Vegetarian Meats and Cheese
I know many (most?) Serious Eaters revile ersatz meat and dairy products, but I can't shake my inexplicable addiction to vegetarian bacon and also some Tofurky sausages. On camping tricks I've even been known to eat some of those truly un-hot dog-like Smart Life dogs (they're better roasted over the campfire)...and then smack my lips and sigh contentedly. I will even eat these things raw if I am hungry enough.
I won't apologize for loving mock goose at my favorite Chinese restaurant in Massachussetts, but when I lived in Berkeley, California, the Chinese restaurants took vegetarian substitutes to a whole new level. I even tried vegetarian shrimp and EEL. They were gross, to say the least! But I want to give all 5 of those restaurants serious props for trying.
Please share your experiences with vegetarian meats and cheeses. I want to hear it all: good, bad, offensive, and Twilight Zone-ish!