youngsters always circle back to the old schoolers. HOWEVER, Rick Bayless aint no joke. I would jump at the chance to eat his food.


@ Jerzee tomato....agreed. Spot on. Thats how my entire family makes/eats them and I will be the first to tell you that my maiden name ends in "ovsky".

I adore Black Pepper: but is it healthy?

Okay, I'll bite. Are you actually being serious? I have never, ever, EVER in my entire cooking life heard that there are reasons not to use black pepper other than if I sniff too fast I sneeze.

Love pepper, in any form.
There is no myth/non-myth.
Id REALLY love to see something in print.

900 bajillion chefs/cooks/casual cooks/caterers/michelin starred restaurants/classically trained/home ec class taking 13 year olds/beer drinking frat guys with a pizza and a pepper grinder cant be wrong.


Well, since there is anarchy happening on Facebook about meatballs and the bastardization of them, here it is...

ground beef
ground veal
ground pork (1lb of each)
good romano cheese (and a crapload of it)
1 egg, beaten
4 cloves of fresh garlic, microplaned
chopped fresh parsley
salt and pepper

There are no vegetables in meatballs. There are no soup mixes in meatballs. There is no bread/oatmeal/rice/flour/wet bread/elmers glue/spackle in meatballs. Mix it all LIGHTLY. Brown them LIGHTLY. Drop them in BOILING HOT sauce and DO NOT touch them for a half an hour or so before you stir and they wont break apart, hence not needing all those gross fillers.

Will N1H1 flu scare change your dining out habits?

probably just continue to do crazy things like washing my hands, avoiding icky people or things as a whole, using clorox clean up on any inanimate object within 500 yards and not inhabiting restaurants that 1. have Board of Health write ups 2. are subpar in the way the restaurants cleanliness and waitstaff presents themselves.

Get a flu shot just for kicks.

What's Up With All These One Word Answer Postings?

@simon...bravo. Beautifully, albeit painfully put for some. I rarely head over here anymore unless one of the old schoolers posts something of importance (like this thread) on facebook.

Its the same as those annoying **WAY** or **NO WAY** questions (sorry, Pmac) can choose to comment or not. Nobody is holding a gun to your head and forcing you to answer. Dont like the content? Go somewhere else. Most of us did. Facebook is where its at.

FYI: You wont EVER find me posting under anything but ChelleyD01 on ANY site that I go to. Mostly because 1. I generally dont give a shit what people say/think about me. 2. I actually look forward to someone challenging me. 3. It makes me all warm and fuzzy inside.

What Will Brian Boitano Make?

uhhhhh, search box at the top of the page. Its kinda like a wonder bra for the food world.

I love you, simon. Lets get married and run away together since everyone hates us anyway!

Critic-Turned-Cook Steels Herself for Canning Season with Canning Across America

Jesus people...dont be so dramatic. The photo is OBVIOUSLY for the showing of the jar and the tongs. You can clearly see that the pot is not tall enough to have enough water to cover the lids without overflowing even before the boil. It looks like a regular old Calphalon stock pot...barely holds the 4 quart jars let alone boiling water. Who even processes 4 quart jars? No drama, its just a pic and if some ass really did boil like that, I pity the fool to clean the mess of the ceiling.

Help me try and help my 18 year old son and G2

The HFCS is not going to kill the kid. He is an athlete and I assure you, there are far worse things he could be putting into his body than some G2. It gives him what he needs to replenish and realistically, PRO athletes drink original and G2 all day, every day, so it cant be all that awful. Give the kid a steak and a salad and it will round it all out.

I need help!!!!

@ carol...have you ever tried steaming? It takes awhile, but it makes a great result.


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