Vegetarian Meats and Cheese

I know many (most?) Serious Eaters revile ersatz meat and dairy products, but I can't shake my inexplicable addiction to vegetarian bacon and also some Tofurky sausages. On camping tricks I've even been known to eat some of those truly un-hot dog-like Smart Life dogs (they're better roasted over the campfire)...and then smack my lips and sigh contentedly. I will even eat these things raw if I am hungry enough.

I won't apologize for loving mock goose at my favorite Chinese restaurant in Massachussetts, but when I lived in Berkeley, California, the Chinese restaurants took vegetarian substitutes to a whole new level. I even tried vegetarian shrimp and EEL. They were gross, to say the least! But I want to give all 5 of those restaurants serious props for trying.

Please share your experiences with vegetarian meats and cheeses. I want to hear it all: good, bad, offensive, and Twilight Zone-ish!

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