My insane co-Thanksgivingers had requested a 20 pound turkey. I succeeded in talking them down to 16 pounds (still way too large, but you choose your battles), and that is what I ordered, but you get what you get with these special-order fresh local all-volunteer turkeys. Now I've got this 22 pound ornithopter masquerading as a turkey sitting in my refrigerator. Do I a)go with my original plan (stuff it and roast it, however long it takes), b)do something insane like attempt to spatchcock it (with no prior experience and no poultry shears and a strong doubt that I'll have a pan big enough to go under it), or c)something altogether different? Debate. Discuss.