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it sounds as if the problem is as much how his pickiness presents itself Vs the actual fact of the pickiness.
you need to negotiate how he goes about tasting and reacting. instead of filling his plate hiding the uneaten, he should take a bite only, then only take more of what he will actually eat. He also must accept that if he rejects what's for dinner, he makes his own substitute.

You, OTOH, have to deal with adjusting your daily cooking to reflect some of his opinions. Cooking can be fun, but the day in day out feeding of your partner & family isn't so much about the fun for you as about the fact that people need to eat. Plus, if he rejects your food in favor or cornflakes or PBJ for days on end, you can't be hurt.

if you someday are having kids, he needs to have learned to reject in a low-key fashion so as not to 'teach' his pickiness to them. I won't go so far as to expect him to sometimes noticeable eat something he is known to dislike, to model polite behaviour. But it would be handy.

PS I was in a relationship in which we had very different food cultures. our inability to appreciate each others standards was but one of many problems. But 3 times a day one or both of of us being annoyed or mad or disappointed sure didn't help. If you cant fine some way to enjoy meals together, some compromises, then hang it up now.

My first wife hated eggs, bananas, mustard, my watermelon fruit salad, my top secret recipe 6 grain pancakes, didn't like breakfast in general. Of course, I'm more of a breakfast cook, but her idea of cooking is heating up canned soup (mac and cheese was a highlight of her cooking skills). In fact, when we first got together, the only thing she ate was McDonald's cheeseburgers and fries. (I did get her to eat fresh cut up strawberries.) So when we split, I vowed that I would avoid dating picky eaters.

So of course, my last (I'm planning it that way, anyhow) wife is a great cook - an amateur chef IMHO, but she's vegan (and I'm allergic to the entire legume family). We have great fun trying to create dishes that we can both eat (the entree is always veggies, the protein ends up a side dish for each of us), and she has decided that fried rice with eggs is ok (she is having trouble getting enough protein in her diet). And as a bonus, she loves my pancakes (which I modify by substituting coconut or almond milk for sour milk and/or yogurt), and never complains about my potatoes.

So, as to your problem, drag the bum into the kitchen now and again and make cooking a shared activity - fun-shared, not chore-shared. If he is a good kitchen companion (maybe not entirely his cup-o-tea, but as a special activity), then it will lessen the anti-everything you seem to interpret from him right now, and some of his ideas might end up being useful in figuring out how to feed him when you are cooking without him. If you two can't get along in the kitchen, I'd have to vote for a quick exit strategy.

Every person you meet and get along with very well isn't necessarily your mate. Food is something you will be sharing with this person for life, 3 times a day plus snacks. Not to mention favorite holiday treats... that adds up to a lot of things you won't be sharing, possibly even arguing about. You love to cook, and may see food as love. His constant rejection of your offerings and likes may over time wear like water dripping on stone and erode love and respect. A very long list of verboten foods is a whole different thing than not caring for a few things. Stay friends if possible but think long and hard about developing more intimacy.
BUT- utimately it's your life, your choice.

I think if you were really crazy about this person, his food habits wouldn't bother you as much. And, vice-versa, he would make an attempt to be more adventurous.

My husband was a picky eater when we first started dating. Over time, he's broadened his horizons food-wise, and I save the things he really won't eat to savor when I'm having a meal without him. A good compromise, I think.

I'm sorta torn. To some extent I do agree with tapioca. If food is your passion then there is no real way it's going to work out (and you kinda knew that). I am sorta dealing with the same thing, but the exception is that it's only a couple of things and of those things the problem is that he has eaten canned versions and not fresh versions. So I am slowly converting him. I'm still working on cucumbers and pickles - he's German can you imagine him not liking pickles, isn't there some rule about pickled food and Germans. Anyway - if it were a few things then I'd work around it but he seems pickey like a child and for me that's a big red flag.
Years ago someone told me that you can tell everything about a person by what they eat...she was so right

At this stage of a relationship, I dump this guy faster than a hot potato. For anyone who is a subscriber to Serious Eats, food is important (along with wine and other stuff). So connect with someone that shares this passion not someone who is going to disparage or pick at everything you love about food. Get to the core of the issue and stop fretting about symptoms.

Chef Wannabee

@WannabeTVchef - Food allergies are hardly rare. According to the American Academy of Allergy Asthma and Immunology, approximately 12 million people (or about 1 in 25) have food allergies. And that's allergies alone, not sensitivities or intolerances (like lactose intolerance). While a list of 8 foods cause about 90% of food allergies, who are you to judge what is a 'real' allergy. Obviously not a medical professional with the training to diagnose someone's immune disorder.

I've seen someone swell up like a balloon when a server didn't know the correct answer to if there was garlic in a dish. And personally, I'd love to eat raw tomatoes, but paying for that fantastic salsa with a blistered tongue is not a price I'm ok with.

It depends of course on just how picky someone is but for the most part, yes it is a deal breaker. I mean someone with acid reflux is one thing or extreme lactose intolerence but when they are the type to special order everything every time they eat out I have no patience. Also I have no patience with "food alergy" person who seems to have an alergy to everything an adult should eat like mushrooms or spinach. Food alergies are very, VERY rare and some of the ones I've heard (garlic allergy, onion allergy) just do not exist. Nut allergies, shellfish allergies, these are real and they are dangerous but please don't tell me that you are allergic to tomatoes and then soak your fries in ketchup.

My husband and I have been married for almost 26 years. When we started dating, almost 30 years ago, he came from a "Hamburger Helper" household and I came from a gourmet / European household. He was never quite sure what he was going to be served at my parents, but he was always game. While my side of the family introduced him to strange things like broccoli (WITHOUT cheese sauce) and asparagus, I will have to admit that he introduced me to kool-aid slushies and toasted pb & js.

His job has taken him all over the world and he is more than happy to try anything that is put in front of him. Our kids are the same way - they will try anything.

It's a tough call. Is he willing to be educated? If not, your meals are going to be pretty sucky.

Yes, it's an absolute deal breaker!

From your post, it seems clear that you care about food. If you think the BF is a keeper, you need to explain to him how important it is for him to try the foods you like. Marriages have lots of tough spots and if you're not in the same place food-wise (which you care about), it's tough to see how this relationship will work long-term. If he's willing to try things, but still doesn't like it, that's one thing. But it sounds like you're a long way away from that place.

I think the OP needs to stop with some passive agressive food behavior. If you are continuing to make dishes with ingredients he doesn't like, and expecting him to love it just because you want him to, it's never going to work!

So, BF doesn't like mushrooms, but OP loves mushroom risotto, so she's going to make it for dinner. BF's got 3 choices:

1) Refuse to eat it - OP gets angry because she put the work into dinner and he won't give it a chance, gets offended when/if he makes something else
2) Eat it, but pick out the mushrooms - OP gets angry because this is a pet peeve of hers
3) Take a serving, not like it, and not finish it - OP gets angry over wasting food.

There's no way he can win.

I can understand that OP's annoyed because she has to change her cooking behavior due to the relationship. but LOTS of things change for relationships. I don't like America's Next Top Model, my girlfriend loves it. I can deal with watching it because i love her. I like Filk music, my girlfried doesn't... she puts up with it in the car because she loves me.

I hate mayo and ketchup. My GF likes mayo and buys ketchup in those big pump-containers. She likes meatloaf, i think it's a conspiracy. I love mushrooms and could eat them by the pound while she can't even put her revulsion into words. If you love a person, you deal with their preferences, be it entertainment or Food.

Relationships are a give and take