Alright, so I've been thinking about those extremely rare and extremely wonderful tricks/techniques that elevate your food to a higher level... WITHOUT ADDING CALORIES OR ANY OTHER INGREDIENTS(!!!!!). Regrettably, I can only think of a few, but I firmly believe that we here in the SE community can put together an encyclopedic list of brilliant tricks.
Now, my humble contributions:
1. Tofu-- Freeze your firm tofu overnight, thaw, and slice. It turns from a jello-like mass into a sponge that you can marinate in a matter of seconds, and becomes deliciously chewy when fried.
2. Flour tortillas-- Heat a dry pan (not non-stick!) to medium-high heat, and toss the tortilla on there. Flip and rotate every 10-20 seconds, until it gets all bubbly and crunchy and delicious. Elevates store-bought from "edible" to "actually pretty tasty".
3. Bread-- Er... Toast it. To make toast.
I have heard rumors of people turning water into some sort of frigid, crunchy solid, but remain skeptical.