Food

Homemade Halloween Treat Manifesto

The modern treatment of Halloween treats sickens me. Store bought, bottom shelf, cheap atrocities for candies in response to fear mongering, hate villaging, and stranger danger obsession.

I declare that I have experienced enough of this, I am tired of it, it saddens me, and I want to retake the Halloween I remember from my youth: homemade treats, building community, and connecting with neighbors.

Henceforth, I will strive to make homemade treats for trick-or-treaters and I will encourage others to do the same. Take Halloween back from fear mongering, make it about community again, and introduce kids to the treats of our childhoods!

However, this must be done with an ounce of realism and sanity. Thus, I propose the following steps to ensure optimal treat-acceptance and minimal-waste:

1) Announce to your neighborhood that you will be making homemade treats, announce the day and time you will make them, give out your address and phone number, and encourage people to come over and help or watch.

2) Individually wrap all treats, include a label with the following information: "HOMEMADE TREAT!", treat name, treat recipe, your name/phone/address/email, and "Please contact me if any questions."

3) Don't make too many treats, plan on running out and replacing the sign below with a sign that reads: "Out of homemade treats this year, try again next year!"

4) Put up a sign at your walk that reads: "CAUTION: Homemade Treats At This House! Parental permission required for treat acceptance. Ingredients include: ...{ingredient list}..."

5) Put up a sign on the door that reads: "CAUTION: Homemade Treats; please do not take any if they will be thrown away."

6) When children trick-or-treat, do the normal, but add on "Do you have permission from your parents to take a homemade treat?" If the answer is no, "Sorry, we only have homemade treats this year."

7) Gracefully accept all returned treats or refusals, do not be insulted.

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Who is with me?

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